#so she walks around as normal day to day and he daydreams about the feeling of her lips on him about every 5 seconds

[liwinly]

ᯓ★ BAD BOY , BAD IDEA

: ✮ "he was trouble wrapped in leather & you ran straight into the fire."

── .✦ Memories and memories . Prompt 18

✦ PAIRING ⸻ badboy!ni-ki x goodgirl!fem-reader

✦ GENRE ⸻ high school romance, fluff, angst, drama

✦ WARNINGS ⸻ kissing, skinship, heartbreak, betrayal, cheating

✦ WORD COUNT ⸻ 1k+

౨ৎ SYNOPSIS :

you weren’t the type to fall for bad boys. but then again, ni-ki wasn’t just any bad boy. he was a storm you didn’t see coming, all sharp grins and reckless charm, making you feel like you were the only girl in the world. but the thing about storms? they leave nothing but ruins behind.

Y/n had a huge crush on Ni-ki since middle school. It wasn’t a normal crush. It was the kind where she would daydream about him in class and then pretend she wasn’t staring when he turned around. The kind where her heart did stupid gymnastics every time he walked by. ─ Read more under the cut!

But the problem?

Ni-ki was Ni-ki.

He was the school’s bad boy. Too cool, too handsome, too untouchable. He skipped class, talked back to teachers, and somehow always smelled really good?? He had a leather jacket, a motorcycle (even though he was probably too young for a license), and an attitude that made girls fall at his feet.

And Y/n? She was just… Y/n.

“Girl, stop,” Minji, her best friend, groaned as Y/n stared at Ni-ki across the cafeteria. “You’ve been crushing on him for years. It’s embarrassing.”

“I can’t help it,” Y/n whispered, watching as Ni-ki leaned back in his chair, spinning a basketball in his hands, totally ignoring the girls giggling around him.

Minji rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t even know you exist.”

But oh, Minji was wrong.

Because that same day, something crazy happened.

Ni-ki walked up to her locker, leaned against it like in a movie, and smirked.

“Hey, princess.”

Y/n almost died on the spot.

Ever since that day, Ni-ki started showing up.

Like, everywhere.

He sat behind her in class. He “accidentally” bumped into her in the hallway. He stole food off her lunch tray like they’d been dating for years.

“You’re so annoying,” Y/n pouted one day as he took another one of her fries.

Ni-ki just grinned. “Nah, you love it.”

Her heart did a backflip.

Minji, of course, was suspicious. “This is weird,” she said one afternoon. “Ni-ki doesn’t just talk to girls. He destroys them.”

Y/n ignored her. Because suddenly, Ni-ki was hers.

One day after school, Ni-ki was waiting by his motorcycle, licking a cherry lollipop.

“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked, twirling the candy in his mouth.

“I-I don’t know…”

“You scared?” He tilted his head, his smirk making her weak in the knees.

“N-no!” she stuttered.

“Then get on, princess.”

And she did.

And it was the best (and scariest) ride of her life.

Y/n and Ni-ki got close.

Too close.

He started texting her at night. He’d throw pebbles at her window and laugh when she peeked out. He’d pull her into empty hallways and whisper things that made her blush like crazy.

One night, he snuck her out to the basketball court. It was just them, the cool night air, and the sound of crickets.

Ni-ki spun the ball on his finger. “You’re different,” he muttered.

Y/n blinked. “Different how?”

“You actually look at me like I’m a person.” He flicked the ball away and stepped closer. “Not just some bad boy.”

Her heart pounded.

And then — BOOM— he kissed her.

It was warm. A little rough. A little sweet.

Her brain stopped working.

When he pulled away, he smirked. “Knew you wanted me, princess.”

Y/n smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

But she was smiling like an idiot.

Everything was perfect right ?

Until it wasn’t.

One day, Y/n walked into school and everything felt off.

Girls were whispering. Some were crying.

Minji looked pale.

“What’s going on?” Y/n asked, her stomach twisting.

Minji swallowed. “Ni-ki… he…”

And then Y/n saw it.

A video was playing on the school TV.

It was Ni-ki and another girl. KISSING.

Y/n’s heart shattered.

She stormed outside and found him leaning against his motorcycle, looking guilty.

“HOW COULD YOU?!” she yelled, voice shaking.

Ni-ki sighed. “It’s not what you think.”

“NOT WHAT I THINK? YOU’RE LITERALLY KISSING SOME RANDOM GIRL ON A BIG SCREEN.”

Ni-ki ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, Y/n—”

“NO! I WAS SO STUPID FOR FALLING FOR YOU!” She turned to leave, but then—

“Wait.” He grabbed her wrist. “I did it to protect you.”

Y/n froze. “What?”

Ni-ki clenched his jaw. “That girl… she’s the principal’s daughter. He found out about us and told me to break up with you. If I didn’t, he’d expel you.”

Y/n’s mouth dropped open.

“So… you fake cheated on me?” she whispered.

Ni-ki looked away. “Yeah.”

Y/n felt like she couldn’t breathe. “You could’ve just told me!”

“Would you have let me do it?”

She didn’t answer.

Ni-ki sighed. “I did it to protect you, princess.”

But Y/n just shook her head, tears in her eyes.

“You broke my heart, Ni-ki.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t need your protection anymore.”

And with that, she walked away.

Y/n ignored Ni-ki after that.

No more texts. No more motorcycle rides. No more stolen fries.

Ni-ki still watched her from afar, regret in his eyes.

Minji patted Y/n’s back. “You finally got over him, huh?”

Y/n hesitated.

She knew bad boys where bad news. And this time, she wasnt falling for it.

.... Or was she?

── .✦ @slayyuna @sugarikiz @amoressb @irasvr

[musubiki]

after mochi forgets im assuming lime either 1. kisses her again and therefore can no longer hold back or 2. thinks about how she seemed into it for the rest of time but cannot work up the courage again

yeah definitely the second one LMFAAOOOOO

hes the type thats like. okay if i did it again, for HER it would be the first time i kissed her but to ME i already did the bit and it took everything i had i cannot do it again its too embarrassing ill need to kiss her under a different pretense somehow (meanwhile mochi walking around like nothing happened)

[leaawrites]

Hi can please request something with Charles Leclerc x reader based on Juno by Sabrina Carpenter

Juno (CL16)

Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

Summary: when you see your boyfriend interact with kids, the baby fever kicks in.

Warnings: talks of pergnancy, fluff,

Wourdcount: 0.6k

Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series

She couldn’t look away from him. And although it happened often, now it felt different. It felt more significant. The deep care inside her flooding her veins and daydreams taking over reality.

What if this was their child?

She had seen Charles with kids before. It always amazed her how gentle he was and how much of a natural. How he wouldn’t get frustrated with their crying and sometimes be the only person who could calm them down.

But now, since they had a talk about it, where Charles confessed that he had thought about it before and that - when it happened - he wouldn’t be one to say no. In fact, Y/n was the one who stopped it from happening that night. Saying, that she was still enjoying her tile with him alone and that she didn’t want anything to change in their little world. But maybe it wouldn’t be bad to expand it a bit further.

They were walking through the paddock, when all of a sudden, a smile child was stood in front of Charles, bright eyes and a huge smile on his face. He was holding a Ferrari cap that was double his head size and a pen. Straightening his arms and wiggling his fingers to make his wish be known. Charles crouched down, holding her hand until the last second, before taking the cap and the pen and smilingly interact with the little boy.

She didn’t know what he said, she didn’t pay attention. All that she knew was, that they had to have that talk again.

Charles closed the door to his driver room as soon as they were in it. Pulling her close to his chest and kissing her like he’d never done it before. Like this was the first time he tasted her. Y/n started giggling at the feeling of his excitement to be alone. She lost his lips but held him close, her arms around his neck and his on her hips.

“You look beautiful today,” Charles whispered, loving to see the blush that crept up on her cheeks whenever he spoke in that low voice.

“Thank you,” Y/n said back, smiling. “I wanted to talk to you, actually.”

When those words left her lips, Charles looked at her perplexed. He hadn’t done anything wrong right? He hoped to know everything that made his girlfriend uncomfortable after 4 years of dating, especially if it was his doing.

“What is it?” His voice went back to normal.

“You remember that talk we had a few weeks ago, right? The one about our future?” She asked, making him nod in confusion. She didn’t want to break it all off, right? “And you remember how I told you that I wasn’t ready to have a baby, right?”

Charles once again nodded. Not catching up to what she was indicating. “What about it?”

“I couldn’t help but reconsider when I saw you interact with that little boy outside,” she confessed, looking down and biting her lip in a nervous manner.

He could feel her hands tighten behind his neck, her fingers nervously fumbling.

“You wanna have a child with me?” He asked. His finger hooking under her chin to make her look up. His voice was soft, the same as his eyes, some eagerness laying behind both.

“I say, that if it happens, I’m not gonna be mad about it,” she declared. Knowing he would’ve started trying right than and there if she gave him permission to.

“Tonight,” he said, kissing her once more. “A little you would look so cute, you know.”“Tonight,” he said, kissing her once more, making her melt into him. Pulling away enough to speak he spoke his own mind. The thoughts occupying him for longer than he could count the days for at this point. It seemed like they haf aleays been there. “A little you would look so cute, you know.”

“A little us sounds better,” she hummed.

[icequeenlila]

oblivious Vander x jealous Silco

“See those girls over there? They seem plenty interested”, Silco said, taking another sip from his drink.

He had to switch to beer like half an hour ago, because working in the mines only paid you so much. Vander watched with a chuckle as his friend scrunched his nose at the bitter taste.

“Y’ could probably walk over ‘n simply grab one by the wrist”, Silco slurred, and Vander couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at the way the man’s eyes went a little cross-eyed as he checked the bottom of his empty glass.

It was the weekend and they were both well beyond wasted. They’d come here with Felicia, but as usual the girl had scuttered off to chat up every single person who was willing to listen. She was an extraordinary yapper on a normal day, the alcohol only boosted her confidence.

“Not interested”, Vander said after a brief glance towards the giggely group of girls. “I’m too comfortable here.”

It was true. The booze had warmed up his body and his mind felt comfortably numb. The booth he and Silco were sitting in was cozy, and their legs were entangled beneath the table. His mouth was curled into a constant smile, as usually when he was drunk.

Silco looked up at him with droopy eyes, his chin resting on one hand. He quirked an eyebrow at Vander, the usual sharp expression softened by too much booze. Vander would have to make sure his friend made it home safe, later.

“You’re the only guy I know who’d pass on that”, Silco said, lifting the glass to his lips.

Vander chuckled at the comment, watching as Silco threw back his head to make the last drops of liquor pour into his mouth. He watched Silco’s Adams apple bob up and down, transfixed by the motion.

The cozy warmth that had settled in his body suddenly felt like thrumming heat. Vander tightened the grip on his own drink, unable to look away. Silco’s neck was long and pretty and bared to Vander entirely. If he wanted, he could simply reach across the table and wrap his hand around his friend’s neck. He bet his fingers would encircle it entirely, his thumb placed on Silco’s Adams apple, feeling it work beneath soft skin.

God, he had to lay off the booze.

Vander almost jumped in his seat when Silco suddenly slammed the heavy glass onto the table, letting out a monster of a belch from the depths of his chest, successfully putting an end to the inappropriate daydream he was having.

Instead, Vander felt the muscles in his belly pull tight as he doubled over laughing. He loved this about drunk Silco; past a certain alcohol level, he lost his manners.

“I hate beer”, Silco muttered, frowning at his empty glass. “We need more.”

“I think you’re done for today”, Vander said, his voice still shaky with laughter. He wiped a tear from his eye, leaning back against the cushioned booth. “You just outdid Felicia’s death-belch.”

Silco looked at him, unimpressed. “I bet she would argue with you on that.”

He moved to stand, but Vander hooked his foot behind Silco’s heel beneath the table, making him slip and flop back down into his seat.

Silco blinked at him, then he looked down at the table, then back at him.

Another chuckle escaped Vander. He loved how his friend lost all his elegance after one too many drinks.

“Got a problem, Bozo two?” Silco quirked a brow at him.

Vander shook his head, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “Not at all”, he said. “I just think it’s time to go home.”

Silco cocked his head. “And I think I need another drink.”

Again, he moved to stand, and again, Vander stopped him from doing so.

“That's bullying”, Silco said, tone dry. “I’m gonna tell Felicia.”

Vander was still smiling. “I think she’ll side with me on this one.”

“Really?” Another quirk of Silco’s eyebrow. “You think Queen Booze will agree?”

“In this case, yes”, Vander said, resting his chin in one hand. “Also, other than you, she’s able to hold her liquor.” He reached out, flicking the strand of hair that always hung into Silco’s face. “As much as I like to hold your pretty hair when you need to throw up, I believe you wanna spare yourself the experience.”

Silco crossed his arms, giving him a sarcastic smile.

Vander chuckled at the sight. Silco looked so pretty in the dimmed light of the bar. Of course he looked pretty in every light. Vander really had to lay off the booze.

“You’re such a nanny”, Silco muttered, looking out at the crowd.

Vander grinned at the comment. “Someone has to take care of you.”

He could see Silco roll his eyes, and his smile grew even wider.

His friend had put on eyeliner, like he always did when they were going out. After spending half the night dancing and sweating, it had gotten slightly smudged, drawing a fine black shadow beneath his pretty eyes. It made the pale blue of his eyes pop out even more.

“Your fan club is staring at us again”, Silco muttered. Vander quirked a brow at the displeased tone in his friend's voice.

He followed Silco’s gaze and found the group of girls whispering and giggling to each other, one of them waving over at him. He gave a short acknowledging nod, which was enough to have them cheering in hushed voices and sticking their heads together in excitement.

Vander chuckled at their antics before turning away. He looked back at Silco, finding him in an increasingly bad mood. He could tell by the crinkle between his eyes and the little pout on his lips.

Vander thought he looked cute like that. Again, he reminded himself to quit drinking for today.

Silco wasn’t looking at Vander, his arms still crossed.

“Hey, Bozo one”, Vander teased. “What are you thinking about?”

Silco gave him a short side glance, before looking back at the dancing crowd. “I’m thinking that I need another drink.”

He sounded almost grumpy now. Another thing Vander loved about drunk Silco; no filter.

“What?” Vander tugged at a dark strand. “You're jealous because I have a fan club and you don’t?”

He tugged again, and finally Silco turned to face him. The glare had deepened on his face.

“Sure”, he muttered. “That’s my problem.”

Vander cocked his head at the sarcastic tone in his voice. A down side of himself getting a little too drunk; he grew slow, especially when it came to social interaction.

Silco caught the questioning look on his face, and quickly deflected.

“Usually I have the suitors lining up, and you know it”, he said, holding his nose a little higher. “You’re just scaring them off tonight.”

A chuckle escaped Vander. “What, because I’m not standing behind the bar for once?”

“Exactly”, Silco said with a shrug of his shoulder. “People think I’m here with you.”

Vander frowned. “You are here with me.”

Like he said before; slow.

Silco studied his face, searching for something there.

“Not what I meant”, he said after a while.

Vander frowned harder, and Silco rolled his eyes.

“I have to use the bathroom”, Silco said, detangling his feet from Vander’s. “See you in a few. If you’re still here then.”

“Where would I go?”, Vander asked as he watched his friend stand up.

Silco looked down at him with his pretty, blue eyes, and an expression that said ‘really?’ inside them.

Vander kept staring up in his pretty blues. He realized the booze had gotten to him more than he’d thought in the beginning.

When he still wouldn’t get it, Silco let out a defeated sigh, slipping out of the booth. His eyes caught on that group of girls again. Vander didn’t understand how they bothered him that much. He himself wouldn’t even have noticed them if Silco wouldn't have pointed it out to him.

Their giggling became pretty loud now; another thing Vander wouldn’t have noticed if Silco wasn’t staring at them so intently.

“On second thought”, Silco muttered when he watched one of the girls get up as if to come over. Her fellow friends cheered her on. “Take me home.”

Vander raised his eyebrows. “Huh?”

Silco turned to face him, blue eyes locking on his, and a demanding hand held out to him. “I’ve had enough drinks. Take me home.”

+

Second Part

Wrote this out of a mood. It ends here bc my sis came in and asked me to play Mario Cart with her.

[lulunothulu]

“So you think I’m hot?” Pt. 4 (finale?)

Tyler Owens x Reader

Summary: A week after you’ve completely healed, you’re on your way to go chase a tornado with Kate and Javi when Tyler stops you. Seems like you’re owed something.

Content: flirting, FLUFF, FINALLY KISSING THIS MAN

A/N: Imagine this is the face he makes after you guys finally kiss and Boone is hyping him up 😭 brb gonna daydream about kissing him.

It had been a week since Tyler almost kissed you in your hotel room. And every day since then, he had been coming to your room and bringing you food, changing your bandage, and just spending time with you.

The more time you spend with him, made you realize that you really liked him. You could feel yourself fall for him and you didn’t mind it.

He was sweet, funny, and thoughtful.

You told him you were craving a cookie? The next day he’d have a dozen cookies for you. You wanted to go for a walk? He’d help you walk around on your crutches—then with a cane—until you got tired and he’d carry you back to your room. He even went with you to get the stitches removed, holding your hand when you were in pain and scared.

Hell, he even helped room service change your bedsheets to keep things fresh.

Never once did he try to kiss you. And by God, did you desperately want him to.

But no, he was a perfect gentleman, waiting until the week was up—and you were back to normal.

Now, you were getting the truck ready to get some last minute data on a tornado a few miles away. You’re back to everyone, Kate and Javi talking in front of the truck.

“I told you, we should go east,” Kate tells Javi.

“Yeah but what if you’re wrong?” Javi argues.

You pop your head out of the truck and yell, “Javi, she’s never wrong! Get your head out of your ass!”

“See, this is why I missed her,” Kate smiles.

“Of course you would,” Javi starts, rolling his eyes. “You always gotta team up on me.”

“You love us!” You say.

Javi looks past you before smiling. “Not as much as the cowboy.”

You turn to see what Javi was looking at to see Tyler jogging toward you, Boone and Lilly behind him.

You close the door to the truck and cross your arms over your chest, smiling faintly.

“Well, looks like you’re all better,” Tyler smiles when he reaches you. “I wonder who was your nurse, I’d love to thank them.”

You shake your head before placing your hands on your hips. “That would be you, dumbass.”

His smile widens at the teasing name. “Oh shit, you’re right.”

“So are you guys gonna chase that tornado a few miles east?” You ask.

“We were planning on it,” he tells you.

“Tyler has to do something first!” Boone says from behind.

You raise a brow before stepping closer to Tyler, a smile forming on your lips.

“Oh? And what’s that?”

Tyler hesitates, something you’d never seen him do. He scratches the back of his neck before taking a step closer to you.

“It’s been a week,” he starts.

“Yeah?” You smile, stepping even closer.

“And you’re all healed,” he continues, also taking another step closer, making you two touch chests.

“And?” You tease, wrapping your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes.

He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you as close and as tight as he can without hurting you.

“And I think we had a deal?” He says it as a question, almost daring you to say yes.

You glance over Tyler’s shoulder to find Boone and Lilly giving you the thumbs up with animated smiles. You chuckle at them before facing Tyler again. His eyes are expectant, waiting for your response.

“We did, didn’t we?” You softly agree.

Tyler nods, not wanting to say anything and holding his breath.

You pull him closer, practically a centimeter away. His breathing tickles the top of your lip, making you smile.

“So then what’re you waiting for?” You whisper, lips softly brushing his.

Tyler doesn’t answer. Instead, he presses his lips to yours, his arms wrapping around you so tightly you almost loose your breath.

His lips are soft and warm against yours. They move, searching and exploring yours and you make sure to match them. Your body is warm, it was already fairly hot out, but now? It was burning in the best way possible.

One of Tyler’s hand moves from your waist to the back of your head and you can’t help but smile into the kiss.

His tongue pushes past yours, wrestling to taste every inch of your mouth before finally settling back and enjoying the taste.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you hear Javi gag.

You and Tyler pull away, noses red and smiles plastered on your faces. You can’t stop smiling and you don’t want to either. You would kiss him for the rest of the day if you could.

“I’ll see you later?” Tyler asks breathlessly.

“Definitely,” you respond. “You know my room number.”

“I meant at the tornado sighting, but that definitely works too,” he smiles.

“Alright lover boy,” Javi says, pulling your arm before hoisting you onto his shoulders. “We gotta go get that tornado, Y/N.”

As Javi turns and walks you to the truck, you see Boone slapping and high fiving Tyler. “You finally did it my man!”

“I can’t believe you finally kissed her,” Lilly adds.

But all Tyler can do is beam at you.

He was definitely hot.

A/N: I felt like this was so short 😭 but I think I closed this out as much as I could. I have more Tyler x Reader fics coming (maybe I’ll keep the same couple? Let me know!!) Anyway, thank you for reading!! Check out my Masterlist for more! Also please feel free to leave me requests, my brain is slowly losing ideas 😂

Previous parts: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

[mischievoushiddleston]

Jealous? Never.

Tim Bradford x Reader

Materlist Here!

The sun warmed Y/N's skin as she got out of her patrol car. She paused for a moment, letting the stress of the day fall away and simply enjoying the peace and quiet. Her eyes closed for a split second before she was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts by a familiar, teasing voice.

“Daydreaming, Officer Y/L/N?” The words were accompanied by an unmistakable scent that enveloped her, as it often did, before she even turned around.

Y/N slowly lifted her gaze and met Sergeant Bradford's piercing blue eyes, which, as always, scrutinized her impassively.

“No, Sergeant Bradford,” she replied with a slight smile that emphasized her own teasing. “I was just enjoying the peace and quiet ... at least until you showed up.” She closed the patrol car door with a soft click before pushing past him and walking over to the table where Angela and Harper were already seated.

“No food?” Harper looked at her with raised eyebrows, her voice carrying a hint of surprise.

Y/N shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "My rookie will take care of it. There's something reassuring about it. Now I understand why Tim always let me do it." She gave Tim an amused sideways glance, while he merely shook his head and made a skeptical sound.

Angela, who was watching the spectacle with a broad grin, leaned forward and changed the subject. “Anyway,” she began, "I heard you had a date yesterday? How did it go?"

Y/N opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by her Rookie, who appeared just in time with a tray of food. She gave him a grateful nod, waited until he was out of earshot again, and then took a deep breath. With a resigned shrug of her shoulders, she let the tension of Angela's question slide through her body.

“So?” Angela urged with a knowing glint in her eye.

“It wasn't as satisfying as I expected...” she admitted slowly.

“Go on,” Angela urged as she casually took a bite and looked at Y/N curiously.

Y/N sighed softly before she began to recount the disastrous date. The man she had gone out with turned out to be a completely incompetent jerk, and the whole date was a bust from start to finish. As she recounted the most embarrassing details, she secretly vowed never to go on a date again - at least not if it was just to distract herself from her own feelings.

Because deep down, she knew that she always found herself thinking about someone else. Someone who was unattainable. A man who was far too present in her fantasies and completely taboo in reality: Tim Bradford, her supervisor.

She kept talking, but the more she said, the more she became aware of the unusual silence emanating from the side where Tim was sitting. Normally, he could hardly resist a sarcastic comment or a biting remark when she complained about something. But this time there was nothing. Not a word.

Maybe she was just imagining things? Maybe he just didn't feel like taking part in the conversation. But the longer the moment went on, the heavier the tension became. She risked a furtive glance at him, only to find him silent and with an indefinable expression in his eyes.

Was it disinterest? Or perhaps something else? Uncertainty gnawed at her, and she had to force herself to turn her attention back to Angela and Harper, even though she was already beginning to rethink her words.

Eventually the topic drifted, and Y/N tried to concentrate, to really listen, as Angela and Harper took the conversation in a new direction. But as much as she wanted to, her thoughts seemed to keep wandering back to Tim. His silence, his look - everything suddenly seemed more meaningful than it probably was.

“I could set you up with one of my cousins,” Angela suddenly interjected with an amused smile, as if she'd had a flash of inspiration.

The words had barely been spoken when Tim stood up abruptly. His chair scraped loudly across the floor and he reached for his barely touched food.

“Break over,” he explained curtly, but there was an underlying growl in his voice that Y/N heard all too clearly. It was so quiet that Harper and Angela might have missed it, but Y/N sensed the tension in his words.

She frowned involuntarily, watching as he marched away with quick steps and finally got into his car. The door slammed so hard that the bang echoed through the air.

“Someone's in a bad mood,” Harper muttered, shoving another forkful of food into his mouth without taking his eyes off Tim's car.

Y/N just hummed softly, an indeterminate response, as she replayed the scene over and over in her head. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to his behavior. Eventually, she rose as well and set off, but her heart beat faster as she approached her car.

The rest of the shift passed without incident, but Y/N struggled to really concentrate. Her thoughts kept returning to Tim, his unusual tension and the unspoken words that hung between them. When the shift finally ended, she was both relieved and uneasy.

At the station, she dropped off her gear and began to get ready for the end of the shift. As she walked down the corridor, her gaze fell into the distance, where she saw Tim disappearing towards the changing rooms. Even from a distance, she could see his tense posture - the stiff shoulders, the quick steps. It was obvious that something was bothering him.

Y/N sighed softly, almost unconsciously, and followed him. As she came closer, their eyes crossed for a brief moment. She smiled cautiously, hoping to lighten the mood, but he didn't return it. His face remained expressionless, perhaps even more withdrawn than before, and he disappeared behind the door without a word.

An unpleasant feeling spread through her. Had she said or done something wrong? She went over the day's events in her mind, but couldn't find an obvious reason.

Suddenly John passed her and she took the opportunity to stop him. “Is something wrong with Tim?” Her voice sounded quiet, almost hesitant, but the concern in it was unmistakable.

John paused and shrugged his shoulders. “I don't know... He's been like this since lunch,” he said casually before moving on, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Y/N sighed again, deeper this time, feeling even more at a loss than before. But she decided not to just go home without at least trying to figure things out. Reluctantly, she walked towards the changing rooms, her steps slower than usual. Maybe, just maybe, she would be fast enough to intercept him in the parking lot. It was a weak plan, but she knew she wouldn't get any rest all night otherwise.

When Y/N arrived at the parking lot, the disappointment was not long in coming. Tim's car had already disappeared, and with a frustrated sigh, she finally made her way home as well. The day had drained her, but the uncertainty and unspoken feelings weighed heavily on her.

As soon as she entered her apartment, she dropped her keys in the bowl in the hallway and ran a hand through her hair. Another disappointing day. Why did everything always have to be so complicated? The men she dated always turned out to be disappointments - idiots who couldn't come close to matching the man who was constantly on her mind.

Tim.

Why couldn't anyone be like him? Strong, resolute, reliable - and at the same time with an unconscious gentleness that touched her more than she would ever admit. These thoughts accompanied her to the bathroom, where she undressed with a sigh and stepped into the shower.

The warm water washed over her body, relieving the tension of the day, and she hung her head briefly before leaning against the tiles. Tim. His image forced itself into her mind again, so vividly that she could almost grasp it.

At first it had only been respect. His authority, his experience, his incomparable instinct - all that had made a deep impression on her. But over time, it had become something deeper, a feeling she could no longer ignore.

The water ran over her skin and she hummed softly to herself, enjoying how the heat relaxed her muscles. But then her thoughts drifted in a different direction. She imagined him looking at her - with that penetrating, all-encompassing gaze that always upset her.

Involuntarily, her hand slid to her breasts. In her imagination, it was his rough hands touching her sensitive skin, his fingers taking her nipple between them while he whispered soft, dirty words in her ear. A soft moan escaped her lips and a tingling sensation ran through her.

Her legs instinctively pressed together as she imagined his hard, muscular body pressed against hers, his erection rubbing firmly against her ass. His hands wandering determinedly over her stomach, sliding lower until they reached her pussy.

In her mind, it was Tim forcing her to open her legs with his knee, feeling her so intensely that she could barely breathe. Her hand followed her thoughts, touching her where she wanted to feel him, where the heat was strongest.

But before she could lose herself further in her fantasy, the sudden ringing of the doorbell snapped her out of her daydream.

Y/N paused, her hand trembling slightly as she found her way back to reality, breathing heavily. Whoever it was had ruined the perfect moment - and yet she wasn't sure if she was grateful or angry about it.

Y/N turned off the water, grabbed the towel and hastily wrapped it around her still damp body. The sudden ringing still echoed in her ears as she walked with quick, annoyed steps to the front door. Whoever it was had chosen miserable timing.

As she opened the door, ready to vent her frustration, she froze instantly. Her lips remained slightly parted, but no words came over her as she realized who stood before her.

“T-Tim?” Her voice trembled and her thoughts seemed to stop completely for a moment. The man in front of her, soaked from the rain, his blue eyes more intense than ever, left her unable to think clearly.

But before she could even understand what was happening, Tim closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was raw, demanding and full of suppressed emotion. Y/N stood transfixed for a moment, surprised by the sudden passion that overtook her.

But it didn't take long for her body to react. Her heart raced as she took the initiative, returning his touch and pulling him resolutely into the house. The door slammed shut behind them, the soft click drowned out by the sound of her own pulse.

Tim's hands were everywhere. They explored her body with an urgency that made her tremble. His fingers ran over her back, pulling her closer to him as he pressed her body against the cool wall. The thin towel covering her almost naked body suddenly felt like a barrier that they both wanted to get rid of immediately.

Their lips parted for a moment, and Y/N gasped for air before Tim planted hot kisses on the line of her neck, hitting her most sensitive spot and eliciting a soft gasp. His touch was firm yet demanding, his hands running over her waist, leaving her in no doubt as to how much he wanted her.

Her thoughts were blotted out, only the here and now mattered. And Tim. Only Tim.

With trembling hands, Y/N reached for the hem of his shirt. Her fingers touched his skin as she slowly pulled it over his head. The garment landed carelessly on the floor, but her attention was focused only on him. Her eyes slid over his muscular chest, sculpted by years of hard work and discipline.

With a mixture of awe and desire, her fingers traced the contours of his muscles, tracing each hard ridge of his chest and abs. Her touch was gentle, almost reverent, as she felt his muscles tense under her fingers.

“Please... Tim,” she breathed, her voice barely more than a whisper, but full of desire. Her hands traveled upward, caressing his shoulders and finally his neck, where she reached into his dark hair. She pulled him gently towards her while her body leaned longingly against his.

Tim paused for a moment, his penetrating eyes searching her gaze as if to make sure she was as devoted to the moment as he was. Then, without a word, he untied the towel that was wrapped around her body.

The fabric fell silently to the floor and the cool air of the room brushed against her now bare skin. Tim took half a step back, his eyes slowly gliding over her body. His gaze was intense, admiring, and his chest rose and fell noticeably faster as he looked at her.

“You're beautiful,” he murmured hoarsely before leaning forward again. His lips found their way to her breast and a soft gasp escaped Y/N as he encircled one of her sensitive nipples with his mouth.

The warmth of his tongue, the gentle but determined way he spoiled her, made her heart beat faster. She placed one hand on his head, holding him there, while her other hand pressed against the wall behind her to keep her footing. His teeth brushed lightly over her sensitive skin, sending a shiver through her body.

Tim didn't give her a moment to think, his hands finding their way onto her hips, pulling her even closer to him as his lips left her breast and sought their way lower. Y/N's breathing became heavier, her thoughts blurred, and she lost herself in the sheer intensity of his touch.

Y/N's breath came in gasps as Tim released his lips from her breast. His hands remained firmly on her hips, his fingers leaving a burning desire on her skin. For a moment he looked at her, his gaze dark and full of passion. Without a word, he bent down slightly, lifting her up with ease and carrying her in his arms. 

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, her face close to his. Her lips found his, and she kissed him hungrily as he walked down the hallway with firm steps. The intensity of the moment made her forget everything else - the soft creaking of the wooden floor, the distant sound of the rain outside. All that mattered was Tim.

Once in the bedroom, he pushed the door open with his foot and gently laid her on the bed. Y/N felt the cool sheets against her skin, but it was the heat of his body that she really sensed. He leaned over her, supporting himself with his arms while his face was only inches away from hers. 

“Tim...” she whispered and placed her hands on his chest. Her fingers slid over the hard contours of his muscles before holding onto his pants. “Take your clothes off,” she added softly, her gaze urgent and full of desire. 

A wry smile played around his lips, but his eyes remained serious, almost hungry. “As you wish,” he murmured, his voice low and husky. 

He straightened up as Y/N lay on the bed, watching his every movement with an impatient tingle. His hands reached for his belt, slowly undoing it before he slid his pants over his hips and let them slide carelessly to the floor. Underneath, he was only wearing a pair of tight-fitting boxer shorts that barely concealed how much he wanted her.

 

Y/N's gaze traveled over his body, over the definition of his muscles, the strong line of his thighs, and she bit her lower lip slightly. “Anything,” she whispered demandingly, a shy smile on her lips, but her eyes betrayed that she was serious. 

Tim slowly removed his boxers, and Y/N's breath caught as he stood completely naked in front of her. His body was a perfect blend of strength and masculinity, and her thoughts were momentarily blotted out. 

He stepped closer to the bed, bent down to her again and placed a hand on her cheek. “Are you sure?” he asked softly, his voice gentle but imbued with passion. 

“Yes,” Y/N replied without hesitation, pulling him close until his body was once again close to hers. The moment was unstoppable, and she knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. 

Tim let his gaze slide slowly over her body until it finally lingered between her spread thighs. His eyes were dark, almost devouring, and the expression on his face made Y/N's heart beat faster. With a slight squeeze of his knee, he pushed her legs even further apart and she willingly obeyed him, opening herself completely to him.

“So good,” he murmured in a low, raspy tone that sent a shiver down her spine. “You're perfect...all over.”

Y/N's breath hitched as she felt his hand stroke her thigh, slowly, almost torturously. His fingers traced small circles on her skin as his gaze deepened between her thighs. He shook his head slightly, a smug, crooked smile on his lips.

“Do you have any idea how crazy you're driving me?” His voice was husky, and as he spoke, he let his fingers trail higher, just below her most intimate spot. Y/N's body tensed in anticipation, a soft gasp escaping her.

“Tim...” she pleaded softly, her voice full of longing, but he seemed to be taking his time tormenting her.

“So impatient,” he teased her, leaning forward until his face was close to hers. "I've been thinking about you all day. About what you'd look like if I had you right in front of me... naked, ready, and all for me."

His words made her tremble, and another gasp escaped her lips as his fingers finally slipped between her legs. The contact was gentle, almost teasing, but it was enough to drive her mad.

“Do you feel that?” he asked, his voice almost a growl as his fingers explored her further. "How hot you are? How wet?"

Y/N could only nod, unable to form words as her body arched toward him. Her hands gripped his shoulders, clawing into his skin as he slid one finger inside her and then added a second.

“You want more, don't you?” he asked as he slowly pleasured her with his fingers, driving her to the brink of madness. "Tell me. Tell me how much you want me."

“I ... I want you,” she gasped, her voice trembling with desire. “I need you, Tim ... please.”

The smile on his lips widened and his movements became faster, more intense. “Good start,” he murmured as he continued to work her, giving her pleasure and demanding at the same time: "But I want to hear everything. Tell me what you feel. What you want."

His body was now close to hers and she could feel the warmth of his skin, the strength of his muscles as he drew her into a world of pure ecstasy with words and touch.

Tim watched her every reaction, her unsteady breaths, the trembling of her body under his fingers, and a self-satisfied smile flitted across his lips. “You're so sensitive, Y/N,” he murmured as his fingers moved in a slow circular rhythm, deep inside her. “I could spend all evening tormenting you like this.”

Y/N writhed slightly beneath him, her hands seeking support on his arms, her head pressed lightly into the pillows. “Tim...” she gasped, her voice pleading. “Please stop teasing me ... I need you.”

His blue eyes fixed her, a dangerous gleam in them that made her tremble even more. “That urgent?” he asked, lowering his head to let her feel his hot breath on her neck. His lips brushed her skin, his tongue leaving a wet trail as he nibbled on her most sensitive spot. 

His fingers suddenly left her, eliciting a soft, disappointed gasp from Y/N. But before she could protest, he knelt between her legs and pushed them further apart so that she presented herself fully to him. His gaze traveled slowly over her body, lingering on the heat between her legs, and his tongue ran over his lips as if he intended to devour her. 

“You have no idea what you're doing to me,” he said hoarsely, his voice full of passion and possessiveness. "I want to hear you scream, Y/N. I want you to shout my name so loud that everyone knows who owns you."

Before she could answer, he leaned forward and his tongue stroked slowly and firmly over her most sensitive spot. Y/N's whole body tensed, a loud moan escaping her lips as he worked her with his mouth. His tongue found the perfect rhythm, alternating between gentle and more intense movements until Y/N began to squirm against him. 

“So, so sweet,” he murmured as he paused briefly to savor her reaction. His hands gripped her hips, holding her tightly as she moved uncontrollably. "Stay still, baby. Let me finish you off."

Y/N could do nothing but obey him. Her fingers dug into the sheets, her chest rising and falling frantically as the waves of pleasure rolled over her. “Tim... I...” she gasped, unable to finish the sentence as he slid his tongue deeper, exploring her until she seemed to dissolve. 

“I know, babe,” he whispered, pulling back a little to use his fingers again as his thumb teased her most sensitive spot. "I know exactly what you need. Tell me. Let me hear everything."

“I want you inside me,” she gasped, her voice rough with desire. “I can't take any more ... please, Tim.”

A dangerous smile appeared on his lips, and he straightened up, his imposing presence over her like a burning flame. “Suit yourself, baby,” he murmured as he wrapped her legs around his hips, positioning himself and filling her with a single, deep thrust.

The sensation made them both gasp out loud, and Y/N clutched at his shoulders, her nails leaving red marks on his skin. Tim moved slowly, enjoying seeing her beneath him, completely at his mercy and overwhelmed with lust.

“So tight... so perfect,” he moaned as he increased the rhythm, getting deeper and harder, each movement accompanied by a soft, dirty whisper. "Tell me how good I make you feel, Y/N. Tell me no one else will ever be enough for you again."

Y/N moaned his name, her voice rough and full of devotion as she clung to him as if she was finding support in him. His every movement sent waves of pleasure through her body, and with each powerful thrust, he rolled his hips with such precision that he hit the spot inside her that nearly made her lose her mind. Her fingers clawed instinctively into his back, leaving fine red marks that bore witness to the intensity of the moment.

His movements were a perfect blend of control and passion - possessive, as if he wanted to mark her as his forever, and yet tender, almost reverent, as if he was savoring every second with her. The alternation between demanding intensity and gentle devotion brought her to the brink of madness.

“You're so perfect, Y/N,” he murmured hoarsely, his voice vibrating deep in her chest as he looked at her, his eyes dark with desire. "Every inch of you is mine. And only mine."

His pace increased, his hips moving in a powerful rhythm as his hands gripped her hips as if he could pull her even closer. Y/N's body responded to his every touch, her back instinctively lifting off the bed as she arched towards him, completely lost in the thrill of his nearness.

Y/N felt the heat growing in her body, but she wanted more - she wanted to overpower him as much as he wanted to overpower her. With a sudden jerk, she spun around, using the momentum to push Tim onto his back. Surprised, he let himself fall, his eyes wandering up to her, full of desire and slight amusement.

“So you're taking the lead?” he asked, his voice dark and raspy as a crooked smile graced his lips.

“Oh, I will,” she replied breathlessly, her eyes sparkling with determination. She pushed her hair back and sat on top of him, her hands resting on his muscular chest, her nails scraping lightly over his skin, eliciting a low, rough moan from him.

Y/N moved her hips slowly, teasingly, letting him feel her heat without immediately giving him everything. His hands gripped her thighs, trying to guide her rhythm, but she stopped him with a challenging look.

“Patience, Sergeant,” she whispered with a confident smile. “Now it's your turn to be tortured.”

She leaned forward, her lips grazing his collarbone before she let her tongue glide over his skin. Her movements remained slow, provocative, and she savored the way his body responded beneath her - his tense muscles, the deep, raspy breathing coming from his chest.

As she began to move her hips in a deeper, steadier rhythm, a throaty moan escaped him. His hands slid over her body, holding her as if he wanted to regain control, but Y/N wouldn't let him. She moved faster, letting herself be driven by his desire and her own lust.

“You look so good when you give up control,” she whispered as she leaned back slightly, her movements becoming even more intense. “Tell me how it feels, Tim.”

“It feels like you're killing me,” he growled, his voice rough with arousal. “And I love it.”

His words drove her on, her movements becoming more demanding until they were both on the edge of a climax they reached together - their names mingling in a symphony of passion that filled the room.

Tim let her enjoy the control for a moment, but then something changed in his gaze - a mixture of challenge and burning desire. With a sudden movement, he grabbed her hips, held her tight and began to thrust into her from below. The unexpected depth made Y/N gasp loudly, her head falling back as her hands clutched at his torso.

“Did you think I was going to let you do all the work?” he murmured with a dangerous smile, his breathing heavy and erratic. His hips moved in a powerful rhythm, each thrust deeper and more intense than the last, until she could barely breathe.

Y/N's body shook above him, and she couldn't stop another moan from escaping her throat. But that wasn't enough for him. One of his hands let go of her hip and slowly moved forward until his fingers found the most sensitive spot between her legs. With skillful movements, he began to rub them as he continued to thrust into her from below.

“Do you feel that?” he whispered hoarsely, his gaze fixed on her face, which was contorted with lust. "I want you to explode. I want you to remember who you belong to."

His words and the intensity of his touch drove her to the brink of madness. Her fingernails scratched across his chest, leaving red lines as she moved towards him, taking him even deeper inside her.

“Tim, I...” she gasped, her voice breaking as she felt the climax inevitably approaching.

"Don't talk. Feel," he interrupted her in a raspy voice as he pressed his thumb harder against her sensitive spot, the movements of his fingers and hips perfectly synchronized.

Y/N's body tensed, her breath hitched, and then the wave of ecstasy overtook her with an intensity that made her tremble. Tim held her tightly, letting her enjoy the moment to the full without letting up for even a second.

As her breathing slowly calmed down, he pulled her closer to him, his movements becoming slower, but no less demanding. “I'm not done with you yet,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her passionately again and beginning to explain the next peak.

Tim held her body tightly, his movements deep and controlled, but the urge to reach his own climax began to make itself felt in every thrust. Y/N felt him tense inside her, his breathing becoming heavier, his rhythmic movements more erratic but just as intense.

“Y/N...” he gasped, his face buried in the hollow between her neck and shoulder as he pulled her against him, as if he wanted to feel her even deeper. His hips met her body so perfectly with each thrust that she thought she could feel the tension rising inside her again.

“I'm with you,” she whispered, her hands running through his hair and clutching the back of his neck. She could feel his muscles trembling, holding back hard to hold on a little longer.

“You feel so incredibly good,” he groaned, his voice rough and full of passion. “I want ... you to feel everything ... until the last moment.”

Y/N wrapped her legs around him tighter, pulling him even deeper inside her, and the sound of his throaty, low moans made her body tremble again. His movements became more uncontrolled, more intense, until he finally remained deep inside her and the tension was released.

A loud, harsh sound escaped him as he finally reached his climax. His grip on her hips tightened, his body vibrating as he released everything into her. Seconds passed in a frenzy, his breathing heavy and erratic, and his forehead rested against hers as they both tried to regain their senses.

“Y/N...” he finally murmured, his voice a husky whisper as he gently lowered her into the mattress. His eyes met hers, and for a moment the world seemed to stand still.

She smiled faintly, her fingers stroking his cheek. “That was...”

“Perfect,” he finished the sentence for her, pulled her closer and let his body sink against hers. Their breaths melded together and all that remained was the heat of their bodies and the unspoken words hanging in the air.

He held her gently in his arms, his fingers sliding soothingly through her hair as their breaths slowly found a steady rhythm again. Y/N snuggled up to him, her head resting on his chest, which was still rising and falling slightly from the exertion.

“That was... unexpected,” she finally breathed, a soft giggle accompanying her words as she let her lips brush tenderly across his chest.

Tim let out a low, satisfied hum as he lightly brushed her neck with his lips. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you first,” he admitted, his voice soft but firm, “but when I saw you in just that towel...” He interrupted himself, a slightly guilty but amused smile crossing his face. “I just couldn't stop myself.”

Y/N lifted her head slightly, resting her chin on his chest and facing him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “What did you want to say?” she asked curiously as her fingers brushed playfully over the line of his jaw.

He took a deep breath as if to gather himself for the words to come. His eyes met hers, full of honesty and determination. "You're mine ... whether I'm your superior or not. I don't want to hide that any longer, Y/N. I'm in love with you."

His words made her heart beat faster. She searched his eyes for a hint that he was hesitant or unsure, but instead all she found was sincere emotion. A warm smile spread across her lips and she leaned in to kiss him gently.

“I love you too,” she whispered against his lips before smirking slightly. “Or rather, I'm in love with you.”

Tim raised his eyebrows and grinned mischievously. “I liked the first one better - with the ‘I love you’,” he teased and pulled her towards him for another kiss. Their lips met, passionate and intimate, as if the tension of the last few months had finally dissolved into something tangible.

When she pulled away, he looked at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Just so we're clear, you're not going on any more dates. Unless they're with me."

Y/N laughed softly, raised an eyebrow challengingly and asked pointedly, “Oh yeah? And what if I do?”

His grin widened, and before she knew it, he had turned her onto her back with a smooth jerk. A surprised sound escaped her as he leaned over her, his hands on her wrists, his gaze intense and playful at the same time.

“Then I'll remind you every time who you really belong to,” he whispered harshly, before his lips found hers again and the world around them faded away.

[sincere1ystar]

Loved You First

rafe cameron x fem! reader | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 3

Two years ago, Rafe left the island without saying a word. Unknowingly to him, you were pregnant all along. When he finally comes back, he’s desperate to get you back not knowing it’s more complicated than it seems.

𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍

You’ve always daydreamed about the different situations that would have occurred if Rafe ever came back when he first left you. While Julie was napping you would constantly imagine what would happen if Rafe just walked through the door that moment. But that was before of course, before you managed to construct a heart of steel.

It was different now that he actually was here. You pushed those feelings to the side, yet Rafe still managed to be a presence in your life. He constantly comes by the diner and even started to repair things at the house. You never noticed the paint peeling off the walls until you came home to Rafe with a paint roller in one hand and balancing Julie on his hip with the other.

You didn’t trust Rafe completely, but you couldn’t deny he was a good father to Julie. Which was your reasoning on why you allowed him watch Julie while you work at the diner more often. Your little girl wouldn’t know him as the guy who left without saying a word, and you were thankful for that at the very least.

The days at the diner were long and tedious. And today was like no other, taking orders and cleaning tables. “Welcome!! What can I get started for you today?”, you say pulling your notepad out ready to take the order.

The man takes a moment to recite his order, sitting at the booth looking over at you admiringly. “I’ll just take a soda and fries”.

“Of course!! Well that be all?”, you ask slipping your notepad and pen back into your pocket.

The man nods in response before chuckling under his breath. “So I never got your name”.

“Well it wasn’t exactly on the menu now was it?”, you reply cheekily. Normally you just smile and walk away when customers tried to flirt with you, but this time you engaged. Anything to get your mind off of Rafe and his return back into your life.

“Think I might start becoming a regular around these parts. My name is Logan, you work here often?”, he asks with his hand out for you to shake.

You smile while shaking his hand. “I work here full-time yes, but not every day”.

Logan gasps dramatically which earns a giggle from you. “Not everyday huh… How about tomorrow? You working then?”

“Tomorrow?.. I’ll be off why?”, you ask knowing exactly where this was going.

“I’d like to take you out tomorrow, maybe we could go out to dinner?”

Normally you reject dates, not being fond of the change it brought to your everyday schedule. But with Rafe back in your life, change seemed to be surrounding you constantly. Plus there wasn’t anything wrong with putting yourself out there, you were sure Rafe had no trouble moving on after he left you.

When you make your way back home, your daughter Julie doesn’t run up to greet you like she always does. Instead she’s snuggled up against Rafe as he re-enacts a story with her dolls. The little girl laughs at his humorous attempts to make her doll dance and when she sees you her giggles turn into full blown out laughter. “Mama!!! Mama you see dolly and papa!!”, she says in between giggles.

You smile and ruffle her hair in response. Even though Julie was little, that didn’t stop her from being sunshine personified. The gentleness Julie brought out in you would never bleed into the coldness you forced yourself to have with Rafe. Still, that didn’t stop him from trying to mend the heartstrings he broke.

“How was your day? Was work good?”, he asks despite hating the fact that you had to work at that diner. If you would just let your walls down and alllow him support you financially, you wouldn’t have to spend your days cleaning tables and serving food.

“It was good”, you say abruptly. “Would you mind watching my daughter tomorrow night too?”

“Our daughter”, Rafe corrected. He hated the formal tone you now had with him. You used to be so free around him. There wasn’t a secret your lips held from him, and now here you were speaking to him as if he was just some sort of house guest. “Yeah I can watch Jules tomorrow no problem, though I thought you had the day off?”

“I do, actually I’m going on a date”, you called out from your closet. Rummaging through your clothes to decide what to wear for tomorrow seemed like a good distraction from answering Rafe’s questions.

“…A date?”, Rafe grimaces while Julie giggles at his expression.

“Yes a date!!”, you exclaim excitedly as you take one of your dresses off the racks. You couldn’t help but break that emotionless demeanor you forced yourself to embody in Rafe’s presence, you were just too excited. It was two whole years since you’ve been taken out after all.

Rafe was happy to finally see that smile he desperately missed, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Yes he wanted you smiling, but not over another man. Would it be selfish of him to say he wanted your cheery nature all to himself? The sunshine Rafe saw in his daughter came directly from you, he had no doubt about it.

The next evening Rafe’s at your door earlier than you expected him to, Julie jumping into his arms to greet him. He laughs as he struggles to lift his head up from the ground after Julie’s surprise hug attack. Although, he had no problem lifting his head up from the ground to see you come out in your dress.

“Beautiful”, Rafe mutters under his breath not realizing he voiced his thoughts aloud.

Luckily for him, you were too busy accessorizing and adding the final touches to your look to notice what he said. He knew you tended to zone out when you were focused, yet your attention was summoned as soon as your date knocked at the door.

“Logan!!”, you gushed as you welcomed him in. “I’m so sorry for holding up I’ll be out in a minute”.

“Take your time”, Logan assured while giving a wave to Julie. Your daughter doesn’t wave back like she usually does and just hides behind her father, which earns a smug grin from Rafe.

Of course he didn’t want you to go out with Logan, but Rafe was glad that you left before his jealousy started to bleed into his words and actions. Julie slowly toddles towards him with her arms stretched out mumbling something that resembled “Up!!! Up!!”

“That guy doesn’t deserve your mama”, Rafe mutters under his breath as he picks up the little girl, “Luke, Leo whatever his name was”. He didn’t realize that he expressed his distastes aloud until the sound of Julie’s giggles rang through this ears.

“What?”, he asks quaintly as if his little girl wasn’t only one year and a half and fully understood the situation. “I’m right aren’t I? Oh forget it you’ll understand it one day when you’re older”.

If you heard Rafe’s words you would have to agree, Logan didn’t deserve you. Not in the sense that you were too good for him, but because of your own insecurities surrounding relationships. You looked perfect on the outside, but doubt started to overflow your insides. You were determined not to let that show as you walked into the restraunt with Logan by your side.

The date wasn’t anything special, but then again it was your first one in two years. It followed normal routine, you sat across from each other at the table and took bites from each other’s meals. Logan was a gentleman, holding doors for you and walking you home. It reminded you of the dates you used to go on with Rafe before he left.

You noted that there probably wouldn’t be a second date with Logan as he walked you home. Sure you enjoyed your time and had fun, but that would be the end of it. Your life was too complicated with Rafe back in it, and something told you bringing Logan would do more harm than good.

“I hope tonight wasn’t too much”, Logan speaks breaking you out of your thoughts.

“No not at all!”, you counterfeit, “I had fun”. God how were you supposed to explain that there was no chance that you were doing this again.

As the two of you get closer to your house, Logan reaches out to take your hand, which you skillfully avoid. Maybe that way he’ll take the hint. You liked him, you really did, but your fear of abandonment was greater than your attraction. Was any man going to love you once he truely got to know you? Rafe once knew you, he truely did. You could be water running through his hands and he would still find a way to hold onto you. He knew every crack and every painted on surface and still left. It wouldn’t be long before Logan would slowly find your shattered pieces leave once he put them back together.

You’re about to break the news when he drops you off at your door. Logan was painfully unaware of the way you held your face from twisting on the walk back to your home. You didn’t want this, you just wanted to be loved for once. You just wanted a chance at a normal love, one that was filled with innocent kisses and whispered reassurances instead of a fiery love and explosive arguments.

“Logan..”, you start slowly with his hands holding yours while the two of you stand at your doorstep. You had to go through with this, it would be for the better.

It was supposed to be easy since the two of you were alone among yourselves. Easy. No one would have to see the heartbreak on his face or witness the cruel words spitting out of your mouth. But of course it had to be more complicated than that, of course you had to catch Rafe peaking through the window while playing with your daughter, pretending as if he was never looking to begin with.

Was he jealous? Here he was trying to win you back, just for you to run into the arms of another man. Unknowingly to Rafe, the only arms you wanted to be held by was his. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction, not after he abandoned you without a word.

“I had fun tonight..”, Logan mutters with smile playing at his lips. “Maybe we should do this another ti-”, he’s interrupted by you pushing your lips onto his.

You didn’t do it out of love, you knew Rafe was watching. Any other version of yourself would seem this as wrong, but now you were too hurt with ache oozing out of you to care.

“I’ll take that as a yes for next time then?”, Logan chuckes which earns an absent minded smile from you.

Rafe was still by the window, not even attempting to hide the fact he was staring anymore while holding a sleeping Julie in his arms. Other than discovering the existence of his daughter, it looks like there was no point of him coming back to the island. What did he expect? It wasn’t like you were gonna embrace him back after he left without notice for two years with a baby, a baby he didn’t know existed but still placing a major responsibility meant for two on your shoulders nonetheless. He was too late, you had moved on and it was over for good. Julie woke up from her nap, looking up at him with those eyes that were blue like his but big and doe-like like yours , Rafe couldn’t help but note that her face was now the only place the two of you would be eternally together.

｡ﾟ•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈• ｡ﾟ

TAGLIST ♡ : @my-name-is-baby @fallout-girl219 @cherrygirl1229 @maybankslover @kulekehe @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @angvl3tears @kundaquarius @eringaitskill @divxnee @starkeycore @snowtargaryen @rorawinters @emmaaas-posts @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @faephoria @mega-kittyglitter-1 @addzlibs @evelynffics @h3arts4harry @leftmakercherryblossom @rafegf-real @outerbankspov @f4irywor1d @mariayjws5

[springtyme]

Maybe something with Steve x f!reader where she is a bit inexperienced and insecure when it comes to dating ad steve askes her out but she is oblivous and thinks it's just as freinds but steve really likes her

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ♡

Steve Harrington x reader || Main masterlist || Steve playlist

summary: If anyone had told your high school self that in a few years you would become friends with Steve Harrington, you would never have believed them, but here you are.

word count: 4.1k

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞: 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟗) 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞

The crisp autumn air wraps around you like a cozy blanket as you step out of your house, one hand clutching your purse while the other fiddles nervously with the hem of your sweater. Tonight is the annual Hawkins fall festival, and you are beyond excited, you’ve always loved this time of year and Halloween is just around the corner. You’re especially excited because Steve asked you if the two of you should go together, which, if you had been told this a few years back, you would never have believed. 

Back then, Steve Harrington was the quintessential popular kid: the cocky, charming, handsome, jock,  always surrounded by a group of friends, the king of cool himself. He was all the things that you were not. You were the quiet girl, the one who blended into the background, often lost in books or daydreams. You had admired him from a distance, never once as much as imagined that he’d ever as much as acknowledge your existence. 

But people change. Steve has transformed over the years, shedding his old persona for something deeper, something more substantial. You have become friends after you started working full time at family video with him this summer. It was awkward at first; the memories of your high school days still lingered in the back of your mind. But as the weeks passed, you found a rhythm together. Steve’s charm was still there, but now it was complemented by kindness and genuine interest in those around him. He was no longer just the popular kid; he was just Steve—and you happen to really like this Steve. 

Sometimes you think that he might feel the same way about you. There are those moments when his gaze linger a little too long, or when he will lean in a little closer than needed to laugh at something silly you said. He seems to always remember the little things—your favorite candy, the books you love, how you like your coffee—there’s a comfortable warmth that has built between you, something that simultaneously feels completely normal and natural yet so confusing. 

You don’t know what to make of it all, all you know is the butterflies in your stomach are practically doing the cha-cha everytime he looks at you, which makes you feel silly, you’re not his type, but the feeling is undeniable. 

You take a deep breath, the cool air filling your lungs, and step outside fully. Steve is standing by his car, a warm smile lighting up his face as he catches sight of you. His hair is slightly tousled by the wind, and he’s wearing that dark green sweatshirt you mentioned under his jacket that you had mentioned you liked a few weeks ago.

“Hey,” he calls out, a smile spreading on his face as he sees you, his eyes sparkling in the golden light of the last sun of the day that illuminates the street. 

“Hey!” you call back, trying to match his energy as you walk towards him. You notice the way his gaze flickers from your face to your outfit—a simple but cute sweater and jeans—but also the way you feel inexplicably warm inside, even as a light breeze rustles the leaves around you.

“You look great,” he compliments, his smile growing wider as he opens the car door for you. You slip inside, fighting back the blush creeping up your cheeks. “I’m really glad that you said yes to come with me, I really wasn’t sure if you would say yes.”

You nod, excitement bubbling in your chest. “Of course. This is going to be fun.”

Steve smiles at your words, a soft one that makes your heart flutter even more. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week,” he admits, starting the engine with a low roar.

The drive to the festival passes quickly, filled with casual chatter and laughter, though you can’t help but feel like there is a slight tension in the air between you. The festival lights twinkle in the distance as you park, and your heart races at the sight of all the attractions—the hay bales, the pumpkins, and the Ferris wheel glowing in the twilight.

As you step out of the car, Steve reaches to grab your hand, a brief but electric moment that makes your pulse quicken. It surprises you, and you, more on instinct than thought, do a little jolt of surprise as you feel his warmth enveloping your fingers. Your action seems to startle him as well. He quickly lets go, and you both look at each other, your cheeks heating as if you’ve both just felt the thrill of a secret.

“Uh, how about we start with the ferris wheel?” he suggests, trying to mask his own awkwardness as you move towards the ticket booth, the festive air filled with laughter and the scent of caramel apples.

“Yeah, that sounds perfect,” you reply, your voice a little shaky as you try to regain your composure. You keep your eyes on the colorful lights strung above, using them as a distraction from the fluttering in your stomach. Friends hold hands, especially in crowded areas, it’s completely normal, but you have just made it weird. 

You purchase your tickets, and while waiting in line, you sneak glances at him, noticing how the festival lights cast a warm glow on his features.

As you stand in line to the ride, the excited energy of the festival surrounds you, yet the moment feels isolated within its own bubble. The cheerful screams from the rides seem distant as you steal another sideways glance at Steve. His brow is furrowed slightly in concentration as he watches the ferris wheel turn, his hands stuffed into his pockets like he’s trying to keep himself grounded amidst the bubbling awkwardness that seems to linger between you.

“Do you… um, like ferris wheels?” he asks, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty, breaking the comfortable silence while trying to affirm the choice of ride.

You chuckle lightly, appreciative of the effort he’s making to fill the space with conversation. “I think they’re great. It’s nice to see everything from up high, even though I’m a little afraid of heights.” The confession spills from your lips before you can second-guess it.

“Uh oh,” he grins, his tension visibly dissipating as a laugh escapes him. “Guess I’m gonna have to protect you from the edge then.”

“Right,” you reply, your heart racing a little faster. There’s something so comforting in his charm, so disarming in the way he manages to make you laugh while also feeling slightly vulnerable.

There’s only a few more people ahead, you can hear the laughter and excited shrieks of those already atop the ferris wheel, and your heart flutters nervously. The excitement of the ride combines with the nervous energy between you and Steve, creating a concoction of emotions that feels exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

Finally, your turn arrives, and you step into the little cabin of the ferris wheel, Steve following behind you. The moment the door closes, you feel an immediate sense of closeness. You both sit on the bench as the ride begins its slow ascent.

A gentle breeze wafts through the cabin as you start climbing higher. The view below spreads out like a beautiful tapestry—people laughing, lights twinkling in the cool night air, and the pumpkin patch glowing in the distance. For a moment, despite that familiar feeling of fear that jolts through your stomach and chest from the height, you’re moved by the beauty of it all.

But just as quickly, the magic of the moment shifts, and you become acutely aware of Steve next to you. The cabin sways slightly, and instinctively, you lean in closer to him, hoping to steady yourself. Your shoulder brushes against his, and the side of your thighs presses against each other, and suddenly, there’s an electric charge in the air again. 

Steve seems to notice, too; his breath hitches slightly, and he glances at you, his brown eyes searching yours for a brief moment before darting away, a hint of color rising to his cheeks. The world outside the ferris wheel becomes a distant memory, the vibrant festival lights melting into a blurred backdrop as the two of you share this intimate space.

“How’re you holding up?” he asks, attempting to calm you with that signature Steve Harrington smile. It’s warm and inviting, and you can’t help but return it, hoping it conveys the mix of excitement and anxiety brewing within you.

“Honestly?” you start, biting your lip slightly as you consider whether to admit the truth. “I’m a little scared, but being up here with you helps.” You hope your honesty doesn’t make things awkward again.

“I’m always available whenever you need to ride a ferris wheel,” he says, trying to lighten the mood, but both of you can sense the shift. His arm brushes against yours, and you can feel his warmth radiating through the thin fabric of your sweater.

“What would I do without a friend like you,” you reply. You really are grateful to have him in your life, you’ve never been the girl with the most friends and most of the ones you have moved away from Hawkins after high school, but in this moment you can’t help but wish that you and Steve could be more than that. Your gaze drifts down again, watching the world spin beneath you, so you don’t see how his face falls slightly from your words. 

The air between you thickens with unspoken words, the gentle rocking of the ferris wheel almost amplifying the silence. You focus on the lights below, momentarily getting lost in the vibrant colors and sounds of laughter, but your mind drifts back to Steve. Thoughts of his warmth against your skin make your heart race even faster.

“Hey,” he begins, his voice slightly hesitant, forcing your attention back to him. “I was thinking about…um, going to the hayride after this. It’ll be fun, right?” He’s trying to recapture the lightness of the moment, but there’s a different edge to his tone, almost insecurity.

“Sure,” you reply, maybe a bit too fast, wanting to seem interested in his idea and hopefully get the vibe between you back on track.

He smiles at your enthusiasm, but it’s a small smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he turns his gaze back to the ground below, watching the festival swirling around. The brief flicker of uncertainty in his expression doesn’t go unnoticed by you, and it makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter even more wildly.

Once the ride ends and you both exit the cabin, the festival feels even more alive, filled with laughter, screams, and the smell of fried food wafting through the air.

The lights twinkle like the stars above, casting a gentle glow over everything, but the feeling of electric tension still lingers. Forcing a smile, you look over at Steve, hoping to read his expression. He’s glancing slightly shyly at you, scrunching his hands in his pockets again—a telltale sign of nerves.

“Let’s head to the pretzel stand first,” you suggest, wanting to ease the awkwardness. The buttery, salty scent of the pretzels wafts through the air, beckoning you. Plus, you could use a little snack to settle the butterflies.

“Yeah… great idea,” he says, looking towards you, but you break the eye contact too quickly, feeling an odd mix of courage and shyness wash over you. As you walk together, the distance between you feels both far and impossibly close. 

When you approach the stand, the line is relatively short, which is a relief. You’re both quiet as you wait in line. You order two warm, buttery pretzels, and as the vendor hands them over, Steve pays, insisting it’s his treat. You protest, arguing that you could cover your half, but he brushes you off with a simple, “no, no, I got it. I was the one who asked you out, remember?” 

You know that he didn’t mean it like that, but a small warmth spreads in your chest at the thought of this being more than just a friendly outing. You quickly push the thought aside as he hands you your pretzel, mumbling a, “thanks,” without looking him in the eyes. You know that you’re being dumb, you just wish that you could keep your feelings in check, but he looks too good in the sparkling lights, his eyes twinkling in a way that almost hurts. 

There is something about being here with him that feels so bittersweet. It’s easier to just not look at him. You take a bite of your pretzel, the salty goodness grounding you in the moment, and glance around at the festival, trying to focus on the lively atmosphere rather than the tension curling in your stomach.

 You keep eating in silence and you keep focusing on the surroundings of the fair around you, looking anywhere but at Steve besides you. You glance at the spin-the-wheel booth nearby, where a group of kids cheer excitedly as one of them wins a stuffed animal. You can’t help but envy their carefree joy and excitement. You don’t know why you have to find everything so difficult as you stand here with Steve, who was once so far out of reach.

It’s not like you want to ignore him, but suddenly you just don’t know what to say or how to act around him. Growing up, you’ve never been the one people chose, and the idea of going to a fair with a boy who you like and who is as sweet to you as Steve is overwhelming, one of those things you have romanticized, and now that you’re actually here, in a way that is so close to that teenager fantasy you had, but still not in the way you had dreamed of—with someone who just sees you as a friend and colleague.

“Are you alright?” Steve’s voice breaks through your thoughts, the hint of concern in his tone making you look up. He’s studying you closely, his brow slightly furrowed and that adorable furrow in his forehead deepening as he watches you. “You’ve been a bit quiet since the ferris wheel. Was this like… a bad idea?”

“I’m fine!” you assure him a bit too quickly, and you wince at how defensive it ends up sounding. 

“Okay…” he replies, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. It stings more than it should because you know he cares, and that makes it even harder to explain what’s going on inside your head.

You continue to walk in silence for a moment, the vibrant sounds of the festival contrasting with the uncertainty hanging in the air between you. Your heart feels heavy, torn between the joy of being with him and the fear of ruining the one precious relationship you currently have. With each step, a battle rages in your mind, and the taste of the pretzel suddenly feels stale.

“Ready for the hayride?” Steve finally asks after you’ve finished your pretzels, breaking the awkward stretch of silence that had settled between you.

“Yeah, sure,” you respond, trying to sound chill and casual, but you’re afraid it comes out sounding more like indifference. 

When you reach the hayride area, you find a rustic wooden wagon decked out with hay bales and pulled by a tractor, its engine humming softly. The laughter of children playing nearby fills your ears, and for a moment, it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted. You both hop onto the wagon, taking a seat on a hay bale amid a group of families and friends, and once again, you feel the familiar warmth of Steve beside you.

The tractor lurches forward, and you cling to the edge of your bale as the wagon bounces along the dirt path, the chill of the autumn air mingling with the warmth radiating from Steve. He adjusts his position slightly, leaning closer as the wagon sways, and the subtle change sends your heart racing.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, concern lacing his voice as the ride jostles you both slightly.

“Yeah, I’m fine—just enjoying the view,” you reply, your gaze fixed on the canopy of stars beginning to twinkle above, but your heart is still tuned to him. 

He chuckles softly, but it is a sound that feels somewhat insecure. “I mean, it’s a nice view, but… I would kind of hope you would look at me every now and then.”

Caught off guard, you turn your head to meet his gaze. There’s something in his expression—vulnerability mixed with that boyish charm—that feels disarmingly sincere.

“I’m sorry if I have read things wrong, or if you felt like you had to say yes to this because I asked you,” he continues, the usual lightness in his voice replaced with an honest sincerity that makes your heart race. “We can just forget that this was ever supposed to be a date and just hang out as friends if that's what you’d prefer.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, the world around you fades into a blur. The sound of the tractor and the laughter of kids playing in the distance become muffled as all your focus shifts to him. ‘This was supposed to be a date…’ Did he really just say that?  

Your heart races in your chest, both from the weight of his words and the vulnerability etched in his expression. You’ve always thought you could keep your feelings hidden, but now, watching him wrestle with his own insecurities, you can’t bear the thought of losing what you’ve built together over these past months.

Your breath hitches, disbelief coursing through you. “This is a date?” It feels surreal, and your mind races to catch up with your heart.

“Yeah,” he affirms, his gaze steady and sincere, each word punctuated by the thrum of your pulse. The admission hangs in the air, heavy and exhilarating.

“Oh,” you manage to breathe out, the weight of his words settling in like the leaves falling around you. Your cheeks flush, warmth flooding your entire face as you try to process what this means.

Steve seems to realize the misunderstanding, his facedeepens with a mix of hope and anxiety. “I mean, if you want it to be…” He shifts slightly, clearly feeling exposed, but the earnest look in his eyes anchors you to the moment.

You can hardly believe this, the butterflies in your stomach now performing a whole concert rather than just a cha-cha. “Sorry, I didn’t realize…” you stammer, trying to find the right words while your heart races like it’s in a sprint. “I thought we were just… hanging out as friends.”

His expression shifts slightly, a blend of relief and a hint of hurt flickering across his features.

“Shit, I should have made it clearer when I asked you out. I was pretty nervous… It’s totally okay, if you don’t feel the same, but I really hoped we could be… more than just friends. I really like you, you know?” The determination in his voice swells with sincerity, and your breath catches again, this time for an entirely different reason. His honesty floods the air around you, and for a moment, everything seems to fade—the laughter, the stars overhead, the gentle bumps of the wagon.

You can hardly process the whirlwind of emotions crashing over you like a tidal wave. “You... really like me?” The surprise in your voice is undeniable. You had convinced yourself that the interest was one-sided, a figment of your imagination conjured by the butterflies and the lingering glances.

“Yeah, I do,” he reiterates, an earnest smile breaking through his initial unease. “I didn’t want to rush anything, but spending time with you these past months has been so much fun. Back in high school I always thought you seemed so smart and cool and you know… really pretty. But I didn’t think you would be into a dumb jock like me.” His voice carries a hint of vulnerability, making you melt a little more for him.

Your heart swells at his confession, and the rush of emotions leaves you momentarily speechless. “I thought you weren’t into girls like me,” you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper, vulnerability seeping into your words.

“Girls like you?” he echoes, eyebrows knitting together in disbelief. “That’s just not true. You’re incredible. You’re smart, funny, and you’re not afraid to be yourself.” The sincerity in his voice sends a shiver down your spine, filling the gaps left by all the self-doubt that had crept in over the years.

“I… I like you too, Steve,” you admit softly, your heart pounding against your ribcage as the truth finally escapes. The world around you falls away, the crackling of the hay under your knees and the sounds from the festival merging into a blurry background.

He smiles at you, that same breathtaking smile that had made your heart race all summer long. “Really? I mean, wow. I was worried I might have stepped over the line, putting us in some weird situation,” he admits, relief washing over his features.

You shake your head, a joyful laugh bubbling up. “You could never make things weird. I just didn’t realize you felt that way. I always thought I was just... you know, the quiet girl with the crush.”

“Yeah?” He raises an eyebrow, and there’s a twinkle in his eye that feels like your own secret shared between the two of you. “Well, turns out we’ve both been a bit clueless, huh?”

You laugh, the sound bubbling up as you realize how amusing this whole situation is. “Seems like it,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief. “I never thought you even noticed me.”

“Trust me, I noticed,” he responds, the intensity of his gaze making your stomach flip. “We can take this slow, just enjoy the night, but I want you to know that I would love to be more than just friends.”

His eyes search yours for reassurance, and at that moment, amidst the laughter and lights of the festival, the world around you shifts into clarity. You both breathe deeply, holding onto this newfound connection as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

With the stars twinkling above, the tractor bumps along the path, and you can’t help but lean a little closer, feeling bolder in the warmth of his confession. “Okay,” you finally respond, your heart fluttering at the thought of all that could come next. “I mean, I’d like that.”

Steve beams, a boyish grin spreading across his face. As the tractor lumbers along, the bright lights of the festival twinkling in the distance. And then, without thinking much at all, you lean in, drawn by some instinctive need to close the distance between you. Your heart beats wildly, anticipation hanging thick in the air as you catch the scent of the autumn breeze mixed with the sweetness of caramel apples and the warmth of hay all around you. Time seems to slow as he meets you halfway, and in a heartbeat, your lips brush against his in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s sweet, electrifying, a spark that ignites every nerve ending in your body.

You hold your breath, momentarily surprised by how right it feels—like fitting the last piece of a puzzle you didn’t even know was missing. When you pull back slightly, the look in his eyes is pure wonder, the fluttering tension replaced by something warmer and deeper. 

“Wow,” he breathes, a soft laugh escaping his lips as if he can hardly believe it just happened. The smile on his face is electric, and your heart swoops at the sight of it. “That was—”

“Really nice,” you finish for him, you still feel the imprint of his lips against yours. It surprises you how natural it felt, how right—as if you had been waiting for this moment without even knowing it.

“Definitely,” he nods, his smile only getting wider as the reality of what just happened sinks in.

You chuckle lightly, your heart still racing as the aftershocks of the kiss continue to pulse through you. You lean your shoulder against his. Steve’s arm finds its way around you, pulling you a little closer, and you feel safe, excited, and thankful that tonight is unfolding in a way you never dared hope.

The wagon lurches forward again, providing a firm reminder of the bustling festival around you. You both settle into a comfortable silence, your shoulders brushing against one another, and it feels like you’re creating your own little world away from everything.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are always greatly appreciated ♡

[sswiftiestars]

Professor!anakin aaaaaaa

professor!Anakin X fem! reader

warnings: SMUT. kinda big age gap (12 years. ani is 32 you’re 20), more of a jerking off headcanon, sexting, dilf! anakin is mentioned, padmes death at birth mentioned.

a/n: idk how college works so if it doesn’t makes sense, that’s why. sorry babes :). also, i imagine him to look like a mix of clay beresford and Stephen glass in this.

not proofread

You sit in your english class, in your sophomore year of college, as your teacher, Mr. Skywalker, was speaking in the head of your class.

you often found yourself staring at his dirty brown curls a lot, instead of listening to whatever dumbass lecture he was babbling about.

You’d also think about how it’d feel if his hands were knuckle deep inside your pussy, but, you also thought about what it’d be like for his hopefully huge cock to be down your throat. you thought about it as you endlessly fucked your self with your slim fingers, whining to yourself because it wasn’t enough.

and..little did you know, so did he.

..Anakin isn’t a…romantic guy, that’s for sure. during sex, i mean. he takes what he wants. Anakin would rather face fuck a girl till she cries, rather than taking it slow and placing soft kisses on her neck.

Sure, he can do that, but he doesn’t like to.

Anakin often stayed up late at night, fucking his fist like there was no tomorrow. he usually thought of his late wife, Padme, who unfortunately passed during child birth.

but..that changed. ever since he saw you for the first time in his class..everything changed.

“y/n, are you listening to me?” your professor asked you, your class all turning their heads at you.

you felt anxiety bubble up in your head, and chest.

you clear your throat, “yes sir.” you murmur out. Anakin nodded back at you with a slight smirk before returning back to his lecture.

Your best friend smirked at you from across the room. She knew how infatuated with him you were, because you’d tell her all your unhinged thoughts about him. you rolled your eyes jokingly in response, but deep down, you knew you’d be fucking yourself thinking about that stupid smirk of his later.

When the bell rings, you pick up your stuff and right as you’re about to leave the classroom, Anakin calls out to you.

“Not so fast, Y/n. cmere.” anakin says with a slight grin on his tan and freckled face. you wasted no time and walked over to his desk and tilted your head slightly out of curiosity.

“Listen, y/n, your grades are slipping.” he reminded you, anakins face turning serious.

“I- yeah, i know..” you mutter back in response, your face turning a bit red out of embarrassment.

“Do you need to start staying after class?” Anakin cleared his throat and leaned closer to you.

“Yeah, maybe.” you said, your breath hitching ever so slightly at his request, “—but not today, i have some things i have to do.” you lied, to tell the truth, you really needed to get to your room as soon as possible so you could fuck your self silly.

he smiled, “Alright. sounds like a plan.” Anakin nodded, “i know this isn’t the most professional thing to do, but here’s my number so we can schedule a tutoring session.” he murmured with a chuckle as he handed you a post it note with his number on it.

You quickly took the post it and nodded, “Thank you, Sir.” you said as you walked out of the classroom.

Later that day, well, night now.. it was around 8:00pm when you texted your professor,“Hey! it’s y/n, just letting you know this is me, text me when you think of a day we can schedule a tutoring session next week!”

he wasted no time at all with a quick response:

“hello, y/n! i’ll make sure to let you know. Side note; start paying attention in class instead of daydreaming. it might help you out a bit.”

you rolled your eyes to yourself, “I don’t daydream. not at all.” you text back teasingly, but making sure to keep everything as normal as possible, since he was your professor, and all.

“keep talking to me like that and you’ll see what happens.”

oh.

Oh.

“is this fucker flirting with me, or am i delusional?” you say to yourself.

“i’ll talk to you however i want. over text, at least.” you respond, hoping you’d get a bold text back.

well, your dreams came true.

“I think that mouth has better uses then talking,y/n”

“Oh?” you replied, not expecting his response like that at all, “andddd what would those better uses be?” you added.

“Probably sucking my cock.” Anakin texted you, trying to ignore the absolutely huge hard on that was straining his sweatpants.

your jaw dropped to the floor and you turned bright red. why would he say that? he’s your teacher, not your boyfriend.

“that’s not very appropriate.”

“I don’t care if it’s not “appropriate”, sweetheart. You want me and i want you too.” Anakin texts you, and starts to pull his hard cock out. Before you really get the chance to reply, he sends you a photo of him palming his hard cock, leaking pre-cum from the pretty tip.

You bite your lip when you look at the photo, feeling yourself grow wet at the sight of his huge length.

“See how bad i want you?” Anakin taunts over text message.

You waste no time to quickly take off your clothes, leaving yourself in your lace bra and underwear. you take a photo of your tits and some of your hips.

You send the photo to him, and the second he sees it, Anakin immediately starts to pump his cock.

“fuckfuckfuckfuck-“ he moans, as he looks at the photo. “Gonna’ cum all over your tits-“ Anakin mutters to himself, and let’s out a little whimper. Anakin continues s to fuck his fist and after a couple more minutes, he cums on his phone screen, onto your tits.

He quickly realizes what he’s gotten himself into, and a wave of guilt washes over him.

“Fuck. i’m gonna get fired for this.”

[skelliko]

Hi Skelle! ☆ How r you? I hope you have a nice day/night! 🫶🏼 I want to request something.. my request is can you make like a full (not a mandatory) headcanons of how the guys will act if they have a crush on someone? Like how they behaviour will change, how they first meet the reader immediately think “yep, she’s the one”, where, and overall how sappy they can get when they have a crush 🥹 i would like them with baji, kazutora, chifuyu and haitani brothers.

Feel free to ignore this if you feel this is too much cause I don’t wanna stress your cute 🧠💐🎀🩷 brain 🧠💐🎀🩷

Lmao

a/n: hope this is okay, sorry for the wait. i didn't intend to make these all be in a school setting, I had tried to do some in a workplace but It's all I could think off without making it basic 😕

★-Tokyo revengers

๑-context: first interaction + how they act/feel with a crush

๑-featuring: Baji, kazutora, chifuyu, ran, rindou

°- kazutora hanemiya

-- kazutora was forced to stay behind the classroom to finish his work that he hasn't done, the teacher was sat in front of her desk doing whatever a teacher does there while everyone else but him exit out the room. however when you were on your way out you slickly slid a small, folded up piece of paper on the side of kazutora's desk which certainly didn't go unnoticed by him.

-- his eyes went right at you and watched as you walked away almost expecting you to look back at him but you didn't. to then occasionally glance at the teacher to make sure that she doesn't look up as his hand slides towards the note to carefully and quietly open it up. anything could have been written on the note but since he was so focused to not get caught his mind was blank and didn't assume anything right away.

-- the piece of paper held all the answers to the worksheet that he was supposed to complete. to avoid any suspicions from the teacher he immediately placed it flat on the desk underneath his palm to collect himself and not get too ahead of himself, I mean what if the answers are incorrect and your setting him up for longer detention? eventually he risked it and wrote down all the answers that you had given him and handed in his work. and sure enough you become a life saver there, he was able to get out of there quicker than he first anticipated.

-- eventually he came up to you "hey, thanks for the... you know. but why'd you give me 3 incorrect answers? thought you were supposed to be smart" he said it in a almost teasing way, not upset at all about the incorrect answers. but you replied with "because no one would believe you to get them all correct without being forced to do them again" and that right there is the moment that he realised what kind of smart and mischievous person you are, enough that you've captivated his thoughts for the rest of the day and onwards.

• normally he'd get pissed off when forced to stay behind in class, but now, his mind is flooded with you that he's getting stayed back more and more just so that your hand can brush over his desk and give a semi warm piece of paper that you've held safely in your palm on the way to his desk to get him out of a situation that he put himself in, it almost feels like holding your hand. are you aware of what he's doing? probably, but that won't stop him. he also keeps all the pieces of paper even tho they serve no purpose, but knowing that you were the one that gave it to him changes the perspective of those little scraps.

• he has a major urge to be around you, he's craving your presence and voice and he always feels some sort of ache is in body from just thinking about seeing you once the weekend has passed. also the same thing goes for craving your physical touch such as a tight hug or maybe even a scalp massage but he knows that won't happen any time soon but the crave is still there, it's like a maladaptive daydream.

• he also looks at you different compared to others, with you it seems like kazu is looking at an angle with gorgeous white wings and a stunning outfit, whereas with others it seems like their just ants. big difference there.

-- sure you've been in his class for a while but that was the first time you've actually interacted with each other, other than a quick eye contact from looking around the room. there's always that one classmate that you haven't talked to but once you do it changes so much more than you first intended.

• he feels his emotions to a certain extreme level and cause of this he tries to hide it as much as he can otherwise he grows too expressive without realising it. and that can easily make his feelings seem obvious if not tamed correctly. he tries to act casual despite his stomach is turned into a butterfly sanctuary, his palms are grown sweaty, and his breath is held in to get rid of the feeling of jumping about and smiling like a complete idiot. mentally hes turned into a little kid with red cheeks just because his crush smiled at him, someone give the kid an ice pop otherwise he'll overheat. no seriously he's burning up like a fever just being near you.

°- Keisuke baji

-- Baji was getting into some sort of escalating argument after school had ended, him and two guys were getting a little rowdy but because of Baji being in his nerdy disguise at the time he couldn't risk in making a scene

-- but then that's when you butt in and stand by Baji's side. it was certainly a shock to suddenly see you appear beside him and hear you verbalise your opinion and defend him like that against these two delinquents even though he could have easily defended himself despite the circumstances, he could have walked away and led them somewhere else but no, you brought yourself into the bickering before he could act on it

-- Baji was gonna speak up to cut you off and try and get you away from the slight hazardous situation but you certainly had a lot to say and that just caused him to keep quiet. were you not scared? if you weren't for yourself then he was surely scared for you. he wasn't mad at you for getting involved, instead he somewhat gained respect for you and he had to hold back in smiling.

-- though he obviously couldn't let the situation keep going so he had to quickly drop the whole argument by speaking over you and basically drag you away by your sleeve gently. his feelings didn't grow immediately right there and then but they did develop quickly over a short period of time.

• thinking of you? his cheeks are sore and he brings a hand up to his mouth to suppress it and as if to hide it even though there's no one around to hide his smile from. he doesn't know why he does that but he just does.

• if someone were to be told that baji giggles when you message him they wouldn't believe it, that whole image for them is nonexistent when it comes to Baji, wouldn't even consider it. but this man really does, he tries to stifle them and keep a calm exposure however when he's laying down on his bed he has a wide smile plastered stupidly on his face and when he feels an excited, giddy feeling he can't help but feel a small laugh escape. when he tries to hold them back it almost feels like his chest is being tightened. your suffocation him without even being there, imagine a potential news title 'baji Keisuke suffocated due to feeling giddy about a crush'

• not much of an artist, can only actually draw simple outlines of certain objects such as pain flowers or stick men, but that doesn't stop him from picking up a pen or pencil and start to doodle, nor does it stop him to have your features flash in his mind and him draw you as a stick figure or even a wobbly blob. he sometimes zones out in class when doodling and when he catches himself in drawing you he quickly scribbles it out before anyone or you sees.

°- chifuyu matsuno

-- its raining outside on a school day and you don't have an umbrella nor a hood to cover yourself so due to that you chose to stay behind in your empty classroom to wait out the rain just so you don't get soaked. you chose to stay behind and do something captivating that it even caused you to lose track of time, luckily Chifuyu walked past your classroom and saw you there, it's at least a few hours past school hours (don't ask what he's still doing here)

-- he curiously came up to you and mentioned it however even after those few hours the rain hadn't left and it was still pouring the same weight as it had at the start, and due to the sudden passed time you had no choice to head home even if it means getting drenched. but upon chifuyu hearing your reasoning, there was no way he was gonna leave you walking out in the cold rain while he had a perfectly good umbrella, even if he wanted to leave he just couldn't bring himself to.

-- so he did the first thing that came to mind and that was to try and offer his umbrella to you. at first it seemed convenient for you but then the thought of him going out in the rain with nothing bothered you, so obviously you declined. bit of "no it's fine" here and there but after some of those you both came to an agreement to share it.

-- halfway through with you both walking underneath the same umbrella and chatting away to avoid the awkward silence he walked you home without you realising, he had to turn a corner ages ago but willingly chose to stay with you since you both were having an interesting conversation. and sure enough, thump-thump-thump his heart is racing, ever since then you've been on his mind.

• he feels so much about you, butterflies in his stomach and the need to move around because if hes sat still he'd probably snap in half from the excitement that he can't handle when the thought of you appears. he can explode from the overjoy of interacting with you as if it's a rare thing to happen even though it really isn't, you're just that special. he definitely jumps around and about in his room and punches the air silently whilst trying not to cause too much noise. making a whole new cardio work out.

• whenever he's reading his manga and romance comes in he can't help but picture the two characters to be you and chifuyu. he flicks his eyes between the two characters repeatedly even if he's been on the same page for 5mins, he'd still play out the scenario of them being you two. I mean that whole first encounter almost seemed too cliché to not have come straight out of a movie with unrealistic standards. but no, it all really did happened which causes his mind to go in places that you two are almost casted together and made to talk, as if the universe is setting you both up.

• passing your classroom at any chance he gets just to try and get a glimpse at you but while doing so his heart paces like hes just ran a marathon, he hasn't even seen you yet but the anticipation is killing him. and even when it rains on school days again hes not heading straight home but instead he's making his way to your class to see if you're there again waiting for the rain to leave, always hopeful and wishing that you're empty handed without an umbrella or a hood.

°- ran haitani

-- your in an empty room scribbling something in a sketchbook, using both hard and light pencil strokes. doesn't bother ran at all that you're here doing your own little thing but what actually does is that you're sat in his usual seat. normally he wouldn't try to intervene, especially if it's something this petty plus he wasn't all that desperate to stay here for long but even then, he still walked up to you.

-- first instinct that you had when hearing his footsteps was to close your sketchbook shut before looking up, clearly you don't want no one seeing your personal work/drawings. this little thing perked ran's interest, he doesn't know much about art in the form of paper and pencil, but he's still intrigued as to why you chose to hide it that it made him forget about his petty emotion of you sitting in his seat.

-- in short term, he ended up seeing a few of your pages and the reason for it is cause you despise your own work, despite continuing drawing in your own time you seem to always criticise yourself and think harshly on them. but in his eyes he can't help but be in awe of them, he cant understand what's so bad about the drawings. next thing you know he's asking for a drawing of himself, you didn't seem too bothered by the idea as you were about your skill wondering if you could even pull it off but ran managed to convince you.

-- sitting in a chair in front of you as a muse, meeting eye contact as you looked at his features repeatedly to get the right shape of his eyes, nose and lips. him purposely moving a little to see if you'd say something about it and trying to peek over your sketchbook book to see your progress only for you to move it away out of embarrassment. it took a short while but finally seeing himself on a page in dark grey lead made him feel something, not necessarily a major attraction but appreciation even tho he's the one that pressed on the idea.

-- and that's when the butterflies hit, it's a major delayed reaction but the giddy feeling hit after being the muse and grasping the fact that you were able to draw him this well from you analysing his features, something about this made him more seen than he already is. maybe a confidence boost? who knows, even he himself can't figure it out exactly other than feeling warm from the inside out about you.

• no matter how hard he tries to relax around you he always feels blood rushing in his body making him become tense whenever you two have an interaction as small as just saying hi to each other, and once you both pass he sighs out air as if you've caught his breath and didn't let go, though he also ends up smiling after that sigh but it's more or less a mix of a nervous and happy smile, one that makes you to be unsure if you're supposed to be excited or scared.

• i reckon hes a yapper once he gets comfortable enough, anything that comes to mind he can talk and talk about it with you like his life depends on it, but once he's finished speaking he only then realises the things he's said and regrets it all even if the topics he's talked about aren't all that bad but he still gets embarrassed of himself for letting himself get carried away like that to the point where afterwards he speaks in a much shallower tone "...I don't know why I said that, ignore that" it's kinda cute tho.

• you got him twisting and turning, losing focus in certain activities and even his sight of where he's going. at some point he was walking but his eye view was so focused on you that he ended up walking into the metal, water foundation and he had to embarrassingly play it off hoping that no one had seen the doofus walk right into it as his head was turned 80° in your direction.

°- rindou haitani

-- you and him happen to share the same taste in music and favour the same band/Artist, he knew this by overhearing a conversation you had with someone and that made him perk up a little but not enough for him to engage in the conversation. he'd silently listen in to hear what your favourite song is and guess if your a hardcore fan or just a regular

-- despite rindou not being the one to come forward about the mutual interest that you both have, it was you that needed up going up to him after hearing his music escape though his earphones from how loud he set the volume to be. sure he was a little embarrassed after you mentioned it but once you both started talking about the band, something had opened him up as you talked about it with enthusiasm while he was agreeing with everything that you were saying and adding his own little comments, you were both constantly on the same page.

-- hes gained a small interest in you but not enough to catch feelings and be attached, there's plenty of people with the same interest as him and even though he can't find many it doesn't mean that you should be on top of the list. yet.

-- those previous, tamed feelings were immediately thrown out the window after hearing you sing his favourite song when you thought you were alone, he didn't mean to intrude but when he quietly walked in a room to get something he ended up hearing your voice singing along to a favoured song, you immediately became his favourite cover. your tune and enthusiasm had him captivated and stuck. he didn't get the item but instead but he stood outside of the door listening until you stopped.

• when you suddenly appear and make yourself known he gets a little spooked and drops whatever he was holding in his hands (mainly depends on what the item is, as in if it's not fragile and just a pen) its the type of scare that makes his mind go 'oh shit they're here, act cool, act cool' you can just walk into the room and when Rindou looks up to see you its like his whole body does a nervous shut down for a split second. he's normally not like that at all so when that became a common occurrence he swore he was starting to become insane.

• only you're allowed to touch his glasses or gloves or in fact anything that belongs to rindou. sure his brother is an exception but that's to be expected. if anyone else tried to touch his stuff he'd more than just swat their hand away like an annoying pest, but with you? he feels warm and giddy about you picking his glasses up and trying them on yourself, heat rushes up to his face but he always tries to act cool and casual. he just can't shake the thought that you've worn his glasses that he's wearing right now, it almost feels like getting a high five from your favourite celebrity.

• anyone would probably assume Rindou to be a little heartless from him occasionally being nonchalant around others and sure that's true enough but with you? he's flustered, cannot specify enough of it, poor man can't even go a day without his lungs constantly shifting in volume from the way you get him so nervous. he's even grown to stutter a little, not a whole lot but enough for it to be noticed once in a while and each time he looks back on the sentences he's said he always cringes at himself.

 ♡----

[g1rld1ary]

lifeguard!james potter x reader 6

prev

wc: 1785

cw: r thirsting over james, someone almost drowns (but doesn't)

me: i have a bunch of lockwood requests in the drafts and yet this is all I've been able to write lately... if anyone has any lifeguard!james requests pleaseeee send them over bc he is my favourite boy <3 ALSO just realised the last part was posted in AUGUST!! no wonder i wrote this so fast i have been missing him!!!!!

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it was stupidly hot. you weren’t usually one to complain about warm weather given england got so little, but the whole summer had been one big heatwave and it was becoming a little overwhelming. english girls weren’t made for the heat!

still, at least you had the public pool to make up for the sweltering sun, and that same underfunded public pool brought you james, so maybe everything did happen for a reason.

that brought you to the present moment, lounging on a sun chair, feeling the tan appear on your skin. lily was next to you flicking through a magazine you’d brought her from the supermarket and you were enjoying the sight of james in all his glory on duty.

you really needed to ask yourself why you could stare at him for hours doing, quite literally, nothing. you’d already seen him up in his chair plenty of times, observing the water below him, flirting with you, passing the time. and yet every time he was on shift you noticed something new. a new muscle that tantalised you, a new spot of highlight that glittered under the sun. james was simultaneously an enigma you chipped away at every day and an open book you didn’t need to; it was maddening.

you were torn from your daydreams by the lifeguard whistle piercing the air. you propped yourself up with a start, deadly curious as to what could have happened. in all your years coming to the same pool, you didn’t think you’d ever heard the whistle sound so aggressively. the most dangerous thing that had ever happened there was a few kids running around when the sign on the gate specifically prohibited it.

and yet, there was a little girl, flailing around because one of her armband floaties had popped and she was simultaneously being dragged under while one arm was stuck on the surface. you and lily watched on in horror as she struggled, hand over your mouths and reading material long forgotten.

luckily, james was onto it. in one surprisingly graceful dive, he was in the water, shooting across the pool to where the girl was struggling, all the witnesses frozen in shock or fear. he was there in an instant, scooping the girl up and bringing her to the side of the pool, hoisting her up to sit on the edge. when they were both on dry land, your surprise was doubled to see the girl was tiny, maybe five at the oldest.

james sat with her on the edge of the pool as she coughed and spluttered and spat out a bit of water, then walked her over to the tiny medical room on the edge of the facility. stillness and silence weighed over the pool for a moment before a few kids resumed their game of marco polo and life returned to normal.

“i know it’s awful that something could have happened to that girl, but now she’s safe am i wrong in saying that was super hot?” you asked lily and furrowed your brow when she laughed.

“you are so gone,” she shook her head with a smile, “but you’re not necessarily wrong.” in your defence, if you were looking strictly at james and not at the surrounding scenario, it was a pretty spectacular display. despite all his muscles, of which there were many, james was apparently light on his feet, making a dive even the olympians would respect, muscles shifting under his skin as his arms raised above his head. and then when he came up for oxygen, curls flying through the air as he shook the water off him and sparkling chlorine droplets adorned his skin. he truly looked godly; not of the same universe that everyone around you was created in.

plus, of course he was good with kids. as if that didn’t make your ovaries want to explode. james was so gentle with the little girl, rubbing her back as she got the water out of her lungs and holding her little hand as they plodded down to the medical room.

you went back to daydreaming under the sun fuelled by the new experiences you’d had, images of james and his muscles doing all sorts of nasty, delightful things. you were blissfully tanning until the squawking, rage-filled voice of an adult woman pierced through your ears up to your brain. had anyone seen her daughter? five years old, small, brown hair, pink swimsuit? you propped yourself up on your arms to watch the commotion, cringing silently as old hilda glowered, reluctantly explaining the situation.

it felt like the whole pool was silently waiting as james and the little girl emerged from inside the medical room. and while the girl waddled across to her mother like a puddle of sunshine, james was the grey cloud hovering over her.

you watched with keen interest as james and the girl’s mother engaged in a very heated discussion you couldn’t quite hear, all flailing arms and stern glares. you took advantage of the moment of his distraction, admiring the way his brow hardened as he got angry, something you’d never seen before. the glitter in his eyes was no longer mischief but rage, and his jaw clenched and unclenched like it was the only thing keeping him from yelling. maybe it was. while the whole situation was obviously very scary and tragic, your thighs were clenched for dear life as you watched the veins in his arms appear while his fists clenched. you were not going to tell lily what you were imagining about james’ hands but you were sure she could already tell.

the spat ended with the woman turning on her heel and dragging her daughter out of the facility as james stared them down, anger still radiating off of him. he stood aimlessly for a few moments and you got the impression he didn’t know what to do with all the angry energy he’d amassed. and while you had a couple of ideas, you figured hilda probably wouldn’t appreciate it on the ancient pool tiles. groaning softly, you swung yourself up and out of the plastic sun lounger, treading lightly towards him.

“hey there, baywatch. think it’s time for your lunch break yet?” james broke from his reverie to look at you, frustration still evident on his features.

“that was so — she was so —” he paused for a moment to self-soothe, “yeah, i think a break is a good idea.”

“okay,” you laughed a little, taking james’ cap off his head and putting it on your own, “you go sit with lily for a bit and i’ll be right back.” with that you took off out of the pool grounds, legging it to the supermarket down the street. nothing worth having was ever cold at the dismal pool bar.

you returned only a few minutes later with drinks in hand, approaching lily and james from behind. you could tell from their impassioned gestures they were still rehashing the earlier situation.

“an angel returns,” you announced in a sing-song voice, setting your hands on james’ shoulders. he looked up at you, visibly relaxing as he smiled. you couldn’t help but return it.

lily got the first choice of the three different beverages you’d chosen as you knew james would never complain. she took the iced tea while james chose a coca cola, leaving you with the lemonade. james reached forward to take the can as you came to sit on the edge of his lounger but you wagged your finger, cracking the top open and taking a sip.

“favour tax,” you explained, handing the drink over with a grin. james stumbled over his words as he took it, settling on just taking a sip to avoid having to come up with something witty. you hoped the red in his cheeks wasn’t just sunburn.

“so do you wanna keep talking it out or shall we distract you with our theatrics?” lily asked, clipping her hair up and off the back of her neck. james thought for a moment, head tilted to the side like a puppy.

“entertain me,” he commanded in good humour, “if i keep talking about it i’ll just stay angry all day, and who’d waste a day like that when accompanied by two beautiful ladies?” you and lily both rolled your eyes at his playful flirting, carrying on a conversation you’d started earlier in the day about neighbourhood gossip.

james’ shift ended just before sunset, when orange was just beginning to paint the sky. lily had left a half-hour earlier on household dinner duty, but you had nothing to do and knew james would be off soon enough.

you wandered down the town’s streets together, only half dressed from a day at the pool and admiring the multicoloured sunset.

“y’know everyone’ll really love you now, if they didn’t already,” you said, kicking a rock unfortunate enough to cross paths with you, “i mean, saving a little girl from drowning? that’s overachieving, even for you.” you studied james’ reaction, making sure it wasn’t too soon and you weren’t crossing lines. james, ever the ray of sunshine, just laughed heartily.

“what can i say? new kid in town has to make a good impression, especially when there are always such pretty girls hanging around to watch me on duty.”

“and who would those pretty girls be?” you asked with faux-innocence, looking up at james through your eyelashes. he looked at you as if to say you know, but then retorted anyway.

“hilda and edith are quite the silver foxes, don’t you think?”

“sure!” you laughed, “if you like wrinkly boobs down to your hips.”

“as opposed to yours!” james retaliated instantly, the widening of his eyes making it abundantly clear that he had not thought it through, but you weren’t letting him go that easily.

“which are…” you prompted, satisfied when james’ hazel eyes began flicking between your eyes and your bikini-clad chest, almost as if he couldn’t control it.

“which are… great! good? perfect? please let me stop talking,” he begged, only serving to make you giggle.

“come on, baywatch, let’s get you home. you’ve had a big day.”

“you know, sometimes i think you might even have a heart in there somewhere, pretty girl.” james slung an arm around your shoulder and you faltered under his weight, the two of you stumbling home in a mass of limbs and laughter.

would just like to clarify that there is nothing wrong with wrinkly boobs down to ur hips! all boobs r good boobs <3

[temptaetions]

angel eyes 🪽 b.cc (m)

a/n: the photo above is from stray kids' skz magic school shoot. i don’t own the media. i clearly got carried away writing this, because it's so long. however, i hope you guys enjoy it. obviously none of this is real...so does accuracy matter?

✩ spellbound secrets series m.list

✩ synopsis: you’ll think you’re in paradise, and one day you’ll find out he wears a disguise, don’t look too deep…

✩ genre: idiots to lovers | love epiphany au | teacher x student

✩ pairing: ??? b.cc x fem!compassion conjurer!reader

✩ word count: 21.6k | lowercase intended.

✩ rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

✩ warning(s): quite a few time skips. minor character death, mentions of a car accident, semi descriptive. y/n has a scar across her body (not self inflicted, how it was inflicted is not described), both y/n and chan have unresolved issues with love, chan's kind of a dick in the beginning. swearing, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of blood, y/n has a medical episode, once more horribly written smut [between b.cc x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, oral (f. receiving...he starts eating it thru the panties LOL), so much kissing, some (nude) grinding, missionary (because i'm an emotional bitch), light nipple play (clothed), crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, some biting, light choking (m. receiving), a bit of alluding to sex as 'extra credit' and subtly feeding the professor x student power dynamic]. (more information about y/n: she glows, kind of like a glowstick, and she can float around instead of walking.)

✩ what to listen to: angel eyes - abba | the chain - fleetwood mac | bodyache - purity ache | if it isn't love - new edition | cherish the day - sade

tuesday – november 02.

it's slow, the fall. it feels like liebesträume.

feeling lost is an understatement. 

he's been lost before - in grocery stores, not understanding assignments. shit, he's even been lost in the woods before. he knows what it's like to be lost, physically. he knows what it's like to not know what his emotions mean, either, so that also counts in his book.

but this? this feeling that he's just wandering the world? not knowing where his purpose lies, or what he's meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose? this is a feeling of damn near disorientation, isolation, off fucking course. it's all the same anyway. everything is the same, nearly everyday.

he wakes up, brushes his teeth. greets changbin and hyunjin at the table for breakfast, and gets ready for the day. goes to class, daydreams. he comes home, has lunch with jisung sometimes, and goes to the gym with changbin at seven-thirty. every few fridays, he'll go to one of the university baseball games, cheering on seungmin and jisung while sharing nachos with his ex-fling, sooyoung, and her best friend (who so happened to be seungmin's former girlfriend.) then, he's home again, he showers, he sleeps for a few hours.

every. single. day.

he gets bored, but reminds himself he needs to find peace in the routine. it's all he knows – he doesn't know what's keeping him here, but he's aware it's something. everyone knows it's something, but have no answers for him. he's sought after so many master sorcerers across all dimensions, begging to find an end to his equation, but to no avail.

he has no idea who he is, or what purpose he serves, and he pretends he's okay with it. he soothes by saying that not all can be known.

he pretends it's fine as he goes through his days, as he goes to class, as he talks to girls. he doesn't feel much of anything when he does these things, but the women he speaks to certainly do. they grin from ear to ear, like cheshire cats, when they get a moment to speak to the uncertainty that is bang chan.

but, it's fine. he's fine, it's really not a big deal.

he's in his last year of grad school, hoping to just bury himself in his studies to stop the feeling of impending doom. normally, you open up shop right after undergrad. you offer your services, barter for goods, sometimes get paid in a goat and two chickens instead of money. so many of his friends have already done so, relishing in the satisfaction that is being a sorcerer and mastering their craft. 

what the fuck is he supposed to do? study until his fingers fall off and his brain becomes putty?

"i dunno, man. you could become a genius." jisung spoke around a mouthful of blueberries, and chan grimaced. "what? i'm bulking up!" shaking his head, chan closed his notebook. shoving it into his bookbag, he sighs. "i don't think i want to know everything there is to know, ji."

"doesn't knowing everything you need to know, start with knowing yourself?" minho teases from across the table, winking at jisung over his coffee cup. the younger boy nearly chokes, getting a whack across the back to aid in not seeing god. "don't flirt with him, he'll have an aneurysm." "hey!" jisung sputters, but the three of them know it's true. how jisung was the campus' playboy, no one would ever know. chan didn't even know if jisung could read when they first met. "you know it's true, ji. i gotta head out, i have a night class this semester with professor y/l/n, i finally got my schedule fixed. changbin is going to hate me because i'm going to miss the gym every tuesday and thursday." chan groans as he swings his bag over his shoulder, and the two men watch as he slides his headphones on, walking out of the library.

he's insufferable lately, and they don't know why. they assume he needs to kiss someone, preferably sooner rather than later.

"you think the poor guy knows what he's in for?" minho mumbles, closing his textbook. jisung shakes his head, popping another blueberry in his mouth. "i hear she's ruthless. i mean, if i was an anomalistic prodigy with gorgeous thighs like hers, i would be, too." "shut up, you can't even kill spiders."

your classroom is surprisingly cozy as he strolls in. the lights are dimmed, and there are blankets draped across many chairs. he looks around, spotting a green couch in the back. raising his eyebrows, he makes a beeline for it, hearing other people start to trickle in.

setting up his laptop on the table before him, he lets his eyes wander.

the walls are plastered with entomology posters, and he scrunches his nose as he sees a taxidermied praying mantis on your desk. he remembers what you said in your speech at your commencement ceremony – "the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide. a guide for those who needed direction, and my god, have i needed it. life truly does go on and i am further amazed by how deeply it fills me with joy to stand here before you. the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide, and i am so honored to be the mantis that prays for you."

you were the university's little treat, their trophy to parade. their only compassion conjurer and possessor of the will to practice benevolent magic. you cared of nothing more but to help those around you, you never said no. you never denied yourself to be utilized to find peace. he admired you, but not really. it was twisted, but he thinks you should…help yourself. he believes you should be selfish, at least once in a while.

he didn't really know you, but he hadn't expected to, either. you seemed like you were constantly on the go. you floated about, sort of like a ghost. your hands often clasped behind your back, a warm golden glow surrounding you. he'd heard from some people that they've seen it change color, but he never has.

but again, he didn't know you.

"chan!"

the voice whips him out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see yugyeom. he smiles, reaching his hand out for a dap from his oldest friend. "hey! how have you been? still on the baseball team?" "nah, i quit after i started dating doyeon. apparently, she has quite the track record with the team." he whistles, pulling out his laptop as he slides on the couch. "you quit the team for a girl?" chan questions, and yugyeom gives him a shy smile.

"she's not just any girl, chan. i think…she could be the one." he shrugs, a blush coating his cheeks as chan bumps his shoulder. "aww, that's so gross."

"shut up. what happened with you and sooyoung? did you guys break it off?" yugyeom takes a sip of his water, and chan nods as he sees more people walk in and take their seats. "yeah, we stopped fucking around. i wasn't as emotionally invested as she was, and i felt awful for it but we ended on good terms. i'm just not ready for a relationship and i should have made that clear. that was months ago, though, and we're fine." he shrugs, and feels an odd shiver down his spine. he shakes it off, continuing the casual conversation with yugyeom.

the door opens, and they both stop talking to look up. you're floating in gracefully, dark hair framing your face, a few scattered gold strands sprouting at the crown of your head. a bit like a halo, really. long, wine red nails reach for the light switch, dimming the lights even lower.

"good evening, everyone. eyes up front, please." your voice is softer than at your ceremony, but just as confident. you're looking around, your glow dimming lightly as your eyes stop in his direction. chan's eyes flicker to yugyeom, who is smiling at his phone, thumbs typing rapid fire. shaking his head, he looks up at you, your gaze on yugyeom. chan bumps his foot, and his head shoots up. your eyes are slightly amused, "you're paying for this class. i suggest you pay attention." "sorry." he slides his phone in his jacket, and chan bites back a laugh as he clicks his pen. smiling, you redirect your attention. "welcome to identity theory! i'm professor y/l/n, but you guys can call me y/n. you might already know me, as i'm the university's only compassion conjurer, and that is exactly why i'm teaching this class." you hold up the syllabus, and begin walking around to pass them out.

"this is an extension course to the one you took in undergrad, self-discovery 101. here, we are going to further delve into ourselves, and figure out who we are outside of our powers, or what purpose they serve. i like to focus on eudaimonic theory, but if you guys have any others you want to talk about, i'm open for discussion. i also want to apologize for starting the class so late in the year. i promise the workload isn't much, i was just having a hard time deciding if i wanted to teach this class. i wouldn't be doing much soul searching with you guys, i'm already the trophy wife of the administration."

he likes your voice. it's smooth, unwavering even as you apologize and joke, even as you let your feet touch the ground. he feels his chest grow hot as you graze everyone's table with your fingers, a soft chatter beginning amongst the students. he's not nervous, but you're very commanding. he likes the way you grab attention, despite it now seemingly about to be directed to someone in the room.

"your eyes are very pretty." you stop in front of him, and the class grows quiet. you look down at him, the soft light around you a little brighter. he feels his cheeks flush, as he nods in confusion. "do they glow brighter the more i make you nervous?" you tease, and he looks away.

"cute." you slide his syllabus in front of him, and he takes it with a soft thank you.

his eyes were the only thing that gave him that something that people always mentioned. they swirled, every now and again, the brown glowing slightly violet at their own will. nobody knew what it was, but it seemed to take your interest. you move forward with the lecture, not even attempting to hide the subtle boredom in your voice as you go over the syllabus.

"i will see you all on thursday! have a safe night!" you cheer, and the students seem to bask in your happiness as you let them out of the room. you float about, and catch chan at the tail end of the gaggle of students. "you, pretty eyes."

his headphones are in the way, and you place your hand on his arm. his skin is warm to the touch, and he jumps at the contact before turning around, sliding them off. "oh, i'm sorry. did you need me?" "i just wanted to say, i hope my teasing didn't make you uncomfortable. sometimes it just slips out." you smile, and you notice one..two dimples make their presence on his cheeks. "don't worry, it's alright. is that all?" "no, actually." you hold up his file, and he seems to know exactly what's coming. "i don't know my abilities, if that's what you're going to ask. and i won't answer any questions about my parents, that's also in there."

his eyes hold something heavy, and you notice your glow dim as he speaks. if he does, he doesn't mention it. "alright, then i guess that's it. i'm sorry if i disturbed some emotional blockage." your brows furrow lightly, and he raises his own.

"whatever." he mumbles, and slides his headphones back on. he walks away, and you feel your lips tug into a frown. you wonder what his problem is as you walk back into your classroom, sliding the file into your desk drawer.

"you try and make a classroom a home." 

thursday – november 12.

from: yln.yn@spellbound.edu

hello, chan. this is professor y/l/n. i noticed you didn't show up to class last thursday, tuesday, or tonight.

i took it upon myself to look into your file again, with permission from the administration. i want to apologize for the sudden hot seat on tuesday after class, i was unaware of your situation and just wanted some insight. i can see how this made you uncomfortable, and i am sorry for causing said discomfort. i want you to be able to enjoy my class, and hopefully we can traverse that journey together.

that being said, i have come up with a new assignment for you, for the time being. since you don't really know what your specialties are, i can't grade based on performance or any papers delving into how they affect your life, personality, etc.

below is the rubric designed for this assignment. i spoke to the administration, and they're on board with this approach. if anything is too much, please don't hesitate to send me an email, or a text. my number is also below. have a good weekend!

signed,

y/n y/l/n

identity theory

spellbound institute of magic

psychology department

555-8212

he's been staring at this email for the last half hour. he even let hyunjin read over it, asking if he was seeing shit.

he'd skipped your class on thursday, and today. he didn't want to see you, so he avoided the psych hall altogether. he didn't really know how to feel as he switched tabs to the rubric you'd sent, essentially just saying you wanted an essay on how he's been coping with not being sure of his path in life.

how does he feel about it? does it bother him, and if he could pick, which abilities would he pick? his brain says the ability to never see you again, but his heart pangs as he rereads the postscript at the bottom of your email.

p.s. i am once again very sorry. i hope to see you in class on thursday, channie. - y/n

channie. ugh, his heart ached. he'd been so rude.

"you're thinking too hard." changbin sings from the living room, and chan sighs. "how would you know? you can't read minds." he rolls his eyes, shutting his laptop. changbin walks into the dining room, leaning over the back of a chair. "i know that look. the furrowed brows, the pout. you're thinking way too hard about this, and it was an honest mistake on your professor's part. you need to apologize, you grumpy bitch." "yeah, i don't really think it's a huge deal, either." hyunjin chimes in from the kitchen, and chan frowns. "you guys think i'm being overdramatic?" "i think your emotional repression is getting to you, you've been so insufferable lately. when's the last time you got laid?" hyunjin teases as he slides into a chair, and changbin wiggles his brows in agreement. "ugh, don't even." chan slumps his head against the wall. maybe seven months? he has a lot of pent up frustration. maybe not enough to write about his feelings and how annoyed it made him that you were digging into his life this early into him meeting you. what did you need to know, anyway? "isn't your professor that compassion conjurer paradigm? i heard the speech she gave at the convention last year, and i saw the photos. she's gorgeous, that glow around her all the time?" changbin whistles smoothly, and chan's stomach does a flip. he also saw the photos, but couldn't bring himself to think anything of them. he barely remembers watching your speech, too, but he certainly remembers the way your hips swayed as you walked off the stage.

he grimaces, feeling a bit gross at ogling you.

"she's fine." he shrugs, and changbin gives hyunjin a knowing look. "so, she's hot and you're into her. that's why she has you so worked up."

"i beg your finest fucking pardon, seo?" chan blinks, and hyunjin smirks. "then beg, channie. i'm sure professor y/l/n would like it if you did, she seems like the type. get on some dating apps, man. you need stress relief." chan scoffs, shoving his laptop into his backpack. "i'll be in my room, if you decide to stop talking about romancing my professor."

hyunjin and changbin snicker as chan storms off, his door slamming behind him as he flops onto his bed. sure, you were…okay. okay, you're hot. you're so fucking hot.

but, he doesn't like you. he doesn't like that you put him on the spot, and he doesn't like that you intended to ask so many personal questions right off the bat. he also doesn't like that his roommates are probably right – he probably is angry because he needs to get laid.

he groans into his pillow, fishing his phone out of his pocket. he unlocks it, opening the stupid app. "spellbound soulmates, how dumb." he mutters, unpausing his profile. he goes through it, updating photos and prompts. once he's satisfied, he goes to his deck.

left. left. left. left. right. right. left. left.

y/n, 26

compassion conjurer, benevolence magic

biography: sexy as fuck by day, sexy psych prof by night. everything you've heard is true.

interests: if your ass is phat, swipe right 🥵

his eyes widen, your smiling face staring back at him. scrolling through your profile, he sees mostly modest photos – you holding a tray of shots being the most scandalous. not a sliver of skin showing above your waist, but plenty of short skirts showing off your full thighs. you're smiling in every photo, but he can't think of anything except your lips parted, your thighs around his head. moaning his name.

alright, chris. he thinks. chill the fuck out.

he contemplates it for a bit, scrolling up and down your profile when he just shakes his head, closing the app and tossing his phone to the side. he flips onto his back, letting the pillow close around his ears.

he hates to admit it, because he doesn't know you. he doesn't dislike you, per say. but he's not very fond of your subtle insistence.

it's not necessarily your fault, but he really doesn't like talking about his family, especially his parents. only his friends know, and even then, it took all of four years to even bring it up. the fact that they're humans is a huge deal, and he can't risk their safety like that.

not to mention, admissions begged him to keep it a secret. they were toeing the line, chan being the third person in the university's history to have human parents. they knew about the world of magic, but didn't really have the abilities to take care of chan the way it was necessary.

so they didn't. they sent him to boarding school from a young age, and made it a point to frequently visit him. he sees them at least four times a year, but it's never enough time. he feels like he's missing a place to call home. 

he feels so alone.

it's not your fault. and he knows he needs to apologize. he just has too much pride right now.

he hears a knock, and changbin opens the door. "hey, what are you doing? i'm going to the gym, want to come with?" chan sighs, before forcing himself out of bed.

tuesday – november 17.

he's sitting on your couch today.

legs spread, hair tucked under a cap. black, like the rest of his clothes. he looks relaxed, his fingers dancing across his laptop as yugyeom shows him something on his phone. he just nods, and you can't make out what his lips say. 

you'd been feeling terrible about the events of last week, and hadn't gotten so much as an email from him. not about the assignment, not about how he clearly hates you, or even addressing your apology. you didn't understand him, but you don't know him, either.

the past three classes, you'd gotten to know your students. minnie, soyeon and shuhua were your favorite (and only) group, giggling in the corner over their laptops. they were all herbomancers, and you could tell simply based on how giggly they were. they chatted, and last thursday, shuhua was so high she just sat against her chair and stared into the abyss. you found it a little funny, when soyeon and minnie would have to drag her out of your class.

mingyu was a constant flirt, and you attributed it to his matchmaking expertise. he was one of the few cupidancers on campus, and you'd seen him about before. he had the ability to entrance people, to get them high off his attention, and you often saw girls with hearts in their eyes after speaking to him. it was quite the sight, to see someone emotionally orgasm. the fact that you were his professor didn't stop him from smiling at you, making suggestive comments, overall trying to weasel into your heart. you simply played his game, making him flustered.

yugyeom was too enthralled with his phone, and his girlfriend, to complete the assignments. the fact that minnie had slid eighty dollars his way told you his spirit weaving ways were some for the books – and so did minnie – as she rambled about a party at beta tau that past weekend. "you should come sometime, y/n. you'd get so wasted but it'd be so worth it."

you liked that they felt so at ease with you, speaking to you like you were nothing special. you liked being their age, being able to relate to the crazy parties and not worry about how you'd get home the morning after. you enjoyed the intimacy of the small class, but not the coldness surrounding who you would deem your most intriguing student.

he just sits there and he looks so nice. the slope of his neck, the way his fingers bounce on the keys of his laptop. the sheen of his lips from the cherry lip balm he applies three or four times over the two hours of your class. the way your hue almost changes from gold to pink from staring at him, and you know you catch some of their eyes as it tries.

"why do you glow, y/n?" you can hear minnie's hazy voice from the back of the room, and you feel yourself a bit dimmer than usual as you fight down the feelings of lust. "i actually don't know. the master sorcerers never told me, but i know it can be several different colors. care to ask me what they mean?" you wiggle your brows, and minnie giggles.

"pink means you're turned on, huh?" mingyu calls from his seat between shuhua and soyeon, earning a smack from both of them. you chuckle as he pouts, "what? i hooked up with a compassion conjurer last year in the second dimension, forgive me for assuming." "i thought you were bitchless, gyu? what a nice surprise, loverboy." shuhua teases, and mingyu just rolls his eyes. "well, he's not wrong."

their heads whip back to you, and you're purposely glowing gold. you're glad they don't make it weird, their eyes full of glee. "i know those sex flashbacks gotta be good, y/n." minnie giggles, and sighs dreamily. "i once got one in undergrad during the ochem final. i ran out of time and failed."

you laugh, floating closer to their table. "the colors mean a lot of things. i can also change them at will, if one isn't overpowering the other. the hues and brightness also amplify how i feel, which makes it really hard to hide any of my thoughts. for example," you pause, closing your eyes. you feel the warmth of blue overtake you, and hear a soft ooh. 

opening your eyes, you give a quick spin. "blue means i'm sad, disappointed, or at ease. i rarely get this one, it usually happens when i'm with my closest friends and can act on impulse."

the quartet looks amazed as you continue to change colors, explaining them slowly.

green, for envy, and disgust. you also rarely turn this color, and it is amongst the most dim that you've ever been. pink, for lust. you say it's your favorite color, but not your favorite feeling. orange for anger, and you recall that you only turned this color when in your mother's presence, and that you hated this one. silver, for remembrance and emptiness, and they don't require an explanation as the light grows brighter, your face deepening in sadness before you shake your head.

you exhale, before letting the cold of indigo overtake you. they gasp, and you feel shivers rack your body before you can finally speak.

"this is the only one i don't understand. i can make it seem darker, too." you say calmly, eyeing the dimness of it. it glowed almost like a blacklight, and at your will, it turned a deep violet, lining your extremities in black pixels. "have you ever felt it before?" soyeon pops a piece of gum in her mouth, offering a piece to you. taking one gently, you shrug as you unwrap it.

"nope. this one feels cold, though. the others feel warmer, like a blanket. this is like, sub-zero temperatures." you slide the piece into your mouth, feeling your golden glow return as you speak. "that's so cool, though. thank you for sharing." shuhua is gazing at you, fondness riddled in her eyes. you feel your cheeks heat, as you smile.

"my pleasure. class is over in twenty minutes, so wrap up whatever it is you're doing and i might let you guys dip out early." you nod at them, floating in the direction of yugyeom and chan. looking up from your gum wrapper, you see chan looking at you intently, his eyes slightly swirling with that same violet glow from tuesday.

"hey, pretty eyes. so kind of you to grace us with your presence today." your teasing makes him grimace, a hint of annoyance flashing through his eyes. "paying for the class, might as well pay attention." he mutters, echoing the first words you said to yugyeom.

your brows furrow at his attitude, and you watch yugyeom slip away, beckoned by minnie with a piece of pink paper. chan glances at you, closing his laptop and shoving it in his bag with indignance. "why are you acting like this? i already apologized." you feel your glow flash orange, before feeling the soft tinge of blue creeping up your back. his eyes are still violet, but they've softened. "i'm just trying to help you, chan."

"i don't think you can help, when you're part of the problem." he mumbles, his gaze never moving from your eyes. you sense blue creeping up your neck, and succumb to it, letting it blaze. "how disappointing, for a teacher to try and aid you in finding your path of life." your annoyance is visible as you spin, directing your attention to the gaggle of students watching your interaction. soyeon's eyes are wide as you dismiss them, asking them to please let the door close instead of leaving it propped open.

the words aren't even out of your mouth when you hear the door slam, yugyeom pitiful eyes confirming your thoughts. they begin to stand up, heading for the door when yugyeom splits from them, circling back to you.

"don't worry about chan. he's being a dick, it's not your fault." he places a hand on your shoulder, and you give him a sad smile. "i know, yug. i know."

a soft squeeze to your shoulder and he's gone, you're alone in your room. you sigh deeply, letting the most overwhelming hue of all take over.

the same dark red you felt all those years ago, letting it overwhelm you entirely. you sink into your desk chair, letting the soft burn of grief sink into your skin. you can close your eyes and still see it, the wine color in front of you. the one that matches your nails, and on occasion, your lipstick. the one that makes you ache the most, and yearn for those who are no longer here.

you miss him.

just like you miss chan's wide eyes, not having heard the creak of the wooden door in your turmoil. he slips away.

— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —

later that night, you're sitting in your bathtub, letting the hot water relax your muscles. you hear your phone ping, and you reach for it.

from: bangchan@spellbound.edu

hello, professor y/l/n. i have read your email a few times since it was sent.

i accept your apology. i also accept this assignment, and will submit it as my final project grade, as per the rubric allows.

that being said, i will not be in class on thursday due to a prior commitment. feel free to email me back with any questions you may have, only those regarding the assignment will be answered.

signed,

bang christopher chan

spellbound institute of magic

general magic

you glare at the email, and let orange flicker like the light of your limoncello candle. you made no effort to question it, simply letting it slide. you send back an automated reply, sounds good! have a good weekend.

thursday – november 19.

chan hated meeting his parents in secret.

like it were a crime, to want to see them. he hated acting like it didn’t bother him that his siblings were growing up and he didn’t know them, he didn’t know what they liked, or what they did for fun. he felt so left out of everything, but still framed the photos they sent him. he still tucked their letters in a box for safe keeping, he still yearned to be loved by them.

not that they didn’t love him, but obviously it’s hard to do so from a distance. so they sit in the middle of the forest that surrounds the university, exactly 50 miles from all civilization. they sit there, for hours, and catch up.

“any luck yet?” his father peers at chan over a steaming plate of food, and he shakes his head. “no answers yet. if i don’t find out before the end of the semester, the master sorcerers said they’d figure something out.”

his mother sighs, her spoon stirring the canteen that held her warm coffee. "it'll be alright soon, channie. have you focused on other things? maybe find a nice girl to settle down with?" his father watches as chan visibly tenses, before pulling his wife close. "jagi, maybe that's for another time." she grimaces.

"i disagree. if he's having issues with other parts of his life, he needs to put it on the back burner for a second and figure out other parts. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? the goal of life is to not let one bad thing, or one disappointing moment deter you from finding the answer to your qualms." she rolls her eyes, earning a smile from her husband.

"okay, she has a point." his father relents, and chan just shakes his head. "i'm not ready for a relationship.' "what about that girl, sooyoung?" his mother won't back down and he knows that. "moving on from my love life, i'm content. i'm fine with things, i have my friends, i have my studies. i'll get an answer eventually." he shrugs, trying not to let it show how much it gets to him.

"chan." she slides her arm across the picnic table, grasping his hand gently. "you're not happy. you can't possibly be, with all the turmoil you feel. you're like an angsty teenager who has never stepped outside his room." "yeah, well. life goes on." he mutters, and she feels her heart sink as he pulls his hand away, checking the time on his watch. "i think i'd better start heading back. i have an early day tomorrow." he's lying. they know it, but they begrudgingly allow him to bid them goodbye. they watch him 

walk to his car, and flash his hi-beams as a final farewell before pulling off.

thursday - november 26.

it's been about a month since chan started taking your class. 

and it's been about a month since he's been able to say a single word to you without the same tone of indignance on the tip of his tongue. seeing him look indifferent in the back of your classroom made it all the better, though, because at least now he was in class. he didn't speak to you unless you spoke to him first, but he was on time and attentive.

you liked something about him, but you didn't really know what. it's quite possible you just have a little lustful wishing for him, but it felt…weird. it felt strange, you could practically feel your skin on fire every time you glanced at him, catching his eyes every once in a while. he never held the gaze for longer than a few seconds. 

as for his violet eyes, you hadn't seen them since. you saw him smile with yugyeom. you've heard him laugh, the sound so sweet to your ears. you hated that your glow was so evident when his giggle resounded in the classroom.

you thought nobody noticed, the students didn't treat you any differently than their own friends. soyeon, minnie and shuhua made it a point to start inviting you out to drinks, and mingyu flirted with you relentlessly. you simply took the interactions in stride, and smiled politely as you kept the lectures going.

but tonight? chan wasn't in class (again) so you didn't have anyone to fawn over. mingyu was front and center, and the girls gathered around him as they conspired amongst themselves. they weren't very secretive, and you could hear them giggling as you floated over.

"what's the joke? i want to laugh, too." you teased with a soft smile, and mingyu flashed you his pearly whites before turning his phone at you.

message from: doyeon

[9:03pm] hey mingyu! tell yug i'm waiting for him at the party, and bring the girls with you!

[9:04pm] see if you can convince your professor to come, too 👀 i've seen her and she's hot! maybe she can take eunwoo off our hands, i'm sick of him moping over jisoo

you chuckle, your glow brightening a bit. "you guys want me to go to a party, at a frat house, on a school night?" shuhua nods her head, a giggle falling from her lips. "c'mon, y/n! live a little, there's going to be so many cute boys there." 

"yeah, y/n! plus, a little bird told me a certain purple eyed boy will be there." minnie wiggles her brows at you, and you smirk. "yeah? chan skipped my class for a party?" you glance at his empty spot on the couch, your glow dimming.

"c'mon, y/n. we all know you have the hots for him." mingyu says matter-of-factly, and you laugh. "i do not! he doesn't even speak in class, i don't know anything about him." you shrug, and mingyu smirks. "i've seen the way you look at him!" minnie chimes in, and you shake your head. "so what if you don't? he's hot and you're into that. he has nice muscles, i've seen him at the gym." mingyu sounds like he's trying to convince you, and you give him a smile before patting his shoulder. his cheeks tinge as you whisper, "are they as nice as yours?" soyeon teases mingyu as you float away, and their words stay with you as the class continues for another forty minutes. you type away at your desk as you bid them goodbye, but don't miss minnie sneaking away from her group to hand you a piece of pink paper.

"the address, in case you do want to see chan tonight." she slides it across the desk, a shy smile playing on her lips as she walks away. you glance at it, grimacing at the beta tau seal.

you sigh, pulling your phone to map the walk there from your apartment, receiving a text from your friend, jihyo.

message from: jihyo <3

[9:55pm] hey, you! come with me to a party, i want to scout for booty tonight 👀 i heard beta tau is having one

message to: jihyo <3

[9:57pm] funnily enough, i was about to text you, i got an invite. captain booty reporting for duty 🫡 wear something hot!

— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —

the party was already in full swing when you and jihyo arrived, pinkies linked. it was apparently a student's birthday party, a short stop on the baseball team. you didn't keep up with the university's sports, but managed to snag a piece of birthday cake in a cup (meaning you dumped the rest of the pink whitney into your cup, and a splash of lemonade) as you let jihyo roam.

"y/n, you made it! you look so hot." you hear minnie from behind you, and you swirl to see her holding onto mingyu. "hey, guys! sick party, my friend jihyo also wanted to come." you shrug, taking a sip from your cup, and minnie gives you a knowing smile.

"hey, don't worry about it. lover boy hasn't kissed anyone since he's been here." minnie moves her head in the direction behind you, and you twist to see chan holding a red solo cup and talking to another student, short with wire rimmed glasses, and a waist you could only dream of. you turn back to minnie, who just winks at you before pulling mingyu away with her.

your body twists to look at chan, trailing your eyes down his figure. he's got on a white muscle tee, and mingyu had not been lying about his body at all. his chest donned what seems to be a rosary, nestled between his pecs that bounced lightly as he laughed. a sliver of his lower stomach was visible, mostly covered by a jacket he likely took off, but the red on the lapels looked good against his skin. silver hoops looped through his lobes and if you didn't sink your teeth into him soon, you were going to combust.

you don't have a crush on chan. not in the slightest. but, you're not blind.

you decided to worm your way to the bathroom, but you didn't realize his friend had spotted you staring. nor that chan's eyes were on you now, wondering what you were doing at a party on a school night, in that short black skirt and soft, flimsy blouse – with no bra. his eyes roll, asking himself why you manage to torture him this way. your coat is long, and covers most of your thighs as you walk away. he winces at the twitch of his cock against his pants.

"professor! what are you doing here!" you hear yugyeom shout from across the room, eliciting a woo from all the people at the party. you smile, and hold up your cup. "hey, yug!"

he waves you over, and you oblige, downing the rest of your drink. "here, try this! i made it." he holds up a long, brown bottle – and you smirk, letting him pour it into your mouth. a bunch of students are watching you down this burning liquor without a second thought, a low whistle emitting from one in particular.

tall, handsome. nicely chiseled face, hair slicked back. barely dressed. slutty.

not chan.

"who invited the trophy wife of the administration? that was hot as fuck." he leans on soyeon, who huffs and shoves him off. "shut up, san."

minnie screams before you can answer. "i invited her! she's cool as fuck, drinks up and tits out for professor y/l/n! wooo!" the crowd that had formed around you took their drinks, a few girls flashing their breasts at you. you let a laugh rip through you when you spot jihyo smiling at you in the crowd before knocking back the rest of her drink. you point to the hallway, signaling you're going to continue your way to a bathroom, before you suffocate on the smell of buchanan's and cheap beer.

the house gets quieter the deeper you go, aside from soft moans coming from a linen closet, obscene wet noises making you shiver as you turn left, finding a clean bathroom. you leave the door slightly ajar as you splash cool water on your cheeks. you let it drip through your lashes before you grab for the toilet roll, only to see someone slip into the bathroom in the mirror. 

"hey." chan's voice is low as you pat the toilet paper on your face, and you glance at him. "hey. skipped my class for a party, huh?" "what are you doing here?" he doesn't sound upset, moreso amused. his eyes shamelessly rake up your legs, and you give a snort in reply. "minnie invited me, and my friend jihyo wanted to scope out some ass." 

"yeah?" his eyes flicker to yours in the mirror, the violet swirl evident, and you feel your thighs clench in his gaze. your glow starts to change hues, and you roll your eyes as you glow pink instead of your normal yellow. "yeah. why, channie? are you here looking for babes?" you turn, letting the liquor talk as you lean against the sink.

"would it bother you if i was?" he tilts his head, sort of like a lost puppy. you smirk, shaking your head. "why would it bother me if my student wants to get some?" "do you always play this little game with your students, professor?" he takes a step closer, and you curse yourself for glowing a little brighter, but shrug as nonchalantly as you can. "beats being uptight like professor callaghan."

"god, you're so right." he chuckles, before his hands cage you in between his body and the sink. "i bet this glow thing gets really annoying, huh?" "you have no idea." you look up into his eyes, subconsciously tucking your bottom lip under your teeth. you wonder why he’s not questioning the color change, maybe he just knows, maybe he was listening last week. you wonder how many girls he’s gotten with, and how many he’s romanced with those angel eyes of his. "you look good." he says gently, almost as if he's giving you an out. almost as if, he's nervous.

"i taste good, too." you mumble, ghosting your lips over his. you can feel your skin start to singe, but you let him kiss you anyway. you let him lift you onto the sink, parting your legs to stand between them. you let him run his hands up your plush thighs, leaning into the kiss as deep as you can without completely absorbing him.

“can’t you get in trouble for this?” chan doesn’t really care, to be honest. you can tell he doesn’t as he drags his lips down your neck, his fingers tugging your skirt up gently. “hmm, no. not me, anyway. trophy wife of the administration privileges.” 

he laughs against your skin, and you give him a cheeky smile as he kisses your lips again, his thumbs gently working circles into your hips. “i don’t want to do this here. let’s find a room, yeah?” "mmm, i don't think so. students who don't participate in class don't get extra credit." you pout, patting his chest when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

message from: jihyo <3

[11:47pm] saw you dip with cutie, so i cozied up to that mingyu guy

[11:48pm] going back to his, u can get home safe?

[11:49pm] i'll turn around if u can't. bros before hoes 💪🏻

message to: jihyo <3

[11:51pm] go ahead <3 txt me deets l8r he's a massive flirt lol

you slide it back into your pocket, and chan's hands leave your skin. he quietly moves your skirt back into place, and his eyes flicker to meet yours. he doesn't look upset at your rejection, moreso a bit grateful. "you're cute. you ask too many questions, and i'm still upset with you, but you're incredibly cute."

it's just the liquor talking. he won't remember any of this, or change his behavior by tuesday. he seems to hold grudges, but you know it's really just emotional blockage. nothing you can't help with, but everything he won't let you help with.

"maybe come to class and i might let you cum in me. you'd like that, wouldn't you?" you mumble against his lips, a shiver going through his spine. "let me walk you home." he murmurs, nuzzling his nose against yours. you feel your stomach flip, the gesture so cute you just might let him sleep with you. you capture his lips again, sliding your hand up his chest, fingers softly wrapped at the base of his neck. his hand catches your wrist, sliding it higher.

you give it a soft squeeze as you slither your tongue into his mouth, drawing a soft groan from him. he pulls back, your lips chasing after him as he raises an eyebrow. "who's needy now, huh?" "shut up, let's go." you place a peck to his cheek, and you force your glow back to gold, albeit dimmer than normal. he has his hand on the small of your back as you exit the bathroom. he slides it around your waist, his fingers softly digging into your hip before he stops dead in his tracks. "what?"

you're whispering as you follow his eyes, seeing a blond guy in a baseball jersey staring back at him as he sneaks out of the closet you passed. a girl is gripping his hand, floating behind him. the guy turns on his heels, quickly weaving his way through the people crowding the hall, the girl giving a hazy smile as he drags her through.

"in a closet? really?" he shakes his head, and you feel his hand squeeze your waist. "sorry." "no worries. could've been us if you showed up to class." you tease as he guides you through the crowd, and you spot minnie watching you sneak your way through the people. she wiggles her eyebrows, and you just shake your head as chan opens the front door, letting you out first as he grabs his jacket from his friend.

"shit, it's colder than a witch's tits out here." you chatter, and chan quickly joins you on the porch, sliding the jacket over his arms. "it really is. which way do you live?" the walk is quiet, besides the leaves crunching under your shoes. he's close enough that his cologne meets your nose, but not close enough to where you can touch him and not be overdoing it. the taste of his lips was not enough to satiate you.

"why are you so mean to me?" you ask, not daring to look at him. he hums in response, before grabbing your shoulders, swinging his arm over you. you instinctively wrap your own around his waist, your fingers brushing the same sliver of skin you'd eyed earlier that night. you're burning up against him, and he welcomes the heat as your hips bump.

"i'm normally not this uptight." he starts, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "i don't like answering questions about my personal life, much less my abilities. or lack thereof, rather. it was too soon when you asked, i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm very lost in that area of my life, and if i don't find out soon, i'm not sure how i'll make a living. please don't think i'm only this way with you, i'm just feeling stuck. it's like i'm running out of time." you take in his words, nodding silently. you know your magic is taking over him as he speaks, because you feel your glow dimming more and more as you keep walking. "i don't know what that feels like, chan. i'm sorry, genuinely. i truly do want you to understand that i am here to help as much as i can, not just as a professor but as…a friend, i guess." "mmh, i don't think you can help." he squeezes your arm gently as you make a left turn. "i'm too far gone, i believe. i thought about what you said, the emotional blockage thing. and i know that you're using your fingers to seep your funky little magic into me so i talk about myself and get things moving for your peace of mind." his fingers pat yours lingering on his hip, and you sheepishly go to move them.

he holds them in place, as you guide him to the gate of your complex. "i don't mind talking to you, or answering your questions. i really, really admire you as a person and sorceress. the selflessness, you're one of the kindest people i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. you just have to give me some time to warm up to you."

he stops in front of the gate, letting you punch in the code before sliding his arm off your shoulders. "i want to apologize for my behavior. i know i've been increasingly bitchy and standoffish, i'm just stressed. i'm sorry, and i'm sorry for taking it out on you. i know you're just trying to help."

"won't you come in? it's rather late and i'd hate to have you walk back alone." your eyes are slightly pleading, and he raises a brow. "are you sure?" 

you shrug, holding the gate open. he walks past you, not comfortable enough to slide his arm over you once more. he feels the warmth of you as you float past, and he follows quietly. unlocking the door, his eyes peer into your apartment, and it's just like your classroom. 

the lights are dimmed, and your couch is the same velvety green. it smells like bambinella pear and bergamot, and your walls are littered with photos and articles. many of them penned by you, he notices, as he skims them. "feel at home?" you chuckle, and he hears the rustling of your coat as you slip it off.

"mhm, it smells nice in here." he nods as he continues observing articles, before bumping into your side table. he looks down and sees a newspaper from seven years ago, a smiling face staring back at him.

spellbound prodigy involved in an automobile accident puts the world of wizardry at risk.

he skims the paper, seeing your name repeated over and over again but yet, no mention of the person in the photo. no age, no name.

"oh, you found that?" you're behind him, and you take hold of the paper, letting it droop over your hands. "who is that?" you sigh, your fingernail tracing the man's face. "minhwi. he was my best friend from primary school until the summer of 2017. that's when the accident happened." setting the paper back down, you pat the picture before floating to the kitchen, your golden glow gone as it begins to turn dark red.

"it's grief, the hue." you wave your hand at yourself as chan leans against the island, his eyes softening as you pour water in a glass, sliding it to him. the color dims as you turn to him, sitting on the bar stool. "i know, you're wondering how i'm involved in the accident."

chan looks down, and you let out an airy chuckle. "god, i hate talking about this." you rub your thighs, before looking up. "he told me he was in love with someone, and i encouraged him to make the hour drive to see her. i even offered to tag along, even though it was into the human world."

you're nervous, and chan can feel it. he rounds the island, sliding onto the stool beside you. you twist to face him as he takes your hands in his. how cute, you think.

"there was a really bad thunderstorm, but minhwi literally used to race cars for money. rain or shine, he was an expert behind the wheel. he won so many, and i was there for almost all of them. he called me his biggest cheerleader." chan's thumb wipes at your face, and you hadn't even known you were crying. you feel your chest ache as his hand lingers, before dropping back to your lap. "lightning struck one of the oak trees lining the backway route into town. minhwi tried to swerve out of the way, and we wound up spinning out. the tree landed on the car, and the weight crushed us, and there was glass everywhere. he died on impact."

you sniffle, and chan's eyes are glossy as he clears his throat. "and you blame yourself?" "absolutely." nodding, you interlace your fingers with chan's. "and the fact that i survived and he didn't, it kills me inside. it's not like he would've been able to, he was a…" you trail off, and chan's eyes match yours in size.

"...he was human." he finished, and you can't look at him. "you exposed the world of magic and our practices, to a human." you stay silent, before his arms envelope you in a hug. the burn you feel is almost debilitating, but you feel blue crawling up your neck as he rubs your back softly. "i'm sorry for your loss, y/n."

"that's it?" you blurt, and he laughs against your neck like he did earlier. "yeah, it's not like i can judge you, and it's not like humans don't know we exist. we're just frowned upon, it's not a crime to involve yourself with them. love makes us do crazy things." he pulls back, and you let blue overtake you. "i'm genuinely sorry about your friend. he sounds like he was a great time." "he was. i haven't talked about him since. all i have left is the scars from the accident." you shrug, taking a sip of your water. "scars?"

you flash a smile at him, before shaking your head. "just know, if i ever do let you in my pants, the shirt stays on, not because i'm insecure but because i hate looking at them."

he nods, a shy look crossing his eyes before he closes them. "can i ask you for a favor? before you go to bed, i mean?" "sure, anything." you tuck your hair behind your ears, sitting up. "that emotional blockage you spoke about, you can…remove that, right? i'm not too sure what your powers are." he mumbles as he picks at his nails, and you smile. "i can. would you like me to do that for you?" his eyes look to yours, and you see fear flash through them. "it doesn't hurt, channie. come on, i can do it right now." you slide off the stool, holding your hand out to him. he takes your hand, but instead of following you, he pulls you towards him.

your chest is flush to his, and you see a subtle blush on his cheeks as he dips his head, lips brushing against yours. you relax in his hold, letting your lips mold against his. you can't feel anything but heat and his tongue teasing yours, but it's no big deal (you're trying to convince yourself at this point.) his hands move to hold your face, his fingers burning your skin when he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours.

"not tonight, i don't think i'm ready." he whispers against your lips, and you open your eyes to look into his hazy ones. nodding, you press another chaste kiss on his mouth. "whenever you're ready, channie. i'll be here."

"i'll take the couch." he plants one last kiss on your forehead, and you nod. "if you insist. goodnight, channie." "goodnight, y/n." he watches your glowing form trail down the hall, likely towards your bedroom.

and he sees a hint of indigo spreading across your back as you shut the door behind you.

tuesday – december 15.

chan is a lot nicer as the next two weeks go by. still shows up to class, even early, since your escapade after the party. he finds himself staring at you more often than not, and you're not the only one who notices.

minnie often slips you knowing looks, and you find yourself growing shy as you look to see chan peeking at you over his laptop, eyes glowing that bright violet you've come to adore.

"alright, everybody. have a good weekend!" you smile cheerfully as they file out, your glow now bright blue. the girls had mentioned you looked much more relaxed these days, and you attributed it to 'more sleep.'

you didn't really know what it was. you'd woken up glowing indigo the day after the party, and almost everyday after that. you flickered indigo when you caught chan in the hallway before class on tuesday, and when he hung back a little too long on thursday. really, if you even glanced at chan, you'd flash the dark color and leave the students rubbing at their eyes.

chan, on the other hand, was constantly looking for ways to talk to you.

he saw the flustered flickering, the confusion of your body as it glitched from hue to hue. at one point you had splotches of indigo, pink and your natural gold all over you. you still flirted back at mingyu's advances, albeit he calmed down noticeably. he observed that mingyu was on his phone more often, and you later found out through minnie that he was utterly romanced by jihyo. you thought it funny, and teased him about it (and jihyo, the next time you saw her for coffee and pastries.)

"hey, can we talk?" chan is standing behind you as you wave off your students, and you jump at the closeness. "sure, channie. what's up? is this about your final project?"

it wasn't an unreasonable question. the semester was coming to an end, the students looked visibly stressed and you hadn't heard of any parties since.

but, you knew it was unreasonable for your situation with chan. you never missed his longing glances at your lips, or the fact that he was early to class. his friends changbin and jisung often trailed behind him as he walked to class, and he only introduced you to them because they wouldn't stop badgering him at the doorway. "she's even prettier up close," jisung had said dreamily, and you just gave him a soft smile as you watched him bump into the doorframe.

"not really? maybe." he rubs his neck, and you tilt your head. "what's going on?" 

"uh, i think i'm ready. for what we talked about…the night of the party." he swallows thickly, and you feel taken aback. "oh? what brought this on?" you float to the back, patting the same couch he sits in during class. you tuck your legs under you, holding your head up with the wall. his knees brush yours as he sits, and you wince at the heat you feel in your chest.

"i started the essay you assigned last night." he can't look at you, and you find your stomach to grow increasingly tight. "yeah?" "i can't write anything. i have six drafts already, and i feel so overwhelmed." he's nibbling on his lip, almost as though not to cry. you lean closer, his eyes glassy as they meet yours. frowning, your hand finds home on his jaw, your thumb wiping a few fallen tears. "i'm here, i can help. we can do it here." 

you get up, moving the tables back towards the walls. he watches you as you move, and your back is splotched with indigo. he still doesn't know what it means, but you shiver as it creeps up your neck. your hand flies to your nape, rubbing your skin. it dissipates, returning to your golden glow.

"need an open space. are you sure?" you motion for him to join you in the center of the room, and he nods. you can already feel the same heat on your skin as he settles in front of you, and the same eerie cold of indigo on your shoulders. you huff, sliding your cardigan onto the floor and rolling up your sleeves. "i have to touch your skin for this, okay? and don't worry about anything else, just keep your eyes on me." he's nervous as he lets you take his shaky hands, a soft pout on your lips as you close your eyes. "i got you, okay? i won't let anything hurt you, you're strong." you're muttering, but he finds comfort in your words. he's sure you say this to everybody.

until you start glowing a blinding blaze of indigo, your face scrunched, wincing as the room cools significantly. you're brighter than he's ever seen, possibly brighter than the fluorescent lights that line the university halls. your grimace grows as you furrow your brows deeply, the glow around you seemingly like a flame. he just watches silently as you drop one of his hands.

"can you lift your shirt for me?" your voice is strangled. your eyes are screwed shut, and he quickly does so, your hand trembling as it makes contact. your skin feels like it's on fire, and you don't know what's happening that you can only hear ringing. you'd never felt anything this intensely, but you persist as your hand palms around his torso, before reaching the center. you splay your fingers, pressing into his skin. 

you flash green for a second, so quick he almost misses it.

sliding your hand up his chest, you find the base of his throat. a sigh slips through your lips, and you pull him closer. placing his hand on your waist before moving yours in his hair. you flash slightly pink as he slips his other hand on your hip, his fingers digging into your skin. 

"this might feel a little cold." you murmur, and you dim entirely. the glow around you is now gone, a soft grey floating off you. it runs to the floor, like sand, and forms different grainy figures. kind of like…sandcastles. you open your eyes, despite the damn near inferno heat where your skin meets his.

"these are all your blockages." you pull his shirt down, and move his hands from your hips. to your right, is a grainy woman that splits into several more women. next to her, are two figures, who seem to disappear into another figure, a forest. you skirt around him, holding him in place with a hand on his hip. behind him, is another figure.

shaped kind of like you. your thighs, your arms, your hair.

"what…do they mean?" you're snapped out of your process by his voice, and you sigh. "this one…channie, you have to find better coping mechanisms. sleeping with women for stress relief is not good for you. i know it feels good, but there are other things you can do. ever tried puzzles?"

you sink to the floor, pulling him with you. you move the figures next to each other in front of you, the sand-like texture sticking to your skin. gesturing to the women, you keep talking.

"casual sex is awful, when you compare it to relationship sex. shit, even hate sex. at least you feel something other than lust for the person you're fucking." you grimace, and he nods. with a wave of your hand, the sand collapses. "these next three…you can pick which you want first." he glances at them, his hand subconsciously searching for yours. you grab it, and he points at the two people. you let your skin burn as you begin to talk, his fingers tightening around your palm. "these…are your parents, and the forest around the university." the room stills, and chan lets go of your hand. "what about them?" "you're afraid they're not proud of you. you feel like you're missing out on your experiences with them, because…" you wince as an aftershock racks your body, making you shiver. you miss chan's nervous glance. "because they're distant. you feel like an outcast from your family, and it affects the way you form bonds here. it's hard for you to build friendships, and it's hard for you to establish relationships because you fear being loved. or maybe loving, and not being loved back"

taking a breath, you pull your knees to your chest.

"the forest is representative of your lost feeling. all the trees look the same, and it makes you feel like you're constantly going in circles. everyone here is identical, we all have something special. you find it hard to relate because although you know there is something that makes you like us, you're unaware of what it is." he nods, and you let the figures drop.

"this one…" you're mumbling, and he leans slightly closer to hear you. sighing, you pull the figure of you closer. raising your arm, the figure raises her arm. "that's me." his head snaps to look at you, your eyes burning holes into the floor. you glance at the figure, collapsing it. all the figures pool together, and you lean forward, blowing it like you would dust off a bookshelf. it disappears, and chan leans back on his hands.

"what about you?" he murmurs, and you shake your head, moving to lie through your teeth. "i don't know." "you're lying." you feel your glow return, flickering gold. "y/n, tell me what it means." "i can't." you shrug, "i don't know what it means. did this help? do you feel better?"

he's peering at you, his eyes swirling violet. you raise a brow as you look at him over your shoulder, and he just shakes his head. getting up, he stalks back to the couch. you watch as he shoves his arms into his hoodie, and you simply get up, floating towards your desk.

he grabs your arm, pulling you closer to him. you sense the frost of indigo across your mid-back. you turn his hold, eyes glued to his fingers wrapped around your arm. "why?"

"hm?" "why can't you tell me?" his eyes are insistent in their violet glory. chills run down your back, indigo spreading over your hips as you run your eyes over him. he's so beautiful. "because…i can't reciprocate."

he doesn't understand, you can tell as he keeps looking at you. kind of like he wants to eat you alive, but also like he wants you to vanish.

"it means you're in love with me, or you will be. you don't like the idea of it, because it means you'll have to open up to me. that kind of…figure doesn't change, even if you want it to. you won't get the option to leave me out of your heart, and it will be unrequited for the rest of our lives. you will love me, forever, and you won't get a say in it." he lets go, brows furrowed, and his face is deep red in embarrassment. you take a step forward, and your hands instinctively reach for his waist. he allows it as he crosses his arms across his chest, his eyes fixated on you, waiting for you to speak.

"i can't love, chan." you whisper, and feel indigo overwhelm you. pursing your lips, you look down so as to not let him see the tears forming. "trust me when i say i wish i could. i wish i could love you, the way you deserve. i could wake up every morning and reach for you, but you would never be there because i can't give you what you need." the tears are dripping off your face now, pattering on the rug beneath your feet. you let go of him, your fingers tugging your shirt up, slipping it over your head. your hair falls to your shoulders, and you push it back, dropping your shirt on your desk. his eyes soften as he looks at the curve of the wide scar – like an insignia, it's carved into your skin. it starts on your shoulder, curving around it the way a fallen bra strap would. it trails down your sternum, before splitting at your diaphragm. a sharp point ends right under your left breast, while the other curves to the right of your belly button, ending on your hip.

"there is nothing i could do in this world that could ever get me in trouble, because i have this." speaking softly, you lift the cup of your bra, showing him where x marks the spot – directly above your heart. "the coven said this was my punishment for minhwi's involvement in this world, and the outrage i sparked. i can't feel love, and i haven't for so long that even if i did, i wouldn't know what it's like. i won't ever feel what it's like to be loved again, because i don't deserve it."

chan's eyes are glossed over as he brings his hand to your skin, the singe making you grimace as his fingers trace the border lightly. he tucks his lip in his teeth as he touches your shoulder, and your glow flickers slightly brighter. he pulls you in, burying his nose in your hair. "everyone deserves love. this is not your fault, i'm sorry things happened this way." you pull back, his eyes glistening with tears as he thumbs the scar on your shoulder. you give him a sad smile, shrugging in his hold. "it's life. life goes on, but for what it's worth…if i could, i'm sure you'd take great care of me."

"i still can." he says, reaching for your shirt. "i'm a pleaser, really. reciprocation has never been an issue." 

"are you seriously making a pass at me? after i just told you all of that? have some shame." you let an airy chuckle slip through your lips as you take your shirt from him, and he just smiles. one, two dimples. "not being able to love doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to cum. just saying." you gasp, landing a gentle smack on his arm before sliding your shirt on. "chan, stop it! what did i say about casual sex, hm?" pointing an accusatory finger in his direction, he cages you between your desk and his firm chest. "didn't we just talk about this? you know it's not casual." you know it's not casual.

"just once, think about yourself, yeah? do yourself a favor." he places a chaste kiss on your nose, and you feel your cheeks heat as he peppers his lips over them. you let a giggle bubble in your throat, his lips stopping over your lips. "just think about it." he gives your lips a quick kiss, before pulling back.

"it's late, let me walk you home?" he offers a gentle look in his eyes. you just nod, grabbing your purse from the back of your desk. you decide you'll move the tables back on thursday, sliding your cardigan up your arms. "aren't you cold?" he asks, sliding his arm over your shoulders like he did the night of the party, as you lock the classroom door.

"no, actually. i don't know if you feel it, but every time you touch me, i feel like i'm on fire." you chuckle lightly as you start walking, and his breath hitches. glancing at him, he just moves the two of you forward. "chan?" "mhm?" he doesn't look at you, and you stop walking. crossing your arms, he sighs. "it's not a big deal." he shrugs, trying to shake the subject by tugging you slightly closer. you frown, wrapping your arms around his waist. your eyes are fixed on him, and he can't help but coo.

"you're so pretty." he squishes your face with his free hand, and continues walking forward. "does it bother you?" you ask, your fingers drumming on his hip. the air is so frigid, and so is indigo as it fights chan's warmth. you just have to let me warm up to you.

he did so awfully fast.

"does what bother me?" he's tracing circles in your shoulder, the movement scorching. he seems so relaxed, so unperturbed by anything. you'd never seen his face so calm, used to the furrow of his brows or the bags under his eyes darker than they should be. "the fact that i won't be able to love you back." he chuckles, fingers squeezing your shoulder. "i'm used to it, as pathetic as it sounds. love is not my forte, or for the people around me. jisung is surprisingly able to get into almost anyone's pants, and can't settle down for shit. changbin is sickeningly in love with his best friend, and do you remember that guy we saw at the party? the one sneaking out of the closet?" 

you nod, and he laughs. "that's seungmin. that girl he was with, they broke up back in august. they've been fucking around ever since. if they're both at a party, they're hooking up. can't seem to stay away from each other, in a desperate attempt to stay on each other's minds, i guess? it's cute, i think." he shrugs. you feel your heart skip a beat, looking  down to see a white glow on your chest. you ignore it, probably glowing silver as you feel the emptiness, the longing to understand what he means.

"so no. it doesn't bother me, it never will. you get used to it."

it pains you a bit, to hear him sound so…well, used to it. so accustomed to settlement, so unbothered by a lack of reciprocation. selfless, really.

wednesday – december 16.

chan wound up spending the night at your apartment. he insisted on taking the couch before you physically pulled him into your room. the moment his back hit the mattress, he ate his words as you tickled him, forcing him to admit that it was more comfortable.

really, you'd just wanted an excuse to wake up next to him. maybe see his bed head, run your fingers through it, exchange a morning kiss. all of that stupid couple shit that you would never fully experience.

because love makes you do stupid things, like spin out on a backroad and die. so you don't deserve to feel it, and really, it keeps you safe. you have no idea what it's like to love anymore and you pretend you're okay with it. you soothe by saying that not all can be felt, not all that can be desired should be had.

but fuck, if you didn't like chan before, you certainly do now.

there's no reason for this. for him standing in your living room, holding a cup of coffee as he reads through the articles you've written and framed. for him to look so cute in your old abba shirt that's too tight on his arms, for his eyes to be swollen with sleep as he blinks over the mug. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects. on you, on the people in his life.

"you're up." his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you feel your cheeks heat as you nod. "your hair is a mess. here, let me fix it." 

he sets down his cup, calmly running his hand through your mussed hair. the curls fight him as he tucks them behind your ears, his fingers lingering on your lobes as you stare at him. your indigo glow reflects on his skin, his head tilted as he speaks. "what? cat got your tongue, professor?"

your mouth opens to retort, but you have nothing to say. nothing comes out. you feel orange flicker through you as you close your mouth, earning a squeaky laugh from the man in front of you. "cute. there's coffee in the kitchen, i just made it." 

he doesn't have morning classes on wednesdays, you figure as he follows you to the kitchen. because it's eleven thirty and he's still in your apartment, in your shirt, with his hands on your waist, and you don't care one bit as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"are you upset? you haven't said a word." his thumbs work into the small of your back, and you shudder at his touch, before you shake your head. "i'm not used to having people here so early." "it's nearly noon, y/n." he laughs airily, his breath tickling your neck. "still, so early." 

you try and ignore the heat in your chest, far stronger than it had ever been before as his fingers carefully dip below the waistband of your sweats, coming out just as quickly. "you weren't in bed when i woke up." you're muttering, but his proximity makes him hear you anyway.

"aw, did you want to wake up in my arms like they do in the movies?" he's teasing you. you scoff in embarrassment, eyes not catching the subtle white glow on your chest as you turn in his hold. "no way, pft. i like spreading my limbs like a starfish, you were crowding me all night." "hey, i offered to take the couch." he shrugs, and you just shake your head. "should've insisted a little more, then i wouldn't have felt so cold when i realized you weren't there." you joke as you set down your cup, and he raises a brow. "didn't think it would bother you, but that can be fixed." "chan–" you squeal as he hooks his arms under your thighs, your own flying to his shoulders. your legs wrap around his waist as he marches the both of you to your bedroom. "chan, don't you have classes today?" "don't you?" he kisses your forehead gently as he sets you down on your bed, pushing you back lightly. you roll your eyes, trying to hide your excitement as he slips under your duvet. he tugs you closer, your back to his chest. if he cares about the scorching heat of your skin touching, he doesn't mention it as he settles his head in the crook of your neck, reaching to intertwine your fingers with his. he holds your hand tightly, nestling it between your breasts. "if you wanted to touch my boobs, you could've just asked." "shut up, let me hold you. be selfish, for once." he nips at your earlobe, and you sigh. tender kisses trail your neck, and you can feel pink creeping down your thighs as he gives your hand a squeeze. "is this okay?"

"mhm." you can't speak as he lets go of your hand, fingers dancing across the exposed skin of your hip where your shirt has ridden up. he doesn't go up, but instead softly dips into the waistband of your sweats, snapping your underwear against your skin. a whine slips, and you freeze as he pauses. "should i stop?" his voice is raspy in your ear, and your hand grabs his wrist, bringing it lower. "it's alright. you can keep going. f-further, if you want."

you curse yourself at the stutter, hearing a soft chuckle in his throat as his fingers pad over the fabric of your panties. your breath hitches in your throat as he circles the wet spot you've been presented with, a shaky sigh escaping chan as he rocks against you. you feel pink envelope in its warmth as you turn onto your back, holding his hand in place as you capture his lips. he kisses you back fervently, his fingers never stopping their movements on your clothed heat. 

"c-can you…" you whimper against his lips, his hand never slowing as you move against it, brows furrowed. he watches as you try to form words, your eyes screwed shut as your hand tugs his away. "can you go d-down on me?" barely a whisper as you peel your eyes open, and he swears they hold the stars.

"i'd kill a man if you asked me." he shrugs, and you just roll your eyes. tugging your sweats off, he gets a glimpse of the way your panties stick to your lower lips, his heart racing in his chest knowing he's got you soaking.

he could make you cum with them on. he's positive.

spreading your thighs slowly, he watches as you hook your thumbs into the waistband. he pushes your hands away, not bothering to address your confusion as he holds them in place, sinking between your legs. he can't help but tease, dragging his soft lips up your skin, watching you shudder at the contact. he moves to grip your hips, your shirt rising and the end of your scar becoming visible. his eyes flicker to yours, "shirt stays on, right?"

"y-yeah." you look away, and he rubs your hip reassuringly. "s'alright, baby. i can make you cum just like this, if you want."

it's not a question, you can tell as he kisses the pink cotton of your panties. he has no intention of taking them off, he might not even fuck you, but you don't care. all that matters are his eyes peering into your fucking soul as he dips his head down, a chaste kiss pressed to your hip. he trails down, hands circling your plush thighs as he litters them with kisses. your eyes are watching him nervously, lip tucked under your teeth to stop the soft pants from echoing the room. you feel like you can't breathe as he pulls you closer to his face, pressing that strong nose into you, inhaling deeply. "you smell so fucking good, baby." he's not even doing anything, but the vibrations of his moan against you elicit a whimper from your throat, making you buck your hips forward. his grip tightens as he nuzzles his nose against your clit, placing a soft kiss on it before he speaks against it.

"be nice, or i'll make you scream." he smiles into your underwear, tonguing your clit through the fabric. he watches as your glow grows brighter, pulling you impossibly closer. he's letting you grind on his face, to use him for your pleasure, and you'd be lying if that doesn't make you that much more wet for him. "y-you don't want to take them off?"

your stuttering is adorable to him, and the way your fingers card through his hair and tug adds to his own pleasure. shaking his head, he snaps the waistband against you again, "you're so needy, aren't you? can't get off just like this?" "channie, p-please. please, i want your f-fingers." he hums against your clit, continuing his cruel lapping, the sound of your pussy against his face obscene and sloppy. "you can beg better than that. tell me how bad you want it, baby." "w-want it so bad, channie, please. please, i'll be g-good for you, p-promise. s-so good." you're almost sobbing, and he almost feels bad. a gentle laugh leaves his throat as he thumbs your slit, leaving sticky strings against his skin as he gives in. "so good? so, so good for me? is that right?" he slides the flimsy fabric down your legs, the exposure to the cool air making you shiver. he's watching your face contort as he collects your arousal on his fingers, before slowly teasing your entrance. "i swear to god, chan-" your retort gets cut off by a gasp, his fingers hitting just right, his lips sucking tortuously on your clit. he likes it messy, is all you can think in your fucked out state as you coat his entire hand in your slick, feeling him groan against your pussy.

"look at you, so pretty. you're a good girl for me, right? you're gonna soak the sheets, hm?" he feels you clamp around his fingers, another wave of your arousal glazing his palm as you sob. "fuck, you sound so hot." "c-channie..." you rasp, your voice so low he almost misses it. he peers at you over your soft tummy, your lips swollen and covered in your spit from biting back your moans. you're actively whining, grinding against his hand in a weak attempt at reaching your release. "aw, baby wants to cum? is that it?"

you whimper, making him curl his fingers inside your wet heat. he seemed to have found the perfect spot as you arched your back off the bed, attempting to pull away from him. his left arm holds you tightly in place, your fingers clutching his wrist as your choked moan rings blissfully in his ears. your thighs close around him, his soft shh doing nothing to quiet you down as you let your orgasm wrack your legs. his lips pepper kisses all over your pelvis, mumbles of praises as he works his way up. 

he hovers over your face, pressing his soft lips on your cheek. you wrap your arms around his neck, shivering at the way his fingers pinch your clothed nipple lightly. "you can give me one more, right? just one more, princess." he's murmuring against your skin, and you nod as he reaches your lips. 

"just one more?" you nip at his lower lip, before sinking in to kiss him. "just one. want to feel you around me, want to know how good i'm making you feel." you realize it's important to chan, despite what he said the night before. he wanted to be praised, he wanted to make somebody proud, even if this was the only way he felt he could do it. he could act like he's this statue, this emotionless, needless creature of nature – but he also desired approval, to be needed, to be wanted.

to be loved.

you don't say anything as you let his hands push your knees to your chest, his lips now suckling on your nipple through your shirt. your hands move to his head, pushing it away as you go to slip it off. his hands let go of your legs, entwining your fingers with his brows furrowed. "you don't have to." "i want to." you quip back quickly, tugging your fingers out of his grasp. you hook them at the hem of your shirt, lightly lifting off the bed to slide it off. he hesitates, his eyes tracing the curves of the raised skin. the way it glows lightly, almost as though it's losing its defined edges.

his eyes flicker to yours, your gaze intently scanning his face. did you think he'd be disgusted? maybe even repulsed? lowering his head, he brushed a kiss to your lips, before he allowed himself to sink to your chest. you breathed in nervously, your fingers gripping the sheets next to your body when you felt his mouth planting feather-light touches to your scar.

he can feel your skin heat under his face, the more he travels along the healed welt. the glow is slightly brighter than your overall pink, as you shudder under him, his hands pulling your fingers into his, the crumpled sheets forgotten as he pins your arms above your head.

"you're so beautiful. gorgeous, ethereal. no words could express how lovely you are." he whispers as he presses one final kiss where x marks the spot, and you jolt lightly at the singe you feel. it spreads, the whole insignia across your torso burning deeply as he moves back. his eyes are flashing with something you can't read. "chan…" "sorry." he shakes his head, his thumbs rubbing circles into your hands. you tilt your head at him, before glancing at his body, a smile spreading on your plump lips. "are you going to fuck me with all your clothes on?"

"i can." he smiles, and you raise an eyebrow. "off, all of it." 

standing off the side of your bed, he tugs your old abba shirt off, and you watch with sinful eyes as he flings it away. "stop staring at me." he whispers, and you shake your head playfully. "you said you'd kill a man if i asked, and gave me the best head of my life, but i can't watch you strip?" 

"the best, huh?" he ignores everything else he slips his sweats off, pulling your hips to the edge of the bed. "don't get cocky, or this won't count as extra c-credit." your eyes peer at him, the leaking head of his thick cock already teasing your folds lightly. his hands circle your legs once more, pulling one over his shoulder while folding the other close to your chest. he stares at your soaked cunt, the way it clenches around nothing. so inviting, so wet, so ready for him.

"that's alright, let's count it as the first class i missed. what was it, getting to know me? ask me something." he continues his teasing, watching as you squirm against him. "uhm, o-okay. what's your favorite color?"

"really?" he rubs against you lightly, his tip dragging over your clit so menacingly, you swear you could cum from just that. "hm, i like black." "black is an ab-absence of color, fuck." you dig your nails into your thighs as he shallowly thrusts into you, the lack of warning wracking a shudder up your spine. "mm, if you can't keep talking there's going to be an absence of dick in about two seconds."

"n-no, no please. shit, that feels so good." you can't keep your eyes open as he slowly sinks further into you, stilling his movements as you tuck your lip into your teeth. "ah, ah. eyes open, keep talking to me." his fingers lightly tap your cheek, your skin burning in embarrassment as you peel your eyes open. "next question, baby." "b-biggest accomplishment so f-far?" you swallow thickly as his hips are flush against your ass, allowing you to adjust to the size of him before making any more movements. he leans his head against your ankle, brows furrowed as he speaks. "probably making you cum so hard, you cry." you narrow your eyes as you look at him, "you h-haven't, though?" "but i will." he kisses your shin, giving an experimental thrust of his hips. your eyes flutter shut, a silent gasp from your lips turning to soft mewls as he starts a gentle pace. "next question." "d-do you believe in love at first s-sight?" you feel him hesitate, before he gives you a particularly harsh thrust. "somewhat." he rubs your thigh gently before continuing his brutal ministrations. "harder, please." silently, he obliges, letting your breathy moans fill his ears instead of talking. he hates talking, he hates answering questions, but he can't help and adore the tone of your voice, the softness of your queries, the avoidance in answering his.

"you feel so good, channie, holy shit." he can feel you clenching tightly around him, but lets your praise take precedence. the way you're arching your back off the mattress, hairline lined with beads of sweat as you let him fuck into you, just the way you like. the way you seem to love, as he lowers to whisper in your ear. "next question."

the proximity makes everything feel like it's a thousand degrees, your hands flying to his hair as he sucks on your collarbone lightly. "favorite s-song? ah!' you hiss at his teeth on your skin, feeling his grin against you.

"your voice." his thrusts are slowly becoming less steady, but you don't care. you don't care because his skin is scorching hot, he's holding you to him, you can feel the air of his pants against your neck and he feels so good.

there's no reason for this. for him to be blissfully ruining you while holding you flush to his chest, your nipples touching with every roll of his hips. for him to look so good while he defiles you, the way you're not even speaking coherently in his ear. for your soul to feel like it's aching for more of him, but how much more could you have when you can't love him. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects, on you, as the white-hot of your orgasm starts approaching fast.

"i…" you feel a sob rip through you, and he instinctively pulls away from you. "hey, hey. it's alright, baby." guilt fills his chest, his hands holding your face as the tears stream down your cheeks. "it's alright, we don't have to–" pushing yourself up on your elbows, you smash your lips to his, feeling yourself glow so hot you're practically on fire. it's all teeth and tongue, and you're wrapping your fingers around his throat before he can react. squeezing gently, he whines into your mouth, his hips snapping erratically against you. you swallow his sounds in your quiet sobs, the tears dripping down your neck doing nothing to cool you down. 

"y/n…" he whines pitifully against your lips, and you can feel his pout emerge as you clench around him. he settles his face in the crook of your neck, cheeks flushed. "p-please don't stop, don't stop, e-ever…" you're just as needy as he is, throwing your head back as he bites at your shoulders, your hand on his throat tightening as he sends you over the edge.

"fuck, baby." the whimper into your shoulder does nothing good for him as you clench around him, milking whatever is left of him, hips driving you both into overstimulation. he slows, his head lifting from your shoulder to peer into your eyes. you avoid them, letting go of his throat and wiping them off with the back of your hand.

the room feels heavy, with guilt. shame. maybe even a bit of hatred, but you’re not entirely sure as he kisses you gently, chastely, before pulling back. his eyes hold the sun, the stars, the moon.

"guess you got your biggest accomplishment, huh?" you chuckle thickly, and he shakes his head, pulling out slowly. his eyes avert to your center, watching his cum drip out of you slowly. he feels weird, it's such a waste. "are you okay? i should've asked sooner, i'm sorry." "no, no. it was…it was really good." you admit, feeling your glow flicker. you close your legs, scooting up on the bed as he reaches for your shirt, you cross your arms over your chest, fingers digging into your sides. "i really liked it, actually." "are you sure?" he's absent, you can tell as he wipes the back of your legs gently, before tossing the shirt over his shoulder. "i'm sorry for crying, i know it was really sudden. i just felt so overwhelmed and you felt so good, and i…" you trail off, and he feels his cheeks heat, shaking his head again. "no, it's fine. that was the goal, after all. i…do you want me to go?" your brows furrow, and you tilt your head. "go? why would i want you to go?" he shrugs, not meeting your eyes as he tugs on his sweatpants. "i don't know, i usually leave after…things like this." "what happened to 'you know it's not casual?'" you use air quotes, and you see his cheeks burn bright red. "i…i don't think i'd be able to do this, especially after what we talked about yesterday."

"do…what? we just had sex, it's not a big deal." you uncross your arms, ignoring your blatant nudity as he slips your abba shirt to you, taking it just to toss it to the side. "...act like i don’t care. i really, really like you, y/n, and i already feel so guilty about this." he can't look at you as he slips his hoodie on, the one you'd thrown over your desk chair last night when he said it was too hot to wear to bed.

you close your mouth, pressing your lips into a firm line as you grab the shirt, tugging it over your head. "i figured this would happen. maybe you should go, chan. clear your head, and we can talk later."

your brows are furrowed as you open your bedroom door, and he swallows thickly. he knew what he was getting himself into, so why does it bother him now? he said he wouldn't care, he said it so confidently.

and yet, he can't bring himself to say a word as he slams out of your apartment, eyes full of tears. leaving you feeling dejected, guilty and alone.

thursday – december 17.

it wasn't until the next day that you noticed it was significantly smaller.

it didn't curve under your breast anymore, the subtle x on your skin gone. it didn't wrap around your shoulder anymore, and it stopped right next to your navel. the scarred skin was now a bit paler, and you'd grimaced as you tugged your shirt on.

you couldn't be arsed with thinking about it, really, because now you had to walk into your classroom and face chan. of course, the chances of him not being there were fifty-fifty.

which inherently, made you feel worse.

you didn't understand why you couldn't stop thinking about his words, and what he said. your voice was his favorite song, he didn't care if you loved him or not, he somewhat believed in love at first sight? he'd met you officially a little over a month ago, no one can fall in love that quickly.

groaning, you felt orange flicker across your body as you let your heels clack against the saltillo tile of the hallway, tossing your half-empty coffee cup in the trash can. upon entering your room, the air feels…cooler.

chan is sitting on the couch, his legs squished together as minnie and shuhua peer at his face. soyeon, mingyu and yugyeom are flipping through various textbooks, each talking about what could have caused a sudden irischroma shift. he probably feels the heat of your stare, his eyes flickering to yours.

they're a deep, deep indigo color. they flash lightly at the sight of you, and minnie looks up to see you standing at your podium. "y/n…you've gotta come see this." "i can…i can see it, minnie." your voice is faint as you feel your chest searing hot, your hand coming to soothe it. clearing your throat, you shake your head as you feel a little weary, shuhua approaching you quickly. "are you okay? y/n?" "yes, i'm okay." your breathing becomes a little labored, soyeon and mingyu rushing to your side as you sink to the floor. "just give me some room." your hands touch the cool floor, and you can feel yourself dimming by the second. 

"gyu, get help." minnie shoves mingyu out the door, and you can hear his footsteps fading as he runs to the infirmary. "chan, help me pick her up." yugyeom urges, and you weakly shake your head.

"i'm fine, i'm okay." you choke out, your hand clutching your chest as you feel chan's warm hands on your arms, circling around to lift you gently. "easy, easy. i got you, baby." he murmurs, and you feel your eyes sting with tears as he lets you slump against him, your glow fading fast.

"stay with me." his fingers dig into your side as he picks you up bridal style, carefully walking you over to the couch. yugyeom pulls their backpacks off, letting him lower you gently. minnie fans you with a stack of papers. chan peers at your face, your brows pinched as you breathe in as deeply as you can, his thumb instinctively padding at the crease. huffing, you tear his hand away, lacing your fingers in his. he acts like his heart doesn’t lurch forward.

"alright, everybody, back up." mingyu's voice rings in the room, and your bleary eyes can barely make out the oxygen mask that nurse taeyeon is slipping over your face. "there, there, professor. we got you."

you're shivering as she instructs chan to lift you onto the gurney on three, and you almost cry at the loss of contact when he sets you down. "chan, chan." your voice is nearly a whisper, and the students watch as you flicker, your glow lost as it glitches between colors. 

"maybe you should go with her." yugyeom nudges him as nurse taeyeon glances at him, and she crosses her arms as chan nods slowly,slipping his bag over his shoulder. he takes nurse taeyeon's place at the end of the gurney, rolling you quietly out of the classroom. you're flickering from color to color as he walks slightly faster at nurse taeyeon's command.

"what happened?" she asks, and chan shakes his head as they take a sharp turn, your groan resounding in the hall. "i'm not sure, she just started clutching her chest and basically fell to the floor." nodding, taeyeon stays quiet the rest of the walk, her eyes only glancing at his worried expression and your hazy one. they're in love, she thinks. this is love.

taeyeon can't really help you. her powers lay in the herbalism field, she has no idea what's wrong, and she can't get a specialist here fast enough. she watches as chan carefully positions you in the empty room, letting his bag slide onto the floor before taking a seat at the foot of the bed. she simply sighs, calling that she'd be back with a rosemary tea and to just sit tight as she calls for the master sorcerers.

his hand gently strokes your ankle, making you flinch. "chan, chan i can't breathe." you tug at your collar, and he quickly reaches to unbutton your top buttons. "it's gonna be okay, angel." he's whispering as your hand grasps his wrist, the oxygen mask doing little to help as you wheeze.

"chan…" his head lifts, and your eyes are teary as you hear footsteps approaching hurriedly. he doesn't acknowledge you as the master sorcerers burst into your room, taeyeon trailing behind them with a steaming cup. "excuse me, coming through." she perches at the edge of the bed, carefully pulling you up. you whimper softly, and chan feels his heart ache at your pain. "drink this, it'll help your stress. that's probably what this is, just some anxiety."

taeyeon's tone is soft as she takes off the oxygen mask, the master sorcerers waiting until they can swoop in. neither of them acknowledge chan, despite getting to know him insanely well over the past few years. he could dare to think that they were afraid of him, of not knowing what he was. master sorcerers my ass, he thinks.

"i can't…" you're breathless, and taeyeon's gaze softens as she lets you slump down on the pillow once more. "it's alright. the master sorcerers are here, okay? they'll take care of you." she pats your shoulder, and you nod wearily as the grandest of all, dr. kang seulgi, takes a step forward.

"bang chan, why are you here?" her sharp voice echoes in the room, and your hand weakly reaches for him as he slides off the bed. "i brought her in, dr. kang."

"i see. you can evacuate the premises." she waves him away nonchalantly, and he frowns deeply as he steps back, your eyes fixed on him. almost like you're begging him to stay.

"i think i'll stay, actually." he blurts, and dr. kang's eyes snapped to him. "i'm not asking you, chan, i'm telling you." "let the boy stay, what's the harm?" dr. min's voice rings from his spot against the door frame, and chan glances up at the nimble man. "c'mon, seulgi."

"yoongi, if you undermine me again, you're sleeping on the couch." she grits, her wedding band to dr. min glinting in the low light as she rubs her temples. your hand reaches for chan once more, a soft groan from your lips catching his attention. he takes it, entwining your fingers quickly, kneeling at your side. "of course, jagi. y/n, what seems to be the problem?" dr. min pushes past, noting the undone buttons of your blouse. your chest is glowing, but the rest of you is the dimmest indigo he'd ever seen. much less, having seen you never glow indigo. your breathing is still labored, chest glowing brighter as chan once more rubs the pinch of your brows away.

"y/n, i'm going to open your shirt, okay?" dr. kang pushes past dr. min, her nimble fingers undoing the rest of the buttons. your scar is illuminated, but…it's not really there. it's faded, and chan can tell this is out of the ordinary as dr. kang's brows raise.

"yoongi." her voice is low, bringing her husband to her side. "oh, my."

their eyes meet, as though they're speaking telepathically. dr. kang's eyes flash gold as she furrows her brows, her husband grimacing as his own flash green. they glance at chan, who is gingerly moving your hair out of your face, his fingers barely ghosting over your sticky skin.

you can barely see him through your foggy eyes, but you're scanning him intently. you can see the glowing indigo of his eyes, that matches yours. you're dimming, but he's brighter than ever and it sends a shiver up your spine. his hand squeezes yours, a wave of heat attacking your chest.

dr. kang looks back, her husband staring intently at her.

"he healed her, it seems." his eyes speak, and she shakes her head. "he's not a healer, remember? we tried that already." yoongi nods, eyes fluttering back to the both of you. chan's now sitting on the edge of the bed, your arm draped over his lap as he speaks to you gently. he can't hear what chan is saying, but the glint of adoration in his eyes tells him all he needs to know.

"chan, can i see you in the hallway?" dr. min speaks, and your head turns to him. you pout, your eyes filling with tears as chan pulls away from you. dr. kang gives him a hard glare as she takes his place, her cool hand placed directly on your hot skin, making you groan.

"yes, dr. min?" chan's eyes are enticing, and dr. min shrugs. "let's try a little something, hm?" chan follows dr. min's line of vision, the door of the bathroom ajar. dr. min makes a gesture for chan to wait, before ducking into the bathroom, shutting the door. chan hears a loud crash, and dr. min appears just as fast, with a bloody fist.

"dr. min, are you alright? i can get nurse taeye-" dr. min places his free hand over chan's mouth, a knowing look in his eyes as he holds up his injured hand. "heal me, chan." "what? sir, i'm not a healer, you know that." chan furrows his brows, and dr. min shakes his head. "channel it." dr. min's eyes are boring into chan's soul as he looks away, shivering as he tries to channel any sort of magical energy for this injury. he's not surprised when nothing happens, and dr. min nods his head.

dr. min simply heals it himself, and chan looks away as the skin closes quickly, the dried blood disappearing before his eyes. vitalis mendacium, he thinks it's called. "chan, i think i may have an idea of what's going on with professor y/n." dr. min clasps his hands together in front of him, and chan tilts his head.

"you're in love with her, aren't you?" dr. kang's voice rings from the doorway of your room, and chan gapes at her. "w-what?" "don't play dumb. she told me she helped you clear some emotional blockage on tuesday, and she showed up in your blockages." dr. kang crosses her arms, and a groan is heard from you, chan flinching at the sound. "chan, this is dangerous territory." his eyes narrow as he shakes his head. "i don't think what you did to her was right. i think we all deserve a chance at love, no matter our mistakes. you're wrong, dr. kang." dr. kang scowls, "you think we did this to her? the old coven did it, we had no say!" she points between herself and her husband, and dr. min places his hand on her shoulder.

"chan, seulgi is right. in this world, there is no amount of study done that could reverse what the old coven has done to y/n. they cursed layers upon layers of punishment on her, this was never intended to be something that could be undone." dr. min speaks slowly, and chan can hear you whining in the room behind the couple. he's antsy, he feels sick to his stomach knowing you're a mere ten feet away and he can't make you feel better. 

"i don't know what to do." dr. kang admits lowly, her hand covering her eyes as she looks away from the men in front of her. "i think…" dr. min trails off as chan pushes past them, sliding next to you. he watches chan fan you with his hand, your own wrapped around his waist as you shiver.

"you trust me, right?" he looks to seulgi, who nods her head. "always." his hands spin her around, making her face the two of you. "i think this is his to heal. look how quiet she is in his presence, she's barely moving. her breathing is more steady." "yoongi, he's not a healer." seulgi groans into her hands, her eyes catching a flash of white protruding from you as chan runs his hand down your back. she watches as he helps you peel your jacket off, your baby pink shirt transparent from the sheen of your sweat soaking through.

"maybe not for us, but for her." yoongi mumbles, seeing chan swipe your hair away from your neck, his lips pursed as he blows cool air against your skin. your groan is one of relief as he rocks you, and seulgi glances at her husband, swallowing thickly. "they're so rare, yoongi. there hasn't been one in this dimension in three hundred and twenty five years."

"i think we may have another on our hands." yoongi smiles widely as you slowly prop yourself up on your elbow, chan's worried eyes scanning your face for distress. you make a noise of disgust, your glow returning green steadily as chan helps you sit up. "what happened? ugh, i'm all sweaty."

glancing at your hands, you see them glowing indigo as it spreads up your body. you turn, seeing the master sorcerers staring at you from the doorway. grimacing, you glimpse at chan, who is looking at you intently. "hey, you alright?" his hand is holding your hip, and your frown falters as you look into his eyes. they're glowing bright as he looks you over. "what happened to your eyes?" your voice is raspy, and he looks away, shrugging.

"i'm not sure. they started changing last night." he swallows, and you shudder as indigo engulfs you entirely. "they look…pretty."

he snorts, shaking his head. "you might want to button up your shirt." feeling your cheeks burn, your fingers fumble with the buttons when you feel seulgi's cool hand on your wrist. "wait."

letting her lay you back, you miss chan's warmth as he slips off the bed, lingering from a few feet away as she opens your shirt. her eyes widen as she quickly beckons her husband over. his eyes snake down your torso, and his eyes glint with green as he meets seulgi's. they're silent, their faces moving as they communicate.

"y/n?" dr. kang's voice is low as she runs her hand through your mussed curls, and you meet her line of vision. her eyes are soft, staring at your torso. "y/n, do you know the history of psychosomatic healers?"

raising a brow, you nod your head. "yeah, they're the rarest of the healing trifecta. there hasn't been one in this dimension since 1699, and even then there's only seven recorded cases because they're so difficult to pinpoint at commencement." dr. min steps forward, noticing chan's eyes glued to the floor as dr. kang examines you further.. "y/n, i'd like to try something, if you don't mind." nodding, you allow dr. kang to take your arm in her hand, pulling your sleeve off your shoulder. 

with a quick swipe of her nails, you're bleeding. you gape at her, a scoff flying from your lips when chan looks up, the sound tearing him from his thoughts. "are you serious, seulgi?" you push her away, flickering orange and dr. min beckons chan forward. "touch her, chan."

taking a deep breath, chan gets closer to you, his nose scrunching at the blood seeping into your shirt. he takes your hand in his, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. you look away from your shoulder, zeroing in on the subtle touch of affection when a white glow catches everyone's eyes. tugging at your shirt sleeve, seulgi reveals a clean shoulder, no injury visible.

"a psychosomatic healer can only heal those they love." she states, her eyes boring into chan's as he tries to tug his hand away, but you only use it as leverage to sit up. "what the fuck are you guys on about?" "there's no way you're that dumb, y/n." seulgi snorts, her manicured fingernail pointing at your chest. "i don't know how he did it, and i don't think we'll ever know. the curse the coven set upon you has been lifted by him." you look down — the raised welt where your scar once was has dissipated. widening your eyes, you peel the shoulder of your shirt down, the formerly scarred skin now smooth. your fingers tremble as you run them over your soft flesh, feeling the sting of tears forming. you can feel the burn of a sob in your throat as chan releases your hand, stepping back as you process.

the burning of his gaze, of his skin on yours, of your chest in his presence. the ache you felt in your soul yesterday as his lips brushed your neck with every roll of his hips, the way his answers confused you. the anger you felt while walking to class, at not being able to decipher him.

the way his angel eyes held the sun, the moon, and the stars. the way worry creases his brow though relief has washed over his frame, the way you're itching to hold him close, and never, ever let go.

it all makes sense.

"we'll give you both a moment." the master sorcerers bow their heads as they back out of the room, dr. min closing the door behind him. you sit in silence, feeling sticky and gross and overwhelmed.

"you're in love with me?!" you shriek, and chan throws up his hands in defense. "i thought we already knew this, why are we screaming?!" you swat his arm, and a nervous laugh bubbles up his throat. flopping back down onto the gurney, you dramatically cover your eyes with your arm, sighing. "now i have to cherish this, and we're probably going to get married and have kids and all that shit. are you serious? are you serious." "y/n…" you stand up, pacing back and forth in front of him, your hands weaving through your hair to soothe the onsetting migraine at the information. "how are you not freaking out, chan? you just found out you're one of the rarest healers in the trifecta, and not to mention the first in over three centuries! are you shitting me right now?" "y/n?"

you're not listening as you continue to ramble, pacing a hole into the floor when he grabs your shoulder, pulling you to him. taking both your hands in his, he looks you in the eyes. "you're spiraling." 

huffing, you nibble on your lower lip. "what happens now, chan?"

his smile is warm, it's comforting, it's making your stomach flip as he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "i don't know. isn't that the beauty of it all, though? not knowing where you end up?"

pouting, you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing his warmth to seep into your skin. "i've never felt this, chan. i don't know what it's like to be lost, i've always had my answers." you can feel the vibrations of his chest as he laughs, his hand coming to stroke your hair gently.

"that's okay, it'll be like the blind leading the blind. for now, we can just focus on…us? maybe go on a date, have dinner…" his voice is soft as you look up to him, his eyes already scanning your face for any hint of rejection. "unless you don't want to." you do, of course you do.

"i'm all sweaty, and gross. we've had a revelation about your purpose in this world, your eyes are a different color, and you want to focus on us?" your voice is laced with incredulity, a hint of amusement peeking through as it tugs at your lips. "i have my whole life to focus on other things. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? i have that answer, that piece now, but i'm already figuring this part out." squeezing your shoulder, he places a chaste kiss on your hairline, your nose scrunching.

"why did you come with me?" you poke his chest, and he smirks. "yesterday or today?"

gaping, you land a soft smack to his chest, his squeaky laughter filling your ears as your cheeks heat. "chan! not funny!" "sorry, i'm sorry! i saw an opportunity, i took it. but, i was worried about you." he starts, taking a piece of your hair between his fingers. "i saw how angry you looked before minnie spoke to you, and before you looked at me. you started looking faint when we met eyes, and i was…i was scared that something might happen to you and that i wouldn't be able to apologize for potentially overstepping boundaries, or ruining whatever little game we have going on."

"you couldn't ruin whatever this is even if you tried." you scoff, your words tumbling out before you can process them. "i've never felt anything this intense before in my entire life. my ears started ringing when i touched your chest on tuesday, here." you splay your fingers on his hoodie, in the same place.

"i couldn't hear a thing. that was me, the blockage, i was basically hearing myself. if we didn't have that moment, if you hadn't let me in, none of this would have happened." you speak softly, taking his hands in yours, his eyes glassy as he looks into yours. your smile is gentle, and he can feel his stomach flutter as you lean closer. "and i'm so glad it did. despite this whole day being so weird, despite the coven probably burning holes into the back of my head right now from hell right now, and despite the tears i can see about to spill out of your eyes, nothing could ruin this. okay?" he looks away, nibbling on his lip. your thumb strokes his cheek, catching a few stray tears as you make him face you. vision blurring, but you can see him clearer than ever.

"okay?" you insist, and he nods. "okay."

"good." pulling him towards you, you crash your lips to his, feeling your heart beating in your ears. your arms cross over his shoulders, his hands finding home on your bare waist, the kiss becoming heated. parting his lips, your tongue snakes its way in, a soft groan from chan as he pushes you back, your knees hitting the gurney. 

"not in here, guys." dr. kang's voice echoes in the room, and you spring apart like teenagers. wiping at your lips, you watch as chan grabs your discarded jacket, and his bag. outstretching his hand to you, you take it, letting him rush the both of you towards the door. quickly bowing to the master sorcerers, you giggle as the cool december air hits your chest.

"yeah, y/n! nice titties, girl!" you hear a holler from down the hall, your eyes catching a glimpse of minnie's teal hair. you smile widely, waving as chan continues, a blush coating his cheeks as you begin to float behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"where are we going?" you mumble in his ear, and he shivers. "to yours. i need to show you how much you mean to me." you let the butterflies bounce around in your stomach, knowing exactly what was coming your way.

friday – january 08.

your relationship with chan had become the talk of the wizard world. several words were thrown your way, many to your detriment – but you chose to focus on 'love epiphany' and 'anomalies made to traverse together.'

he naturally passed your class with flying colors, what more could you do when he literally discovered himself? the students deemed it completely fair, with only yugyeom choosing to retake your course because he felt like he didn't really do what was necessary. mornings were filled with the buzzing of your phone – the students had made a group chat and continuously badgered you with memes, and mingyu with his graduation photos.

whereas, chan's mornings were filled with you, his phone long put on silent. your soft hair tickling his neck, only for your gentle lips to place chaste kisses along his jaw as he awoke. your warm leg draped over his waist, your knee teasing his crotch so early was something he'd never get used to. your arm, propping you up once he lazily peels an eye open, closing it the moment he sees your beaming smile, a blush coating his cheeks.

"do you always stare at me when i sleep?" he mumbles, his fingers dipping under the hem of your sleep shorts. "do birds fly?" "you're a creep, you know that?" laughing, he lets you hold his eyes open with your fingers, the indigo glow of them making you glow brighter in turn. that was what it meant, after all – the subzero color now warm, as you illuminated the room with your love for chan. "yeah? well you're creeping your fingers into my panties, so maybe shut up."

your lips are addicting, he could never get enough of them as you brush them against him. both sets, of course.

kidding. sort of. not at all. he loves you, okay? that's all that matters.

"you should check your email, channie." you murmur against his neck, and he nods his head, watching as you try not to smile. "oh i should, should i?" ignoring the raise of his eyebrow, you reach for chan's phone, plopping it on his bare chest. chan lolls his head back, hands relocating to your hips as he pulls you on top of him. your cheeks heat at the soft love bites on his pec, but shake it away as his voice snakes into your head

"you seem a little too excited, baby." he ruffles your hair as he unlocks his phone, and you just bite your lip as he scans the screen. "tell me, sorcerer, what's the news?" your voice bounces off the walls, with chan just squeezing your hip in response.

from: spellboundnews@spellbound.edu

dearest bang chan,

it is our honor here at the spellbound institute of magic to let you know that you have been chosen to be published in this year's edition of the spellbound sorcerer. such an honor is only awarded to those with extraordinary skill. 

we've also made the unanimous decision for you to speak at this year's annual convention, taking over the healing trifecta's booth. more information will be provided as the date approaches.

we look forward to seeing you and professor y/l/n there.

signed,

dr. kang seulgi

dr. min yoongi

master sorcerers

spellbound institute of magic

his eyes flicker to yours, your grin so wide, it's infectious. "i'm getting published." "you're getting published!" you cheer loudly, and chan feels his cheeks heat as you pepper his face in kisses. "you're getting published, baby! we have to celebrate! let's ask your parents to dinner, yeah? we can get a cabin for the weekend, so they don't have to drive home so late."

he forgets how you pried the truth about his parents out of him, but he's almost sure it was last tuesday when you made him beg for you to sit on his face. almost sure, but he doesn't really care anymore. after all, he'd warmed up to you.

"i'm so proud of you, channie." your voice is gentle as you swipe your thumbs under his eyes, and he nods, burying his face in your chest as embarrassment spreads in his. "hey, you can't hide from me. what happened to the praise kink? don't you want to know how good you're doing?" "i told you that in confidence!" he swats at your leg as he nestles into your laughter. "i know! it's just me and you here, what's the problem?! let me praise you!"

"never. come on, let's read my stupid essay." he throws the comforter off his legs, and you huff as you climb off his lap. sitting up on the edge of the bed, you lean against his back, your arms hooked around his broad shoulders. the same ones full of your nail marks, a few imprints of your teeth scattered around them. "i graded it, i already read it." "well, praise me while i read it." he snorts, and you press a soft kiss to his shoulder. "mm, okay. i'll take what i can get."

bang chan

professor y/l/n

identity theory

if you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it. – tony stark, spider-man: homecoming (2017)

the fall was slow, like liebesträume.

feeling lost is an understatement.

i've been lost before – in grocery stores, misunderstanding assignments. i've even been lost in the woods before, riddled with anxiety standing within the trees. so uniform, full of belonging. those trees know where their purpose lies.

me? i've been wandering this world not knowing where my purpose lies, what i'm meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose. this is a feeling of disorientation, isolation, off course. it's all the same anyway, isn't it?

i spent years looking for answers – from the day i was dropped off at the academy to the day i met professor y/l/n. life was well sullied with fear, a feeling of desperation as i felt my time running low. i willingly put myself in danger, hopping from dimension to dimension with the aid of some friends to find something to ease my worries, and came up empty. answers will find you, not you them.

another thing i failed to consider was that i perhaps had my answer all along. from the natural instinct to protect and take care of the people i hold close, to the agony of being away from my family – all i needed was a catalyst. something to throw me even more off course, even more confusing than what life had come to be before her.

professor y/l/n has brought me to life. truly, i could never say enough to express the appreciation i have for her, but i will attempt it any chance i get. an enigma, an anomaly, a paradigm – she is far, far more than these words could begin to define. she's selfless, she's full of light and i could never understand that. my admiration for her goes well beyond this lifetime, and like the praying mantis, she was a beacon of guidance.

her story is full of twists and turns as she allowed me to indulge. from the flickering of the glow around her, to understanding that only the deepest of her indigo hue glows for me, i'm honored to say the least. i will never get enough of her story, of her truths, of her. the idea that love lies in the hands of the beholder is entirely true in this case. to be loved is to be known, and she read me far beyond my wildest dreams the moment her golden cast laid upon me. 

eckhart tolle says that, to love is to recognize yourself in another. i have never experienced something as deep as this, nor have i ever seen myself in y/n – and i'm glad i don't. my insecurities, my flaws, what i dislike about myself, are my own. however, i know she sees something i don't, and i trust that. i trust her, with my entire being. without her, i'd have no clue of my purpose. to younger me, who is still wondering the answer to that, i propose this.

your purpose is to love. love beyond your ways, love selflessly. love selfishly, like it's all you can do. like it's all you're capable of, because the moment you lay eyes on y/n? you will see, it is. loving her is all you can do. life without love is meaningless, life without her is hopeless.

temptaetions © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

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[queenofallimagines]

Hi there! Can I please request headcanons if the obey me demon brothers + side characters (except from Luke obviously) with a female MC with naturally big breasts? Like whenever she hugs the demon brothers her breasts are always in their face and the demon brothers and undateables start to feel a bit dirty and naughty?it's fine if you don't want to do an NSFW if you don't want to.

You sure can!! (Me uploading after literally 4 years????) I am no longer burnt out and I’m hyperfixating HARD on nightbringer so *cracks fingers* 🤭😌

** also didn’t notice till uploading this that it just slowly gets filthier and filthier😭

Part 1

Lucifer:

- your so real for this anon bc I got them anime titties and I would definitely use them for evil😈

- This man is filthy if anything! Like you see how he’s always ready to invite you back to his room??

- So when you pressing up against him he’s actively trying not to get hard

- The type to be super touchy like “fixing” your uniform saying you buttoned it wrong(you didn’t)

- LOVES when you hug him really tight bc he can feel the curves of your body pressing into him and now he’s imagining you doing the same thing naked

- I’m telling you this man is worse than asmo

- If you’re in his office and lean in to help him with paperwork his eyes are starring holes into your chest

- He wants nothing more than to hold them in his hands and squeeze

- If you tease him about it he will definitely use that as an excuse to do it

- “Hm? Getting shy now after teasing me so much?”

- Like he WILL have you sit in his lap at his desk as he fondles your chest to his hearts content

- As a demon he’s naturally insatiable so he isn’t above pulling you out of class to indulge in his urges

- Leaves bite marks all over your chest

Mammon:

- absolutely cannot hide how much he likes them

- He’s glad he’s taller than you so he can just look down at you and get a perfect view

- When you hug him it takes every cell in his body not to rip your shirt open

- Wants to shove his face in em and suffocate

- Loves when you ride him because then he can have them directly in his face

- Whole ass has spent full classes just daydreaming about them

- Probably hides your bras so you don’t wear them

- If you have nipple piercings or want some he offers to pick the jewelry

- “NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE IT ON YOU OR ANYTHING!!”

- Fighting for his life not to squeeze em

- Will fake having a headache to lay on your lap to stare up at them

- Leaves bite marks on em too

Levi:

- hentai watcher loves huge boobs

- Fighting worse than mammon

- Bc he will watch you walk down the stairs with no shame and then get flustered about it

- If you cuddle with him in his bath tub he can’t help but get handsy

- Wants to hold you up with his tail and watch them bounce in his face when he fucks you

- Like he will koala hold you and have his face in your chest as he fucks into you nice n deep

- Completely immobilized

- Might even consider coming to class just to watch you in your uniform all day

- Glitches when you hug him like literally his brain factory resets and he’s going through 7 emotions at once

- Your like awww you cute being shy but he’s freaking out bc he wants to do filthy unspeakable things to you

- Like In his head he’s like “oh my god??? Why tf do I want to paint their face it’s just a hug???”

- Banned you from his room for a while and didn’t say why but he’s damn near in heat the way he’s fucking his fist for hours thinking about you

- Will pretend to be normal but asmo can SEE the gears turning in his head

- “Levi is so cute how he gets flustered holding my hand!”

- “Yeah because he wants his hands around your throat,dear”

Satan:

- yeah he’s literally just a cat

- Lays on them and paws at them

- Will go shopping with you and compliment them in any tight shirt

- Might even offer to wash your uniform JUST to shrink it a few sizes so it’s even tighter on you

- He’s shameless just like the eldest but he has that flirtatious charm that’s not TOO overbearing like Lucifer

- Cat lingerie

- Puts you in a mating press just to see them squish together

- “Mind warming my hands?”

- Will shove his cold as ice hands in your shirt under the guise of “you’re a warm human I’m cold blooded🥺”

- You know how you squeeze your chest for comfort or just play with them sometimes for no reason? He does that for you

- And it’s all cool and normal until he starts pinching your nipples and kissing your neck🙄

- Like it was normal and now you can feel him grinding against your backside

- “Mmm I can feel your heart starting to race kitten”

- Will brush his fangs up against your neck also

- Wants to keep toying with your body until you start begging

- “Maybe if you ask nicely I’ll fill you up Hm?”

- He’s a sadist at heart so he can’t make it too easy for you

Asmo:

- Hear me out but it starts out normal

- He’s gunna make comments but he’s more enthralled with how they would look in various outfits

- So you and him are shopping 24/7

- You tired from trying on multiple outfits and bras

- He’s picking up more clothes from the rack so you press against his back and hug him from behind tiredly asking if you can stop your exhausted

- And that’s when he’s like…. I actually want to squeeze them

- Stutters a bit as he comes to this realization

- Smiles a sweet saccharine smile and tells you that you guys can leave and he will make you feel better after overexerting your body

- Looking down at you out the corner of his eye and watching them move as you walk

- Watching how they move when you breathe

- Fr like a scorpion about to strike

- And you’re none the wiser

- Pulling out all his nipple clamps and vibrating ones

- Before he was looking at them from a aesthetic standpoint but now all he can think about is them wrapped around his cock and finishing on your face

- “Open wide dear~”

- Will even pull out to cover them in cum so you might have to beg if you want him to finish anywhere else

- Body worship KING

Beel:

- whew

- Didn’t notice until you go to work out with him and then he’s like they look really soft

- Good enough to eat

- Might bite down a little too hard when marking you because he wants to really see the marks

- Sucking them like his life depends on it

- Breeding kink activated bc if he knocks you up they’ll get even bigger

- You just KNOW when he looks at you w those eyes and says he’s hungry what he wants

- Better find a quiet corner and unbutton your shirt

- Will stick to you like glue in gym class good lord

- Offers to pick you up a lot

- Fav position is when he’s on his knees for you and looks up to see you breathing heavily

- Will massage them bc his hands are huge

- Buuuuut like Satan he will get “distracted”

- Loves reverse cowgirl but is impatient and will sit up to hold them from behind and fuck up into you

- “Mc you taste so good”

- Hickeys will be there for weeks

- Will literally tire your ass out QUICK

Belphie:

- a clown

- Circus king actually

- He’s been peeped how big your chest is and he’s not shy about it

- He’s literally as shameless as asmo it’s crazy😭

- Will lay on you claiming their the perfect pillows but will also feel you up and just act like it’s not a big deal

- “Mmm your really soft mc”

- Whole body a stress ball😐

- Does this in full view of the others and won’t care in the slightest

- Hard to talk to beel about homework when he’s sliding his hands under your shirt and groping you

- You end up in an attic club sandwich often bc of this😔✊🏿

- Will join in the convo and probably take it over like he’s NOT pinching your nipples in a regular conversation

- Going to sleep is his escape card

- Don’t believe him none of the shit he says are exhaustion induced he means that shit fr

- Will stare at you w half lidded eyes and mumble something about how your tits look like they’d be perfect to shove his cock in between

- “Wandering hands as he sleeps” ass mf

- Man sloth and sleepiness is his DOMAIN please don’t let any of the lies about how he’s just sleepy he can’t help it fool you!!

- He will literally enter your dreams and leave hickeys all over them

- Will give you the most raunchy vivid sex dreams ever until you come to him begging for him to touch you

- You wake up actually feeling his touch and he will lazily smile at you from across the table at breakfast as you fidget under his gaze

- Loose hold as he latches onto you but his hands brushing up against your chest is no mistake

- Will straight up say he wants to suck your tits if you ask him what’s w his behavior

- Has the same energy as satan but where he’s smooth and charming belphie is blunt and honest about his desires

- No flowery words or poetic phrases

- He will look you in the eyes w the most bored expression and tell you how he wants to cover you in his cum

- Probably barely looks up at you phone as he says it too😭

[acetaminphen]

Forgive Me Father (PT 2)

Charlie Mayhew x Reader

*religious, sacrilege, angst, some fluff, mentions of abuse / abuse, adult content 18+, mentions of blood, not entirely based on how he would act, not religiously accurate*

WC: idk it’s long but not too long.

You awake in the morning, a heavy feeling in your chest. No…not heavy, is it amusement? You feel almost giddy to hear what Father Mayhew has to say for himself. That day replays in your head constantly. The day you went to find Father Charlie to talk about certain proverbs he had mentioned during Mass. Proverbs 4:25, 26. You couldn’t find him anywhere so you went to see if he was in his room. When you approached his door you were about to knock when you noticed the door was slightly ajar. Commiting a transgression, you peaked through the door. May God shield your eyes from what you had seen. Father Mayhew, shaking hands with no one but the devil himself… He was masturbating.

You kept watching, a part of you didn’t want too, but you did. Clutching your silver cross necklace, you couldn’t help but stare. You felt something you hadn’t felt in a long while since becoming a nun. A certain desire. A sinful desire. You took a step back from the door when he stood up, not wanting him to notice you. He washes his hands in holy water and then grabs something nearby. He kneels by his bedside. Suddenly you hear a sharp crack. You peak back into his room. Seeing him whipping his own back, self-flagellation. One after another. Repeating verses to himself. Blood pooling down his back with how harshly he’s hitting himself. He’s barely flinching… Yet he looks dejected, almost sickened with himself. Covering your mouth with how astounded you are, unsettled and almost disgusted. However, another part of you felt remorse, almost understanding in a way. You couldn’t take watching anymore, so you left.

All while daydreaming, no, reminiscing about that day, you notice the time. You’re almost late to confession. You hurry to the chancel. Noticing there’s still a long line, all the other nuns are still waiting. Normally at this time you would’ve been near the last one, if not completely last. “How long have you been waiting, sister?” You whisper.

“Long, sister.” She shakes her head, “I’m almost worried for Father Charlie. He’s never been this late before.” You nod your head at her words. You stand there a moment longer before walking off.

You’re going to his room. You can’t help but remember what happened the first, and last time you went to his room. Could you risk seeing that again? Would he be doing the same thing? Worse? You can’t help but think of what if something is truly wrong with Father. What if something did happen? What if he hurt himself badly and he passed out from blood loss? All these thoughts rushing and scrambling through your mind. You finally make it to his room, faster than you thought, you must’ve been subconsciously rushing. You take in a a deep breath as you knock on his door and walk in with your eyes barely open. “Father?” You speak barely above a whisper. You can barely make out him turning around with how narrowed your eyes are. You fully open them to see him wearing nothing a but a towel, and a Bioré nose strip?

“Would you mind closing that door? Please.” He softly speaks up, his eyes dark.

“Is that a Bioré pore strip on your nose?”

He lets out a small laugh, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness,” He removes the strip. “Isn’t that what they taught us?”

You can help but almost stare at his body, almost fully enamored with how he looks. You are fully enamored. All you can muster up to say is a quiet and weak “Mm-hmm.”

“What are you here for, sister?”

“If I may be so bold…”

He slightly interrupts you, “We have that in common.”

“You missed confession.”

He takes a step closer to you, “I didn’t want anyone to overhear what either of us has to confess.”

“The confessionals are nearly sound proof, Father.” You speak quickly. Nervously, almost in disbelief, you know he’s lying.

“Maybe I like seeing your angelic face.” He looks you up and down, examining you. “It lifts my spirits.” You make a small, quick silent prayer to God, for your incoming thoughts. What the hell is he thinking?

“Would you mind?” He slightly leans his hand towards you, “Drying my back?” a folded towel lies in his hand. You look at the towel and then him, you reluctantly take the towel and follow him over to the other side of his bed as he kneels down. As you move behind him you can see many scars, fresh wounds, bruises, stitches. You gently place the towel on his shoulder, he lets out a small groan. As you continue gently dabbing his back he continues to groan, almost as if he’s being pleasured in someway. Almost as if you are pleasuring him.

That subtle feeling of desire. That little God forbidden hint of desire. Lust. Sin. It boils in your chest, your chest becoming heavier and heavier with each groan he lets out. Your stomach churning, it feels light. The fluttering in your stomach almost making you nauseous. You can’t help but give into the desire, letting your free hand wander onto his ribs. Caressing his soft supple skin. Deviating towards the front of his chest, your body subconsciously leaning towards him. His head leaning back ever so slightly with his eyes closed. He lets out a deep groan, guttural almost. You’ve completely lost hope, he’s weakened you. Your face leans in closer than your body as it touches the nape of his neck. So close you know he can feel every breath you’re taking. Both of you quietly and softly moaning. Your hand quickly but yet almost slow motioned, moves up to his neck as you caress all the way around. Fingertips moving up to his jaw, then working their way into his mouth.

“Sister.” Weakly escapes his lips. You let out almost a soft moan.

“Sister.” He repeats. Your open mouth continues to glide against his cheek. “No, no…” He softly states. Your mind is like an abyss at this point, you’re so far gone into the affair. Your ears are ringing.

“No!” He roars, almost as if he was scolding you, quickly snapping you out of your fantasy. You jump back from him, clenching the towel with both of your hands. He slightly looks up in front of him, “For all that is in this world, the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, the pride of life come not from the Father…” He turns and looks at you, “But from this world.”

You look ahead of him and see none other than a painting of God himself. Watching. Seeing. The almighty God, watching you daring to commit a sin right before his own eyes. You throw the towel down and rush out of Father Charlie’s room. Almost slamming the door behind you. As you make your way down the corridor, spinning in disarray. Letting out a gutteral scream. Twirling around, you’re going insane. How did he break you, make you feel that way? Not once but twice. This time acting upon it. Not only is it just a sin, but to sin in front of God himself. You’re shaking, physically and mentally. You reach the banister, grasping the railing, your knuckles white. Thrashing back and forth, so vigorously your wimple flys off. You collapse in front of the banister, before letting out yet another gutteral scream.

You’ve completely fallen for him. Yet there’s something inside you, telling you not too. Not your faith, not your vows. Could it be God himself? Sending you a warning of acting upon your sinful desires? No. It feels almost like a clairvoyance. What else could make you feel that way? Lust and repugnance at the same time. A heavy feeling of guilt yet innocence. A feeling of rebellion and obedience.

Satan.

You recall the words of the Mother Superior as they echo in your mind, “The devil is real. He’s not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful, cause he’s a fallen angel and he used to be God’s favorite.”

Satan. That man is the devil himself.

⊹˚ ࣪⚝₊ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ⭒. ࣪☾.⭒ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ ࣪⚝₊ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ⭒ . ࣪☾.⭒ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ 𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ⭒. ࣪☾.⭒

ALRIGHT guys, not as much dialogue in this one as the last but i hope you enjoy it just as much as the last. possible part three if you guys insist and it does well again.

also i literally cannot wait for the next episode, im so excited to see what plays out with the entire plot, and of course father charlie mayhew himself. is he really the devil himself? or just a sacrilegious priest?

[dreamy-state-of-mind]

Dancing in the Dark

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x girlfriend!reader (she/her)

Summary: You and your boyfriend stay up late talking and he asks you to dance with no music with the glow of the moon and the city lights

Warnings: None except extreme fluff

Authors note: First time doing this, hope you love it

Charles had a rare Friday night off not training on the simulation and not getting ready for qualifying the next day. He wanted to take you out for a nice dinner and then come back to the apartment and relax.

He took you to a nice fancy restaurant and you both got all dressed up for the occasion. Charles wore black dress shoes, navy dress pants, white button down shirt with a blue tie and matching navy blazer. You opted for a maxi dress.

Normally you and Charles are going to a local cafe or picking up food to make on the yacht but tonight you getting more attention since you’re dressed to the nines.

Paparazzi and lots of fans somehow found you both. Charles is nice enough to take some pictures but he tells everyone that he’s on a special date night with you.

Charles takes your hand and leads you inside the restaurant. He asks the hostess if their table is ready, she says yes and leads the both of you to the outside seating. Charles the gentleman he is pulls out your chair and you sit down.

He sits down and a waiter comes by to pour wine for the both of you. Neither one of you say anything as you look over the menu but it’s such comfortable silence that you love it. You peer over your menu to look at your gorgeous boyfriend. He’s wearing that suit that you love when he has fancy events to attend.

You look back down to your menu and finally decide on a salad. Now it’s Charles’ turn to look at you. You’re wearing a sequined maxi dress white, blue, cream and orange, comfortable flats with a simple clutch. Your hair is in beach waves, with minimal makeup. The only piece of jewelry you have on is the engagement ring he gave you.

His eyes stare at you and look up.

“Is there something on my face, love?”

“No, you look really pretty tonight. I’m glad we can do dinner tonight with no distractions.”

You blush from the compliment.

"Thanks babe, I'm glad you have a Friday off to relax and get dinner with me."

Dinner was enjoyable. While eating you caught up on your work week and Charles going over the new upgrades made for him and Carlos. You worked from home this week since the apartment needed serious cleaning from Arthur and Lorenzo crashing at your apartment way too often and occasionally Joris when he's lazy to catch an Uber. Charles was in Maranello testing the car along with Carlos. Charles knew he didn't want to bore you so he briefly talked about the cars upgrade.

A warm silence falls between you and Charles. He asks if you are ready to leave.

You get up to leave but before you do you ask if you can share some ice cream at the apartment since it’s a nice night and you want to have the fun dessert on the balcony.

As you're walking out of the restaurant to the car more people have found out where you were eating. You try tell yourself you're used to the fame but you're not. Charles can sense that you're feeling a little uneasy and squeezes your hand a couple of times reassuring you're okay.

You get into your car and drive back to apartment.

The drive was quiet. Charles had his right hand resting on your left thigh. You were looking out the window enjoying the scenery and thinking of ice cream. You're normally thinking of Charles and the dirty things you want to do with him but really you want the ice cream.

Getting ice cream was your first date so all of the memories from that come rushing in like it was yesterday. Charles pulls you out of your daydream.

"Hey baby, we're here."

He turns the car off and gets out from side. He comes around to open your door. Charles offers his hand to help you get out of the car and once you're walking to the apartment your holding hands.

You arrive at your shared apartment and he opens the door. The gentleman that he is lets you walk in first and you can finally change into something more comfy. You hear Charles locking the door and the sound of his shoes following you to your bedroom. Once you're in the bedroom you take your dress off and put on an old Ferrari t shirt that was Charles' but you stole it as a sleep shirt. You slip on some comfortable shorts as well.

Your standing there doing your nightly skincare routine after you washed off the barely there makeup you had on. As you’re doing your skincare Charles walks in.

Charles changes out of his suit and into a comfy pair of sweats. He opts for no shirt since it's warm out and he notices that you aren't wearing that much either. He comes in the bathroom to feel a bit cooler because of the heat wave moving through Europe.

There’s silence while you’re finishing up. Once you're done Charles grabs your hand and leads you to the kitchen. You open up the freezer and saw the only thing in there was chocolate ice cream. You grab the ice cream and see Charles has already gotten out bowls and spoons.

You distribute the ice cream for you and Charles with nice size scoops.

You grab both bowls and walk to the balcony. Thankfully Charles already has the balcony door open. You walk out to Charles and hand him his ice cream.

You again sit in comfortable silence while eating the ice cream. Once done you leave the bowls on the bistro table.

“You okay? You look deep in thought over there.”

"Just thinking how lucky I am to be with you and having these rare moments with you on my off days."

Charles gets up and puts his right hand out for you take. You go along with whatever idea that he has come up with. When you stand up face to face with Charles, he slides his hands to you waist and you automatically rest your hands at the base of his neck. The two of you start swaying slowly. What really catches you off guard is that there's no music playing within a hundred yards of the balcony.

"Babe, why are we dancing? There's no music playing anywhere."

Charles looks down at you. You see the softness in his eyes and love he has for you no matter what is happening around you.

"I want to dance because we never get to do something just the two of us like this. Yes we dance but it's always with friends at a club with really loud music. I want us to spend quality time together and make new memories like this one right now."

"Charlie, you're going to make me cry. I love that you want to create new memories with me. Dancing in clubs is always fun but I love this even more."

You remove your hands from his neck and you wrap them around his torso instead. Every ounce of the hug your giving Charles is reflective of the love you have for him.

Charles is still swaying with you while you're in the hug. Nothing else needs to be said. No music on but you and him dancing in the moonlight on your balcony. It's a perfect way to end a great Friday night.

[adventuringblind]

Monsters in my Mind

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sometimes those thoughts won't leave, the ones you don't want... The ones that can be dangerous. All it takes is one person to help make them go away.

Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, referenced/implied self-harm, violent thoughts, impulsive behaviors, panic attacks, non-sexual dominance as a form of coping, dom/sub undertones

Notes: My thoughts are self stabby as of late. Pardon me as I write this for myself to keep my head and hands busy.

Side Note: Consider feeding my praise kink maybe...?

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The head is a strange place. One's conscious is usually meant to help them make the right decisions and not engage in acts that could hurt them or others. Her head, however, is the opposite of that.

It's a dark twisted place where thoughts that aren't her own find refuge. They want to bathe her in the ecstasy of things that shouldn't feel good. daydreams about things that could repulse any typical human being.

Sometimes they are so strong and her bodies reactions are so out of control, that she has to find relief somewhere. The knife against her skin takes the edge off. Is it normal to moan at the sting and feel satisfied looking at her red stained thighs? She does, until the realization settles in and the guilt won't let her think.

The thoughts laugh at her for giving in so easily. They scrutinize the fact she gets off on the pain.

She walks around in fear of herself. The anxiety and exhaustion from constantly fighting herself are visible on her body. She's tired, and everyone knows it. It's why they don't come near her. Always to caught up in her own head to realize people are trying converse.

It's not like her job requires to much discussion with people. Puzzles keep her brain busy and Ferrari keeps her busy with all the strategy mishaps they throw at her. They throw her a problem, she solves it, plans for next time, and they fuck it up again by not using the solution.

Sometimes she thinks about throwing herself in front of an F1 car going full speed. That voice in her head screams at her anytime she's close to the live track.

Then there is Max. His voice sends the thoughts running and it makes her want to cling to him. She wants him to never stop talking about anything and everything.

Today had been particularly difficult with the of the driver switch coming at the end of the season. Carlos and Charles are the first drivers she's worked with and they all got along great. She doesn't want it to change. That means more unknowns.

The wind graces her cheeks and kisses her finger tips as she sits on the balcony of their apartment. Everything is to much right now and her thoughts won't quiet.

She was in Maranello when the news came out. Her head became so loud with the fear of change and worry for her friend. Enough to be sent home for the day - alone, and nothing to help her head aside from the burning desire to just end it all.

Max had made arraignments for her to spend some time with him in the Milton-Keynes. She was still alone for periods of time. Enough to have to settle herself somehow.

The color red makes something in her relax. Specifically when it's flowing out of her own body.

Now Max is with her and she's stuck in her own head. The never ending maze of twisted thoughts keeps her from moving. The fear of giving in has been looming over her head for longer then normal. It feels like she's losing something, always has been with this team, but change feels far worse then staying with them.

Max hasn't pushed her to do much aside from at least stay in his presence. Occasionally attempting to get her out of her own head with movies and games. He's even spent hours at a time just talking to her about anything and everything.

He opens the door to the balcony, but she doesn't look at him. Not until he holds his hand out for her to take. An action she does without hesitation. No thoughts are needed for this, just following Max's lead.

He leads her over to the couch and arranges them so she can sit tucked into his lap. A grounding hand runs up and down the lenght of her spine. "I've been doing some research about how we might be able to get your head to quiet down."

"I'll do anything, jus' want it to stop." Her voice sounds dry and cracked from how hard she's screamed and cried through the last few days.

"Do you trust me?"

"More then I trust anyone."

She finds herself slipping off the couch and onto her knees, in-between Max's legs with her head resting against his thigh. His touch doesn't leave her skin. "You're doing so good for me. Listen to my voice and focus on taking big breathes for me. Can you do that for me?"

She hums in response. The continual stroke of Max's fingers against her face and sound of his voice already helping immensely.

"That's it, just breathe for me. I've got you; you don't have to fight the thoughts alone. I'm right here with you, keeping them away, never leaving your side." Max grabs one of her hands with his free one. her fingers lay between his. Her favorite puzzle with how easy the pieces fit together.

"You're here with me; I've got you. Those scary thoughts aren't your own. The are unwanted and uninvited, but most importantly, they don't define you. You are brave, loved, beautiful without gaping wounds. You're not crazy or psychotic. You are yourself, with your highs and your lows."

Her body has never felt like this. Her entire being wants to give itself over to Max. His breathes guiding her own, his gentle yet firm hold on her keeping her where he wants.

She lets herself fall under his spell. If Max can take the control away from her, make her complaint and relaxed like this, then he can have her thoughts too.

"That's it, such a good girl, let me think for you. I won't leave you to fight or flounder on your own."

She follows Max's directions, lets him guide her in this place of trust and letting go of things. He's turning her brain off and letting her float without any kind of worries except what Max is telling her to do.

Until all she can think of is him. The calm the comes with his presence and the way his voice falls over her like a soft blanket. Max is all she knows, occupying every crevice of her mind and leaving no room for anything else to creep in.

"How're you feeling, geliefd?" There is a lightness to his tone that makes her swoon.

She hums against his leg. "Warm, fuzzy, head empty."

"Then you stay here as long as you need, okay? I'll keep you safe."

And she does.

She falls into the warm embrace of Max's words. She lets him protect her and keep the dark ugly thoughts away.

With Max, her head is quiet. The voices can't come though. When they do, he's there to fight them back.